Ok, so this is technically a letter to my future self, but at the same time, it's not.
My entire life so far has been 'what am I going to be'. That's all. What am I going to do when I'm older and have a job and house and kids and all that.
I finally figured it out.
I want to be the wife who is always understanding.
I want to come back and say I'm sorry after an argument and be able to get past it.
I want to be the one who is enough for whoever I marry. I want to be able to love them so much I will be unable to love anything else.
I want to be the one who, even after a long day at work or whatever I do, I can come home and laugh with my spouse at the mess we made of dinner in the kitchen, or the joke they heard at work.
I want to be the mother that always stands up for her kids, but raises them so eventually I won't have to do that.
I want my kids to know how to take care of themselves.
I want to always be able to tuck them in goodnight, even when they don't want me to anymore.
I want to be the mother where my kid's friends love to come over.
I want to be the mother who can write fun little stories or make cool things with my kids.
I want to help them with homework and school projects.
I want to be the mom who's there.
I want to be the person who you know not to mess with.
I want to be able to be myself without caring.
I want to have a long, happy life with a family that I love.
I want to be that person who never gives up.
I want to be that adult who stills dresses like a teenager, but is completely capable of being an adult.
I want to be the adult joking around at stores, going the wrong way on escalators and doing harmless pranks.
I want to be a musician.
I want to be that person who knows what to do in any situation.
I want to live.
But for now, I'll settle with what I have.
I'm going to get my friends through depression.
I'm going to pass all my classes.
I'm going to keep playing music.
I'm going to keep making smart-ass comments and sassy remarks, because it's funny as hell.
I'm going to watch my cousin(and best friend) kylie become an amazing person.
I'm going to help my cousin ned grow up.
I'm going to watch my little sister grow up, and become more than the little girl she is now.
So, you know what? I don't need to grow up. Not right now. I have plenty right here.
Hey life. Throw something new. I dare you.
-Sydney
