I'm Gonna Love You

Chapter Eight

Gabriel and Chuck returned at eight in the morning. The day was off from school, even though it was a Thursday. For Gabriel and others, it was a great time. For Castiel, however, it was pure agony. He could barely walk, and was sore as hell, but it didn't keep him from doing his duties. He powered through the day.
Around six, his phone buzzed from somewhere in his bed. He was hardly on it, no one but Dean ever texted him. What was unusual, was it was a number he didn't recognize. When he picked it up, the noise was a little static, and the end was quiet.
"Hello?" Cas called.
"Oh, just checking that it was you." A familiar voice responded through the light static. "I'm at Jo and Ellen's diner. They, apparently, have a payphone." Dean explained.
"Okay, but why are you calling me?" Cas asked.
"Because," he paused, "because, Cas, this is the only way I can talk to you in the daytime."
"That's sweet, Dean, but I'm sure there are other ways."
"I love you."
Cas flushed. "I love you, too, you idiot."
"Hey!" Dean called in defense.
"Dean, Dean no I was using sarcasm." Castiel explained.
"Cas, baby, I know. You take things too literal."
"I know, Dean."
"Anyways, I'm gonna pick you up around seven."
"Dean, I have to ask."
"Castiel."
Cas made a noise of protest. "I know."
"I love you, see you around seven."
"Love you too."
"Okay bye."
"Bye."
A beep signaled the end of their call, and it left Castiel blushing madly, smiling at his phone, but he then shuddered when he thought about asking. He hasn't ever been good with asking for things.
He walked cautiously into Chuck's doorway.
"Hey dad?"
"Oh, hey Cas." Chuck responded.
"Can I go out tonight around, like, seven?"
"With who?"
Cas faltered. "Some friends."
"So with Dean? Or Charlie?" Chuck asked slyly.
"Dean." Castiel tensed up.
"I'm gonna use my context clues, and assume his dad doesn't know." Chuck guessed.
"I dont think so, no." Castiel replied
"Sounds lit. Do it."
"Dad, no dad, you're not cool."
"Its a meme."
"Goodbye."
Castiel was left laughing, and it helped him ignore the throbbing sensation in his ass.
He slid his blue jacket on over his clothes, and grabbed his phone, along with spare change that amounted to about five bucks. He rushed down the stairs and sat down in the kitchen. Only a few minutes later he heard his back door creak open. He snapped around to meet Dean.
"Hey babe."
"I'm coming."
Cas walked out of the back door, where Dean grabbed his hand with his own and walked with him down the road, hand in hand. Castiel wasn't used to this public display, but Dean seemed confident and cool about it, so he did too. He huddled next to his boyfriend in the cold weather.
"What do you think about camping, Cassie?" Dean asked as they turned the corner out of their neighborhood.
"Camping is," he paused. "Fun."
Dean smiled and clutched squeezed Cas's hand and lead him down the road. Waiting around another corner was the Impala. Windows frosted over, and cold to the touch due to the freezing weather, with a thinner blanket of snow draped along the ground. Dean paced to the door, and unlocked the passenger's side.
"M'lady?" He gestured for him to sit. Castiel obliged, and was shortly seated beside Dean in the passenger seat of the impala.
"Love you, baby." Dean assured Castiel.
"What's up?" Castiel asked suddenly.
"What do you mean baby?" Dean asked in return.
"You're all of a sudden affectionate, Dean. I know something is wrong."
"No, Cassie. Its just that even if I'm having a bad day, I just love seeing you. You're my baby, I love you." Dean was positively beaming.
Cas flushed. "Dean, oh god." He buried his hands in his face. "You are sweeter than I could ever deserve."
"No, baby. You deserve more than I could ever give you." Dean was trying to keep his eyes on the road.
"Dean, you know so little about me. I know you love me, and you know I love you unconditionally, I think I always will, but I dont know if you could handle the things I could tell you about myself."
"Then tell me." Dean decided, pulling into a parking lot. He got out, Castiel following. They shared a moment of eye contact for a moment, before Dean pulled Cas past a few lots, and to one with a red camper. Lot 79, complete with a grill and a picnic table.
Castiel eyed the lot curiously while Dean unlocked the door to the camper. Castiel climbed in after in, and almost bumped his head on the ceiling.
"Dean, why are we in a camper?"
"Because, Cas, I wanted to cuddle with you in a place that didn't have adults breathing down your neck." Dean took a few steps to the end of the camper, leading to a bed with a very small TV set, a tape player built into it. He leaned over while Castiel shed his jacket and climbed into the small space, forced to be very up close and personal with Dean. Eventually, they settled into a position that was like a hug, legs intertwined, and arms wrapped around each other, the two hands sitting between them uncomfortably were locked together, and their foreheads were pressed together in bliss.
"Wanna just talk? No one knows I'm out here but Sammy, and no one else cares. Jo and me are cool, now, so you can talk about things you didn't want to out there." Dean offered.
"Dean, are you sure?"
"Yes, of course."
Castiel's ocean pools met Dean's clovers.
