I'm Gonna Love You

Chapter Fourteen

Months pass.

~

"Get the fuck up, man." A voice shook him awake, and Castiel opened his eyes sleepily, body very much like lead. Who would be here in his room? It didn't sound like anyone he would be able to comprehend being here. His eyes snapped open finally, when he recognized that voice. 

"Charlie?" He shook off the sleep like a wet dog.
"Yeah, It's me, and you need to get your stuff." 
"Charlie, I can't do that." Castiel's voice was thick with sleep.
"Well you're going to. Dean's here, too." Charlie got off of him long enough for him to pick up a stray shirt from the floor and drape it on his thinning frame.  Charlie took notice. "Been dieting?" 
"All they have here is healthy food, and I can't have coffee." Cas explained, looking for shoes he didn't need socks for.
"Yeah, well, grab your shit. Jo's at the window." Charlie opened his drawers, and had somehow gotten to get his bag off of the corner of the bed. She started putting as much as possible in, not even flinching at the boxers that had bananas on them, just uttering a, "Bet Dean has some of these."

Castiel was too tired to know if this was a dream, so he just ripped the clothes in the closet down and stuffed them in. He paused.

"How did you get in? We're rich. We have an amazing security system."
"Remember that time I let you play that rpg I 'found'?" 
"Yeah?" 
"I hacked that, and your security system was way easier." 
"That's assuring."

He opened the window, and sure enough, Jo was below, next to a red pickup truck that he knew none other than the Winchesters would be driving. He threw the bag down to her. Charlie was the one that went down first, showing him how to get down, and then he realized what was really going on. He was going home. He slung his legs around the window sill. He almost got down, when he fell from the last two feet up. It isn't easy to climb on two windows with three feet between them, and he would have made it, but his leg swung the feet down and do did the rest of him. 

He heard a car door shut, and footsteps. From the side of the car that Castiel could not see, Dean Winchester emerged. The glint in his eyes was back, and he looked down at him. Then, he changed in an instant. He was happy. Castiel felt the thing his biological parents had been trying to drill out of him. He felt the swell of his heart, and the plummet of his stomach. Dean almost tackled Castiel, be Cas just barely could hold him. Dean hang on to him like his life depended on it. He wasn't completely sure, but he thought he almost felt Dean's knees buckle.

Dean pulled away far enough to look him straight in the eyes.

"You left us, Cas." 
"But I'm coming back now. Novaks be damned." Castiel had no clue where his certainty had come from. 

A door slammed. Castiel turned enough to see his father, fists clenched, storming to them. He grabbed Dean's arm and hopped into the bed of the truck with strength he didn't know he had, and Sam slid over to let the girls in the front. The old engine sputtered and died for a moment, and Castiel's father could've made it to the car, to Castiel. His eyes looked black and cold, and he knew he'd only seen this expression once before. 

Dean kicked him square in the fucking face. The engine came to life with Dean still nearly hanging out of the truck, pulling up the tailgate. He turned back to Cas,  who was visibly shaking.

The sound of a broken muffler drowned out everything going on. Castiel called to Dean, who was just getting up to him. "How much do you remember."  His eyes were not the normal ocean expanse of blue. They were frosty, iced. Dull and Afraid.

Dean climbed up to Castiel, a hand placed on the side of the truck, and the rest of him hovering over Castiel. He looked into his eyes,"I can't remember the name of my seventh grade teacher. I can't remember who half of my relatives are. I can't remember how to fucking drive, Cas, but never forget what you told me, Baby. Trust me, I could never forget anything about you." 

Castiel pulled him down with unexpected forced as the truck entered the highway. Oh god, how they missed it. Castiel missed seeing Dean. He missed the feeling of his lips. He missed the comforting warmth that Dean carried around wherever he went. He missed the way Dean cupped his hands around his face, pulling him ever closer. And Dean missed all the same things.

Dean missed when they would watch movies. Dean missed when Castiel would sleep over, and his slender frame would wrap around his own, and all was right. He missed when Castiel would hold his hand over the blankets when he was almost asleep. He missed the way he would hold his hand under the table when they would go out to eat. He missed when he would bite off too much pie and have to chew with his mouth open. He missed how he smelled. He missed his voice. He didn't remember a lot, but it was enough.

He wrapped his arms around Castiel, tight, and afraid to let go. Castiel returned the gesture.

"Dean?" 
"Yes, baby?"
"I let you go, and I am so sorry, but now that I have you, I'm never letting you go again."
"I won't let go of you either, Cas." 
"Dean?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you. I'm always gonna love you."

END