I'm Gonna Love You

Chapter Ten

Castiel took a fragile step forward. Dean can't be hurt. Dean can't be... dead? Castiel took another bound past Lisa and past a doctor who tried to tell him no one was allowed in the room. Sam followed close behind. Dean was unconscious for a moment. Then awake. He flickered in and out of reality. 

"Dean?" Castiel extended a hand weakly out. His eyes swelled with tears. He twirled around to face the doctors. "What happened?" Worry thickened his throat.

"The contusion was more severe than we first thought." A female nurse piped up nervously. "A-and the flow of blood to his brain tissue where the bruise formed was cut off when he moved in his sleep. the contusion is just smaller blood vessels being split open by force but a larger blood vessel also seems to have been cut off. He should be okay." She spoke very quickly, frightened. Probably because two young men around the height area of 6' were both clenching their jaws and fists, staring at her.

"Does he have to undergo surgery?" Sam asked, voice shaking, and sounding very volatile.

"We have to repair the large vessel that popped, but the rest should be able to heal on it's own if nothing else happens to him." The doctor answered. "Just don't let him sleep for too long at a time." The doctor glanced at Dean, who was looking at the two boys, looking confused. 

He uttered one confused, and utterly horrible syllable. "Who..? "

Castiel felt a pang in his heart. Maybe a heart string tore. A tear slipped down his face. And another. Another. Another.

"For now all we know is no one should be disrupting us for Dean's sake. For now he's going to be stuck in a minimally responsive state, and he wont be able to respond to you, so it's no use." The doctor stepped aside from the door, dragging the nurse with him, as another nurse was on the other side of the door.

Castiel nodded, and wiped his tears, before walking out. Very calmly, very cooly, he walked out. He walked out of the sitting room, out of the front lobby, and out of the front doors. He walked out of the parking lot, and then he ran. He ran down roads, and past farms. 

He accelerated back through his memories. He ran past the bus that he met Dean on, and paced alongside the impala when Dean gave him a ride to school. He saw himself creeping to a drunken Dean's room late at night. He passed the trucks holding the hayride's supplies, with Dean sitting on the back. 

He ran far past that place, and into a thick wood. No one would find him. He ran away from himself, losing physical feeling when the rain started to pelt his back like icy daggers pinning him down to the ground- down to reality. The feeling in his feet went first. Then his fingers, and hand. His legs. He didn't stop running until he tripped over a stump, flying over.

He landed against the ground with a thud. Who the fuck decided to put a stump on the trail? Only he wasn't on the pathway he tried to follow, and may have run off of it long ago. He was drenched in water, and the winter's cold bit at him harshly. He curled up, crawling to a cluster of trees, and pulling himself between them as if they would give him shelter from the cold as they did from the rain. He would barely fit.

He panted. Physical exertion was not really his forte. he felt a hole gaping in his chest, like he had  hole in his heart, or his lungs, or both,  and he couldn't breath and he wasn't sure if he felt his heart anymore. He didn't think that he could deal with this shit. They were finally happy together, but John had to ruin it. John couldn't have a queer. John was a fucking dick, and Castiel could think of a few ways to kill him, and he wished he could.

He missed Dean. He felt tears rush out of his eyes and fall onto the ground from his thinking of him, the warm and fuzzy feeling replaced with sadness and doubt, mixed together with fear. Dean was the only thing on his mind when the rain stopped, and the first thing on his mind when he inched through the woods on a foot he couldn't feel.

He saw the rain pick up again, and limped up to the edge of the woods, wiping his eyes, and cupping around them, and his heart crushing the crust of earth when he saw what it was. An RV camp. Dean's was staring him in the face. He ran even though he thought his legs would break. He ran inside and peeled his wet, dirty clothes off like a layer of second skin. His phone rang from the floor. 

"Gabriel?" Castiel was shaking from cold, and shaking from emotional trauma.
"No, it's Sam."
Castiel covered the mic and sighed. "Yes, Sam?" 
"You just ran out, and Gabriel left his phone here, but Chuck said you weren't at home, and no one can find you."
"I don't wanna be found." Castiel choked out.
"Cas come on I'm sure when Dean comes to he would want to see him."
"I can't be with him." Castiel's voice shook.
"Castiel." Sam asserted authoritatively. "Dean is in love with you, and you're in love with him, too, I know you two are facing some things right now but-"
"God dammit, Sam!" Castiel shook, "John hurt him, because of me, Sam, because he loved me!"
"Castiel, just tell me where you've went or we're calling the police."
"Sam I'll come to my house but I wont tell you where I am."
"Bullshit you're telling me where you're at."
Castiel hung up. 

'I'll come home when I'm fucking ready to go home, Sam, but I can't right now because I'll hurt someone.' He typed.

'You come to my house and I'm going to make sure I know where you are and so does Dean.' Came the reply. Cas scoffed and tossed his phone back carelessly. He was standing in his damp boxers and his socks were discarded, soaked. He paced to the bed, and hitting his nose was the smell of axe. Blue axe. Dean wore that. He paused, before turning to a cabinet near the bed, opening it, and finding Dean's clothes. 

It didn't feel odd to slip into a red flannel that was just a dab too large, not even buttoning it, and grabbing a pair of faded grey sweatpants that Dean had worn once or twice. He got a jacket out. He knew it was stupid and pointless, but he tossed himself into the bed, and clutched Dean's jacket for dear life.

He fell asleep like that.