"Ugh," Castiel shifted a little, "I always have known Gabriel, ever since we were little always called him my brother." Cas trailed off a little. "When I was seven or so I just stopped being interested in things. When I was around ten I found out i had depression." He bit his lip, and winced in anticipation of Dean's reaction.
"You," Dean paused, " have depression?"
Castiel looked down, signalling to Dean that tat wasn't a good thing to say.
"Baby, no. I love you, but you seem happy with me." Dean stopped talking, and lowered his voice, "baby, you didn't ever..." He looked down to Cas's wrist.
Castiel tried to stay calm. "And then, walking home from my old school one day, my front door was open and I heard screaming. I went in and I was thinking that my Dad had gotten angry and screamed at my mom, but I went in and my mom was bleeding and there was," his voice cracked and wavered, "there was glass everywhere, and my dad had broken the back door window and then he broke something and my mom fell on the glass and cut her cheek and then they just slept in separate rooms and she acted like nothing happened, and he woke me up and he-" Castiel caught himself, choked up. Tears streamed down his face," he did such horrible things to me, Dean. I never told anyone. I never feel clean anymore, Dean. I feel like I have to peel off where he touched me because when I scrub so hard I get burn marks on my skin it still feels like I'm disgusting- " he choked up, and broke.
Dean felt him quaking in his arms, and soon heard noises close to sobs as Castiel pressed his face into dean's chest. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel protectively.
"Shhhh, baby. I got you. No one can hurt you. Please baby, I love you baby." Dean kept telling him, whispering in his ears.
"You made me feel good again, Dean." Castiel shakily spoke, barely audible. "I felt like when you touched me instead it washed it away, Dean." He semi clawed at Dean's shirt. "When we aren't together I still feel like I'm dirty. I'm so glad that you're with me now, Dean. I feel like I'm finally okay."
"Castiel Novak, I am never going to leave you unless I die. I might be a teenager and people will tell me I'm stupid but I promise I won't lose you, you won't lose me. I can't even think of what I would do without you." Dean held him tighter in his embrace.
"Oh god, Dean, I love you so much." Castiel clutched his boyfriend.
"You're a treasure no man should own." Dean chucked lightly into his ears.
"You're too good to be true." Castiel said in a haze.
"I'm not the best either. Drinking problems since I was fourteen. Mom died. Abusive dad, yeah, I'm totally perfect." Dean rolled his eyes a bit.
"Dean, you are perfect. " Castiel pressed a kiss to Dean's cheek. "Give me a hundred dollars i don't care what its been used to buy, or if there's writing on it, because it's worth a hundred dollars. You're worth more than money could buy, Dean." Castiel yawned, stretching a bit on the comfortable mattress. He rested his tearstained head in the crook of dean's neck, and drifted off to sleep.
He woke up when his phone was ringing violently. He untangled himself from Dean, and sat up, answering the phone.
"Hello?"
"Cassie?" It was Gabriel's voice.
"Gabriel, is something wrong?" Cas asked.
"Yeah, it's midnight and we still don't know where you went and if you're alive or anything." Gabriel partially exclaimed.
"I'm with Dean, sorry," he wiped his eyes that were clouded with sleep, "we talked about our feelings and then we took a nap." He yawned. "I'll be home in a bit. Sorry for not saying where I went, bye." Castiel could have swore that Gabe had tried to make him not hang up, but he ended it anyways.
He turned to the sleeping boy beside him, and laid back down, careful to not fall back asleep.
"Dean." Castiel said softly. "Dean, baby, wake up," dean stirred.
"Cas?" His eyes fluttered open gently.
"There you are." Castiel pressed a kiss to the lips of his boy.
"Why are we up baby?" Dean sleepily made a grab for his boyfriend's hands.
"Gabriel woke me up calling to see where I was. You have to take me home now." He squeezed Dean's hands.
"M'kay." Dean sat up, dragging his hand along the bed, and yawning.
Castiel put on the blue jacket that laid on the floor, and handed Dean the jacket he wore over every outfit. They left the camper, clambering and half awake, into the impala.
Dean kept a hand on Castiel's thigh the entire drive, ignoring Castiel muttering that they were going to die. He pulled into the driveway, and opened Castiel's door for him.
"You're home." Dean stated the obvious.
"I know, Dean." He mocked.
Dean gave him a hug, and then planted a gentle kiss to Castiel's lips. Castiel delved into the kiss. Dean held him, and gentle eased them apart.
"I'm gonna tell my dad." Dean said, suddenly full of determination. "He has to know."
Castiel chewed his lip. "Is that really a good idea? Your dad cut contact with me for being gay, I dont know what he would do with you." Castiel eased.
"The bitch can kick me out, I don't care. He isn't there for me or Sam, he never is. He doesn't even know my birthday anymore." Dean looked down.
"January twenty-fourth, 1979." Castiel looked at him with wide eyes.
"I only ever told you once, how did you remember?" Dean smiled.
"I couldn't ever forget about you, not even a single detail." Castiel admitted.
He leaned in and stole one last, brief kiss from Dean, before departing ways, with hope in his eyes.
"I love you, Dean."
"Love you too." They beamed with hope.