My M8s

Chapter 13

I didn't say anything, I just fell to my knees and swallowed his dîck.
"What the heck? Kylie? You just killed me like two days ago!"
I cheeked it and I looked up him. "Ya, but you're here now? And you have a dick, so what's the deal?"
"That's not even mine! It's your dad's!"
"Steve!"
"Not your daddy's. I may have exacted my revenge on Kyle..."
"WHAT?"
"He stole my penile stump!"
"So? Kyle's dick was my favorite!"
"Then why'd he steal mine?"
"I stole your because..." Kyle said as he walked up, blood dripping down his pants. "No one fucks my girlfriend."
I ran to him in a picnic. "Kyle! Your dick?!"
"Excuse me? I just saved you!"
"No, your dick."
"Fine, I'll let him eat your bones. Eat shit and die."
"No, your penis!"
"Oh, right. It's okay. I had a spare."
He reached into his bowels and pulled a dick out of his spleen. Oh wait, that is his spleen. Why? He ripped his spleen in half and a dick fell out.
"Good thing I have a spare spleen!" He shoved his hand into his chest cavity and tore out his heart, but before he could rip it in half, I took a bite of it. I always wanted to taste his heart. It was kinda salty, not unlike his dîck. Inside was a spleen.
"I don't understand why my spleen regenerates. It's pretty useless in the first place."
"Kyle! You okay?" Kial ran up behind him and Kyle flinched.
"Ooh, you made my heart stop."
I rolled eyes so hard they fell out of my skole. I picked them up and put them back in my head. My nipples felt like skittles. They looked like tick tacks. I think Kyle noticed. He at my nipple. It's a good thing I'm a rare purple wherewolf. My nipples are like hydras. Jk. I am the original hydra.
"No you're not."
"What?"
"What?"
"Oh, I just thought you said something."
"Who? Me?"
"Yeah."
"No."
"Oh, okay."
"Okay."
"Your heart isn't even in your chest," I complained.
Kyle laughed. "Oh, yeah! I totally forgot. Huh. Isn't that too crazy?"
"Oh, yeah! Totally!"
"Huh! It's like we're the same person!"
"I know!"
I pulled out Graham's rotting dick from my growler. The flesh was rotted and falling off.
"My dick! Thank you so-"
I ate it in front of Grahm. It was delicious. I'm part crocodile. So I like rotted flesh. I'm so special. Like. Wow. I'm super important. The world would explode if I didn't exist. I'm the sun of this earth. I'm atlas. I hold the world up. I'm literally so important. I'm even more important than Karina. Like, literally. I'm hot shit. The hottest shit. Because I'm the sun. I'm also a star. Not a rockstar. But like. A literal giant mass of gas. That's why I fuck so much. My hair is made of kerosine. So I'm always on fire. Like Kyles dîck. Birds of a feather, fuck together. That's why there's no pink Sean's. I'm a bad bitch.
"You need to chill. You're so pretentious!" Kyle complained, interrupting my self love. Maybe I started masturbating a little bit, but that's okay. Self love.
"M8, you can't do that in public!" Kyle yelled at me and I took my hand out my pants. Everyone in this restaurant is a hoe "M8 you can't do that is public!" Kyle yelled at me and I took my hand out of my pants.
"You wanna fight? Let's fight. Right now. (I do not claim ownership of the speech)
Hold your ground! Hold your ground!
Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers,
I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.
A day may come when the courage of men fails,
when we forsake our friends
and break all bonds of fellowship,
but it is not this day.
An hour of wolves and shattered shields,
when the age of men comes crashing down,
but it is not this day!
This day we fight!
By all that you hold dear on this good Earth,
I bid you stand, Men of the West!"
"Isn't that from Lord of the Rings?"
"JR Tolkien was one of my daddies. He's the only one that's not on my list." I loved Lord of the Rings. I thought it was super cool how that dragon ate dumbledoor and then voldemort and Percy Jackson battled it out with light sabers. Yeah. I'm such a nerd. Lol.
"We aren't gonna fight, Kylie. I love you," Kyle said and Kial smacked the back of his head.
"That's too fast!" Kial yelled and I rolled my eyes.
"But I love your dick!"
"That doesn't count!"
"It counts for something."
"It's not enough. We're more than dîcks, Kylie. We need you to love all of us-"
"Even that mole on your ass?"
Kial blushed and gestured for Kyle to continue.
"Yes. We love you for you! You need to love us. We need you to love us!" Kyle yelled and I rolled my eyes.
"I don't want love. I want dick! Don't you understand anything? How can you even be my m8? You don't understand me all! I want sex without meaning! No one can love me! Don't you get that?"
"Are ya playing your love games?"
I screamed so hard my skull split in half. Then I passed out.