Long Live (Edmund Pevensie Fanfic)

Mary Sues Are Stupidly Annoying

Could I just say how I didn't think I wrote this awful a month ago? No, seriously, I wrote this a month -or was it two?- ago and I didn't re-read it or anything. Then, boom-- I read this awful awful, terribly awful chapter-- Let's be honest and say whole story, then gahh... words can't describe how awful of a character Julie is. And how awful this fanfic have become. The story is too stupid. The writings stupid. The character is stupid.

I really hate fanfics now. If the main OC dies; the whole story ends. Then, yeah, Julie needs to die.

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Taking a deep slumber in the cabin, Julie jolted awake after someone banged on the door. Presumably a minotaur. She feigned iimpervious to the strong and loud knocks.

"The highness requests the presence of the lady!" he shouted through the door.

She flipped back and forth to the annoyingly soft mattress. Julie honestly preferred couches to sleep in, even though the space is unbearable, everything was enough to fit her body.

When she had enough of the loud ruckus the minotaur was displaying, she shouted "The lady requests the highness to just get on with his life!". She knew Lucy wouldn't let a minotaur to just simply destroy the door subtly, she would request to meet her face to face, if it wasn't enough that they share the same damned room.

"Your highness --" he was cut off by another voice.

"Get your butt out of that mattress, you douche of a gold digger!" It was Edmunds voice.

Julie had enough of his remarks about money, even though it was only a day before. But that nightfall was used for most of the insults, mostly by him and Eustace, even though they haven't actually agreed at anything. Though the douche part was uncalled for. Maybe it was because of what she did with flicking her finger on his forehead, but Julie would never know.

"Shut the bloody hell up, you unoriginal mind drizzler! Eustace was the first on that, and he was first! Make your own bloody insults!"

Her thin white shirt was rippling wind to her pallid skin as she felt a burning sensation while it passes. Something clicked on a corner. It must have been someone unlatching the lock, she thought. But who could do that from the outside? There was only one key and it hung from a random pole somewhere around the ship.

Someone apparently in rage flew right in the room with heavy footsteps.

Julie groaned, flopped to the side facing the wall and yelled "You're gonna destroy the floorboards! Walk normally, could you?"

"I can, but I won't."

A bolting pain immediately clung onto her as she froze and screamed. She couldn't move, a huge numbness took over. Quite surreptitiously, she started shaking violently but involuntarily while her breathing became stuffed. Once she had regained little control of her arms, she immediately brought it closer. Footsteps echoed loudly as they moved from wood to wood. A couple of foot entered the house

"Your majesty, what have you done!?" squeaked an oarsmen, immediately running to Julie.

Edmund lifted a bucket and smirked. The oarsman, named Ben, shook his head at him and continued fussing over the shaking girl.

"Your highness, you are aware that the temperature is lower than ave rage today, aren't you?" said another oarsman.

"Oh, poor dear!" yelled an exasperated Lucy from the doorway as people parted ways for her.

She immediately snatched a neatly folded towel and draped it around Julie's visible shoulder. Her shirt was equally drenched and see through as the mattress and she did not enjoy any bit of it.

Julie stood up, though still quivering at the coldness and glared hard at Edmund. Most of the oarsmen left, taking a look back and resuming their works.

"You vile scum licker! Just because you're the so called king of this-- this- this place doesn't mean you can come barging in and out of anything! Eccentric fool!


"Who on the bloody right mind needed me anyway?!" she continued, looking through the crowd.

"I did," said Caspian, emerging from the crowd and staring at her "I thought a new sight might amuse you, but since Your Highness here foiled it," he said, looking at Edmund "I think it is not necessary anymore,"

"Oh... Is that so?" replied Julie, looking at the window, huffing her cheeks "Can you show me?"

"Are you sure you don't want to rest after this soaked event?" He intended to make a dumb and pretty obvious pun, but when Julie glared, he smiled sheepishly and stared at the floor.

"No, I assure you, I'd rather get sick and make that king of yours get a non existent conscience than to take a pitiful rest. In a cold lonely room. During a sleepless evening. Yeah, you get the point."

He lifted his arms, took it in a position as if slumping it in someones shoulder and tilted his head at the door. Julie lifted her lips in the corners, revealing her teeth and chuckled. She stepped forward and Caspian lifted his arms further until she assumed a position beside him and placed it on her actual shoulders.

"I feel like singing and skipping at the same time," giggled Julie.

"Why don't you?"

"I don't sing." She replied pointedly.

"Why not? No one has a horrible voice," said Caspian.

"Oh believe me, I do." shuddered Julie, shaking her head at the door, indicating him to continue on whatever he wanted to show her.

They shuffled their footings back and forth until Caspian started humming a tune. It seemed rather familiar to Julie's unfamiliar mind and the unsaid words were at the tip of her sore tongue. She immediately stopped in her tracks and stared at him.

"What were you humming? It seemed familiar,"

"It's a tune about what happened to the ancient King Cor's kidnapping after his mere birth,"

"Enlighten me, is there any words to that? You have told me it's a retelling of 'King Cor's' accident," she made air quotation marks "there must simply be wordings."

Born to Lune, Lost to full moon
Scared they were, Oldest he was
Thy lion paddled, thy fisherman carried
Phony he treated the prince, though dark he is not

"Alright, is that really a song? It seems more likely a poem and half of it doesn't even rhyme! Could you just tell me the whole story?"

