I'm Gonna Love You

Chapter Three

Castiel was a procrastinator. He wouldn't lie about that. It was one of the features that led him to get terrible grades. He was now hunched over four pages of homework he had put off until the night before the due date. Halfway through the second page, he almost had a heart attack. The cause was his ringtone, it was screaming. He didn't know why he set it to that during his grungey emo phase, but never changed it. Procrastinating would be his end.
He picked the phone up and slid the icon to answer. It was, of course, Dean. His mind was fraught with a bit of worry, but mostly confusion. Why was Dean calling him at 2AM?
"Dean?" He answered shakily.
"Hey Cassie." Dean said into the phone, his voice thick with sleep. Cas put the phone on speaker, and went back to his homework.
"What's up buttercup?" Cas said into the phone, only half joking.
"I, uh, its two am. Why are you awake?" Dean slurred the middle of the last word, before catching himself.
"Dean." Castiel furrowed his brows, and leaned over to the phone, as if it would help.
"Ya?"
"Are you drunk?"
"Uhm, Whaaaa... Noooo, Pffff!"
"Dean."
"Okay yea I'm drunk. Why does it really matter."
"Why are you drunk?" Cas dropped the pencil and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Because Lisa." Wow, Dean wasn't gonna beat around the bush.
"Well, is Sam awake?"
"Uhh, no."
"I'm coming over." Castiel decided. He heard a noise of protest but cut it short with a tap of the red button.
~~
Castiel had some bad paranoia. Walking two streets down in the dark was hard. He had to snap his head back a few times a minute, and then check his surroundings for anyone watching him. The streetlights shone eerily around him as he paced quickly to the familiar house. Dean's house. He only had been over a few times, but it was Dean's house, how could he forget?
He trailed his hand along the wooden rail that lead him up the stairs, almost tripping twice. He didn't bother to knock.
The house smelled like Dean, Sam, axe, and cinnamon candles. Cas pinched his nose as he crept to a room in the very back of the hallway, the light was on. He walked in to find Dean playing on his phone. He only noticed him when Cas sat down.
"Oh, heya Cassie." Dean slurred, sitting the phone on his bed beside him.
"Dean, where did you even get this?" Cas glanced to the empty vodka bottle on the carpeted floor.
"M' dad. Used to be an alcoholic. Not no more, but I found some bottles."
"Dean, alcohol caused the problem. Don't cause another." Castiel said, and Dean looked strangely like an upset toddler, his ears ready to burst into steam like a small train.
"Shuddup Cassie." Dean pulled his knees up to his chest.
"Dean, you're not going to drink your feelings like this. You're not the only one with an ex alcoholic da- legal guardian." Castiel moved up to Dean. Dean paused.
"I know Cassie, its just real hard." Dean responded.
"Yeah, Deanie Weenie, I know it is." Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, who started to cry a little. Dean never cried.
"I didn't even know, about me and meg, it ain't my fault, but it is Cassie. What am I gonna do? She's gonna leave me Cassie, I love 'er." Dean had wrapped his now seemingly frail arms around Castiel, speaking into his shirt.
Castiel felt a pang of an unknown feeling in his heart. His stomach dropped and rose, and his face went red hot. "You, uh, you love her, right?"
"Yeah, a 'course I do." Dean mumbled hopelessly.
"Then if she loved you she'll forgive you, you were drunk, Dean." Castiel reminded him.
"I guess you're right." Dean sighed, and left the comfort of Castiel's arms. Cas sat up.
"I'm gonna go make some food." Cas reported.
Dean started to argue, but he ended it when he felt a growling in his stomach.
Cas rose, and went to the kitchen. It was relatively clean, just like the whole house. The only clean room had been Sam's, whom he had taken the liberty of spying on. Cas pulled open the fridge and the freezer. He didn't find anything but a box of corndogs.
He almost jumped out of his skin when a warm hand reached out of the darkness of the hallway and touched his shoulder.
"Castiel?" Came the sleepy voice.
It was Sam. "Thank god. You scared the crap out of me!" Cas half exclaimed. "Want a corndog?"
Sam cocked an eyebrow, before mumbling a sleepy yes, and trudging off to his room.
~~
When the corndogs were done, he reached for them with a washcloth, and dunked them into two bowls. He brought the first one to Sam, who mumbled something about how he shouldn't be up at three AM. Cas had poured a generous amount of ketchup in the bottom, and was now dunking the tip of his corndog in it as he entered Dean's room. He seemed to have stopped sobbing, just tucking in his knees and letting tears flow.
"Hey, I got corndogs." Cas said quietly.
Dean didn't reply, just unfolded himself and took a corndog. He didn't bother with ketchup and ate it in a few bites. He didn't speak.
"Dean? You're scaring me man, talk." Cas sat the bowl down, and touched a hand to Dean's thigh gently to calm him down.
"I just..." Dean started, and didn't finish.
"Yeah, I get it." Cas replied in a bittersweet tone.
Dean smiled weakly. "I'm gonna be alright, I think I can sleep this off."
Cas bit his bottom lip. "Don't go to school tomorrow, its gonna be a rough hangover." Cas suggested.
"Dude, I'm gonna be okay, have me a Bloody Mary, I hear they help." Dean paused, and looked around, "You wanna stay?" He chewed his lip.
"Oh, uh, sure, of course." Cas replied. "I have to text Gabe though." He put on a small smile, whipping out his phone and typing a message.
'Sorry Gabe, I'm at Dean's, its three am, yeah, I know, but it was important. Love you bro. Bye'
He reread the text, before sending it.
Cas climbed into the bed with Dean. His stomach did that flippy thing. Dean turned his lamp off and tugged the lamp over the two. Dean fell asleep as soon as he hit the pillow. It wasn't so easy for Cas. He struggled for a while with keeping his eyes shut. He concentrated on the deep, steady breathing of his friend.
~~
Cas didn't wake up when he planned to. He woke up at 5 PM with Dean tucked into the sheets with him. He glanced around for a moment before slowly recalling the events of the previous night. He rubbed his eyes and sat up. He sleepily shook Dean. Dean didn't wake up.
So, instead, he got up. His phone was blinking.
' Alrighty '
'Hey Cassie where you at bro'
'CASTIEL YOU DIDN'T SKIP SCHOOL DID YOU???'
'Cas I swear please don't be sleeping with the Winchester '
Cas flushed.
'I was up until like three, I fell asleep and I didn't get up in time, and for the last time, I AM NOT GAY!' He typed. He stuffed the phone down in frustration. Dean shifted next to him. He flushed. God dammit.
~~
Early October, 2013
~~
Castiel never thought about the way Dean acted. He never thought about it until it reached the night hours of late four AM. He never wished for Dean like this. He never did until now, until he was a nervous wreck from unknown terrors of the world. He wanted Dean. Dean. Dean was always there for him. It was too late into the night for him though. He never wished for another guy to hold him while he cried. He never wanted to know what his friends lips tasted like.
In the Winchester household, Dean groggily watched a YouTube video. Lisa was gone, but he was learning fast to live without her. He ached in his stomach, wanting to fill the voice the rough breakup had left. He only had loved th-two people before. Cassidy -she's from season one- was hard, but he forgot that pain, and now it was back twice as strong. He desperately needed to have companionship. He turned the phone off. Dean felt a few tears leak, pressing his face into the pillow he was holding in place of a person.
//okay so its not quite crippling yet but it gets a tad bit sad