When I heard what you did,
I dropped my phone.
The screen cracked slightly.
Just like my heart.
But I could still hear from the speakers,
Your mother crying,
Your father grabbing his keys,
And your little sibling whimpering.
When I heard what you did,
I didn't cry.
I didn't do anything at all.
I just stood there,
As all of my memories of us
Played in my head.
From when I first met you,
To when I last said goodbye.
When I heard what you did,
I wondered why.
Why didn't I save you.
Why didn't anyone save you.
Why did you have to hurt?
Why did you have to feel this?
Why did you have to end a life?
Your own.
When I heard what you did,
I didn't want to know how.
If you used a rope,
I didn't want to see you hang.
If you used a knife,
I didn't want to see your cuts.
If you used a gun,
I didn't want to see your eyes.
Wide with terror.
Wide with fear.
I didn't want to see you so weak.
I knew you would never want me to.
But mainly,
I didn't want to see you...
....because I was afraid of what I saw
Those tears in your eyes faded.
The ink from the pen was smeared on your hand.
The note was neither crumpled nor folded.
It was left behind.
Just like you felt.
But did you ever think,
The pain you felt
Would carry on to us too?
Your parents had to plan your funeral.
Your sibling had to find you dead.
How do you think they felt?
Their sibling, their hero or their nuisance,
Gone.
Forever.
No more bedtime stories,
Or long car rides.
Just them,
You,
And a piece of paper with your handwriting on it.
Your mom now goes to therapy.
Your dad is now a drunk.
Your sibling followed your footsteps.
And everyone became so far.
Your friends?
They died.
They all followed after you too.
Your bullies?
They cried.
They never thought that you would do that.
Everyone
Lost
Themselves ....
...and you led them
So...
..when I heard what you did,
I was so sorry I wasn't there.
I was so sorry you couldn't come to me.
I was so sorry I couldn't hug you,
Or tell you it'd be okay.
Because it never really is.
But humans lie to each other for comfort,
And I would do it to.
If it meant you staying,
And if it meant that never happened.
But you can't
Undo
The
Things
Done
By
Your
Mind
---Message to anyone out there with depression. Trust me guys, it gets better. And if you think you aren't strong,
You're strong enough to be alive right now.
Remember that.
Keep fighting.
Keep moving.
Because one day you'll be stronger
And maybe someday you can save someone who is just like you.
I don't know you, but I love you.
Stay strong deadlies.
-Sydney--