And so Caspian did tell her the adventurous tales of The Horse and His Boy.

"Prince Corin? He knocked out the king many times?" asked Julie incredulously, "He seems unnervingly daring,"

"He was, they said. Other Narnians were more accurate to the tale,"

"He still seems mesmerizing to me," she replied, dreamily.

"Mesmerizing?" chuckled Caspian "It looks like your hormones are raging. Pick someone your age," he ruffled her hair.

"I believe I was born in the wrong era," she stuck her tongue out.

"Or you would have met him when you came here the first time we did," said Edmund behind them, who was crossing his arms around his chest like a child pouting "though it would not have been nice since you were my age, and I became an adult by the time he was a teenager,"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, sire," she mocked and waved her hand when she said the last word.

"Caspian can we continue now?" she continued, raising her eyebrows.

They continued walking to his other quarters and unlatched the lock.

"How do you find Prince Corin mesmerizing?"

"His braveness and daringness though I think his chivalry and respect would have added his charm,"

"There is the place I think you yearn for,"

She edged closer and closer to the telescope until she can actually look upon it.

"An island? Oh please do tell that we're less than ten days apart from it!" she pleaded.

"We do not have days, but your reason is legitimate,"

"Why did you think I found it interesting, anyway?-- To which I did find interesting," she added, hastily.

"You have been obviously babbling about how you didn't enjoy-- anything, and those two were getting on your nerves, since they are everywhere,"

"Ha! I wish you were my brother, rather than that drop-out of a useless one I have. Adding the fact that you're king," she grinned.

"I'm flattered? But somehow, I feel used with your last words,"

"Eh-- I'm using everyone for my own good, anyway. No need to feel disappointed."

"How can you be perfectly like that, Julie? You seem to always act selfishly why everyone," Julie raised her eyebrows "alright-- almost everyone try to give you happiness,"

"Hey, I was just being honest. Plus, if you really wanted to know, you have to live in my point of view, which is never gonna happen,"

"I don't think like a girl,"

"'I don't think like a girl'" she mocked "Well, I don't either,"

"What really is your problem? Don't beat around the bush,"

"Attention."

She slumped on the nearby cushioned chair and lifted her hands around her head as she took everything around the room. Caspian became disgruntled adn gestured to her wet stature and 'attention' problems.

"Look, this thing will dry off -- somehow. And I don't need any of your attention."

"Then why did you tell me you had problems with attention?"

"It's complicated,"

"How so?"

"Honestly, promise me, you won't laugh," she pleaded.

"I solemnly swear not to laugh, chuckle and, and-- and giggle," Julie in turn giggled.

"In my surroundings, most girls are pampered, taken care off and, well, bratty. I want to be like them,"

"You want to be bratty?" interrupted Caspian.

"Getting to the point here! As I said, I want to be like them. I want my hair to be plaited by mum. I want to have family time from dad, and not instinctively get away from his annoying presence. I want to feel comfortable with them. I want to tell all my problems and discuss them with my mother, but I have a feeling she doesn't want to. I can feel her talking about me behind her back, and I don't want to feel it. I can hear her criticizing me behind my back, I want it to stop.

I want them to notice me more than my ignorant brother. I want to live like a kid again. 

When I was two or three days old, my mother and father sent me off to live with my aunts and grandfather. Don't get them wrong, it's just two or three cities away. And by the time I entered pre-school, the teachers handed us out three or more large books in the middle of the semester. Mum and dad wasn't there to provide me with the rightful baggage, so my aunt -the disabled one- gave me a spare plastic bag to bring" -- and it wasn't the fancy one, it was the one you get at local malls in current times, with two holes as handles, only hers was dirtier--. "Oh, it was awful. Every children around me had their mum or dad bring them personally to school and they had bags! Tailored ones too!"

Tears pricked Julie's eyes as she remembered her childish, yet undescribable past. She couldn't put it into words but she remembered everything clearly. It was childish, she confesses, but the memories break her hearts. She never lived like a normal kid with a happy family. She understood what adults were whispering about, even if she wasn't meant to.

"Oh, I must stop. I know you won't understand what I'm rambling on about anyway. This vest irks me with the dampness and I think I will be satisfied once I change."

She can't handle anything anymore. She started tearing up on the way to the cabin. But she was lucky no one saw her. She hated her parents, and she knew it.

What big part did they give Julie in her life? They were never inspirations to her. What are the things they seem to notice that she was alive? Terrible marks. Whenever she had only two mistakes in a big test or exam, they shrugged it off and dismissed her by saying they were proud. But once she fails, a full on lecture was received.

But her brother did drop-out of academics. What did he get for punishment? An expensive carriage to woo poor beggar-ish ladies. Why would they give him an item to give him pleasure, while she, having high and low recognition at the same time, receives only lectures and small conversations?

Their thoughts on her were simply biased and unfair. How ignorant and stupid can they be?

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I love insults. But I appreciate the victorian or historical ones. You can go like "You putrid simpleton!".I think the best ones are Tara Gilesbie's ones, though. I loved the part where Dumbledore cursed when he found Draco and Enoby/Ebony doing 'it'. Then 'Vampire' (I feel sorry for Harry, Ron only got it lightly while Hermione-- or let's say Bloody Mary Granger... epic.) Potter was emo and was it bi? His bloodshot eyes! What the hell... O.o

I need to have a list of her insults.

Hermione isn't a Granger Danger if you don't:

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