My M8s

Moon Goddess? WTF

My daddy was dead, i wanted to be dead, but i can't die because I'm a rare purple werewolf. There was a knowck on my door and I opened it. I forgot to pull up my pants, but that didn't matter.

"Kyle? Kyle? And Kyle? Did I hit that bong too hard earlier?" I asked the last part to myself when I saw multiple Kyles in front of me.

"Hello, mate. We smelled blood, so we came... Were you having sex with someone else?" One of the Kyles asked and all of the others perked up, their eyes the size of paltes.

"No! I may be a hoe, but I'm not your mate. And even if I was banging someone else, it wouldn't be your business!" I screamed at them before I turned and slammed my door. Men. I wish I never helped Kyle nut. He's like a hydra. You nut him one time and he sprouts like five hundred other heads all wanting the same thing. I didn't need this. I could get better dick elsewhere. I went up to my room. It smelled like death, but I was used to it. This wasn't my first time smelling death, given my life's motto.

"Kylie! I'm h-oh my gosh! What the hell?! Kylie! Why did you try to renovate the house?! Red is such an ugly ass color!" Phered screamed from downstairs. I rolled my eyes and got off my bed. I went downstairs and saw Phered gaping at the red color.

"Chill, Phered. It's just blood. I'm not that stupid," I scoffed and he exhaled.

"Oh, that's good. For a minute there, you had me worried."

"Yeah, I know, right?" I laughed and he laughed with me. "Anyways, someone killed Steve. I could only find hi stump legs."

"Cool! Free feet!" Phered rushed past me and I chased him up the stairs. He picked up one of the legs and threw one to me.

"I challenge thee to a duel!" He yelled before swinging the leg at me. I laughed and swung the leg at him. We battled it out, hitting each other with the legs. It's a good thing I was wearing white, the blood wouldn't stain my clothes.

After about an hour of leg dueling, the doorbell rang. We threw the legs in the bathtub and ran downstairs. I answered the door.

"Hey, baby!" Steve was home. I smiled at him and we went into the living room.

"Oh my gosh! Did you guys try to renovate the house while I was gone?" He cried out as he looked at the red as if it pained him.

"No, Daddy, that's just blood," I replied with a smile.

"Oh yeah! The neighbor next door wanted to borrow some sugar last month but never gave it back, so I killed him! I totally forgot!" Steve exclaimed.

"What about the moon goddess thing?" I asked, suddenly remembering the thing I had forgotten.

"Oh yeah, you're room needed decorating! Besides, i wanted to remind you! You're a moon goddess!"

"I'm a wot?"

"A moon goddess!" He replied before he took a bite of his spaghetti. Mom sat down across from me at the table with a plate of spaghetti.

"Honey, ur very important. You pair everyone up! Once every five million years, the moon goddess walks the earth so she can remember what it's like to love. Last generation was pretty bad. You kinda messed up all of the pairings because you kinda forgot how to love," my mom laughed as she took another bite of her salad.

"Yeah, okay. But do you know how hard it is to pair up a bunch of ingrateful little shits? They deserved each other!" I retorted as I ate my pizza.

"Okay, but Barack Obama and Joe Biden?" My mom countered and I was morally offended.

"They were literally my best work! I mean, have you seen how Joe looks at Barack's head? That is some intense love. You try being moon goddess! It sucks!" I complained and I swallowed a bite of chinese.

There was a knock on the door and I stood from the table. "Y'all need to chill."

I answered the door and I saw one... two... three... seven... Nineteen? No... I need to work on my counting. There was Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle. That was multiple Kyles.

"Hey, babe," They all said in unison.

"You will address me as your highness, your superior, your ruler, or even queen," I demanded to them and they all rolled their eyes. Then, a pair of hands grabbed me and everything went too dark for me to hear.

I was jostled around before I was thrown in a car and I felt warm bodies press around me.

Was I being kidnapped? I couldn't be kidnapped! I was a rare purple wolf! I got out of the car and went inside. I wasn't doing that. I locked the door and went up to my room. I locked my window and went to sleep. Moon goddess? Hell yeah I was.

I tried to sleep, but it was too dark. I had my lamp on, but after I had looked at the sun earlier today, nothing was bright enough. And it was cold. I pulled my blankets up around me. The smell of death that covered them comforted me. I loved the smell of death in the black of the night. Nothing except dick excited me more. I could go for some nice dick right around now. It was dark and cold and a nice dick would warm me right up. Or maybe some tequilla. I got out of bed and went downstairs. Everyone had gone to bed. I got into the fridge and found a half drank bottle of Jack Daniels. It's not tequilla, but it'll have to do. I downed the bottle all at once. My gag reflex was long gone after I sucked all of those dicks. It went down smoothly. I threw the bottle out the window and heard it shatter. It wasn't good dick, but it did warm me up inside. I'm always cold because I have no heart. I'm a stone cold, hard hearted bitch. I'm a wonderful human being and everyone loves me. I went upstairs and inhaled the wonderful scent of rotting corpse. i've never craved dick more. Something about decomposer just turns me on to no end. I laid down on my bed, wishing I could get laid. I so badly wanted Kyle's dick. That's when I remembered. There was eight of them. I made it my life's goal to take eight dicks at once, without asking for money. It was my only fantasy now.