Profile//Spencer Reid//Criminal Minds

Chapter Fourteen

"I'm really trying here, Spencer." I grumbled as he set some paper onto my desk.

I got put back to work, my normal routine right?

I tried to fill out the paperwork that I literally have no idea about.

"I don't know how to do this." I threw my pen down.

"You're not even trying." He says, sitting on the counter.

"It's simply Spence, I can't get back into a routine that I don't even know."

"What'd you just call me?" He says, looking at me.

"What?"

"You just called me Spence, that's what my nickname was." He smiles.

"I didn't really mean to do it, it just kind of slipped out." I shrug.

"That's a great thing, it shows progress, maybe everything will come back." He starts to get excited.

"Please, don't get you hopes up." I said, looking up my parents murder. 

"What are you doing?" He asks.

"Who solved my parents murder?" I asked.

His eyes turned away, pain flicking within them. "It was Jason. Jason Gideon."

"Where is he?" I ask, turning towards him. 

"You really don't remember?" He asks.

"I'm pretty sure we've made this clear already, no."

"He was a case." Reid says. 

"But you only do cases on ones that-" I stop mid sentence, vomit rising to my throat. "No."

I run to the bathroom and vomit into the toilet. Spencer rubs my back and holds my hair up. 

The team is outside the bathroom when I come out. "Are you alright?" Morgan asks. 

"Yeah, just not feeling well." I lie.

"Anything coming back to you?" JJ asks.

"She remembered my nickname." Spencer says before I can speak.

"No, no it just kind of happened, I didn't really remember anything." I shake my head.

"We have a case," Hotch says from the walkway. "Sarah, you can go home if you'd like."

"Could I just come along? See if anything clicks." I ask.

"Yeah, that would be great." Hotch agrees.

I follow him into the conference room, sitting in my normal seat.

He explains a case, but I don't really pay attention. I don't really want this life, I want to go back to law school, I want Connor.

But I don't want to leave everyone. Because they are trying so hard to help me remember, but the truth is, I don't want to remember.

They figured out the case, but not without Spencer and I fighting almost the entire time.

I bought a new apartment on the low, not telling anyone. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. 

I finished packing my bags and was about to leave when his keys jingled in the door and his bag dropped beside the door.

"Hey," he smiles before his eyes fall to my bag. "Where ya going?"

"Oh uh, about that, I got an apartment downtown," I said awkwardly. "I'm moving out."

"What?" he asks. "You haven't even remember anything."

"I don't want to remember anything!" I snapped, putting my hand on my forehead to try to calm down. "I don't. I don't know who I am, I don't know who you are, I don't know how I got these damn bruises. I don't know how to do this job and I don't know how to love you."

I picked up my bag and started to walk past him. He grabbed my arm, making me stop. He looked into my eyes, but I didn't see sadness, I saw anger.

He let go, not looking at me.

I took the key off my key chain and set it on the table. 

I opened the door and closed it behind me.

"Goodbye, Spencer."