Change my mind

Catching up

Dean couldn't believe what just happened. He knew it couldn't be a coincidence. Before they left, he picked up Cas' purse and gave it back to him. Together with Mary they walked downstairs and sat down at the dining table. "Do you want to drink something, Castiel?" Mom asked politely. "No thank you, Mrs. Winchester." He smiled awkwardly. "Call me Mary." She smiled at him, sitting down next to us. Dean's eyes scanned Castiel. He tried to figure him out. He wanted to figure out what has been going on in his mind. "What's wrong?" Cas asked and ripped Dean out of his stare. "You're just so.. so different." Dean explained which caused Cas to smirk. "Should I be sitting in front of you with the clothes of a 7 year old? We're teenagers Dean, sure I changed." His smirk now formed to a soft smile. A sigh escaped Dean's lips. It was weird having Cas around you. It was weird knowing that this was him. Dean felt a little downcast but nodded. "I know. I'm sorry." Dean faced his hand he rested on the table. "Hey, light up the mood. There's no reason to be sad." Mary tried to lighten the mood up. That's what Dean loved about his mother. She always tried to do the best out of bad situations. "How have you been Castiel? Are you in love? How is your family?" Mary now asked him. At least she knew how to open up conversations.
"Despite being in therapy for a few years, I've been good. School is going well so far and there is nothing big I could complain about. 8 months ago my baby twins were born. Besides that Balthazar, Anna and Gabriel are fine. Mom and Dad are currently on a business trip and our neighbour is watching out for the baby twins when we're at school. But besides that we're doing fine. Since there are at least three adult like people in our household we can manage everything. And I've got a girlfriend called Hannah. We've been together for four months now. What about you, Dean?" Castiel looked straight at Dean. He had this thing in his glance that Dean couldn't describe. Did Cas have to ask him that? Dean knew he couldn't just tell Cas he was gay. He would probably hate him and that was not what Dean needed right now. He just got his old best friend back and he didn't want to lose him again.

"As you might now, we just moved here so I haven't had any social contact yet except from school. Besides that I also don't have a long distance relationship, in case you're wondering. There wasn't someone special in sight yet." Dean explained staring right into Castiel's ocean blue eyes. To Dean it seemed like they were lighter earlier today. "And since Dean doesn't have a huge amount of people that would fit, it's harder for him to find someone." Dean knew exactly what his mother was going to say and he prayed she wouldn't. "What do you mean?" Castiel now faced Mary. Dean could tell he was holding back a grin. "He likes guys. And finding someone who has the same sexuality isn't that easy, huh Dean?" Mary smiled at Dean. At this moment he wished he could disappear. "Thanks mom." Dean almost hissed and ran up to his room. He didn't want to face Castiel right now. "Dean!" He hear his mother yell after him.

Dean sat down onto his bed and rested his head in his hands. Everything he wanted, was to disappear. A quiet know came from the door and it opened afterwards. It was his mother. Castiel probably would've just walked in right away. She sat down next to him and put her arm around Dean. "I'm sorry, sweetie." She said and her voice was filled with worry. "I didn't know you didn't want to tell him." She explained. "It's fine mom. Can't rewind time and change it anyways. I just didn't want to tell him cause I'm afraid I'd lose him. I'm afraid he would hate me. I just got Cas back and what if he's homophobic? What if he will tell everyone in school and everyone hates me." Dean sobbed.
"He is your best friend Dean. If he hates you for your sexuality, he is seriously stupid. What happened to my non-caring Dean?" Mary asked.
"I don't even know what we are! Mom. I just met him the first time after ten years. He was in therapy because of me, Mom. I didn't even write him letters I didn't even contact him in any way. I wish I did better, I wish I would be a better friend but I suck as a friend and now he has all the reasons to hate me. It's just the thing that we're staying here. We aren't here for only four weeks or something. It's important what I'm doing with my life here." Now Dean faced his mother with tears running down his face. Dean couldn't remember the last time he really cried. It has been a long time ago. Probably when John came home being drunk and hit his mother, his brother and him. They all called it an accident but Dean never believed in that. That night he heard his mother cry and comfort his little brother. It broke him into pieces. That was a year ago. And now Castiel is back in his life and he is on an emotional rollercoaster. Mary gently pressed her thumbs onto Dean's cheeks and wiped away his tears. "Don't cry. You're strong. Everything will be going to be okay. I promise." She smiled and kissed Dean's forehead. Dean only nodded and tried to calm down. His mother mostly knew what to say when he was feeling down and he really loved her for that. She was always there when he needed her. He was glad he had his mother.
"I'll leave you alone now. Come back down any time you want." She gives him a warm smile and leaves his room. Dean laid down onto his bed and closed his eyes to relax. Just a few moments later someone walked in again. It had to be Castiel. He felt the weigh change when someone sat onto his bed. Dean opened his eyes to see Cas sitting there, smiling at him. He didn't want to be sort of unfriendly so Dean sat up. "Do you really think I would hate you for being gay?" Cas smiled. It was a new expression. It was a lovely smile. Dean faced the ground cause he couldn't just look at Castiel. "Sort of." Dean admitted. He then felt a hand on his shoulder.
"I'd never hate you for that. It would be stupid. I'm bisexual." Castiel explained. Relief filled Dean's body and he breathed out loudly. "And you don't have to worry about your sexuality in school. Well mostly. Being a jock and gay could get hard though. But there are a few people at school being homosexual or bisexual or anything else. Normally people let people live there." Castiel tried to sound as convincing as he could but always failed again. "Doesn't sound that good I think?" Dean now finally managed to look at Cas.
"You will find out soon. And to our relationship. I think being at least friend would be the fairest. I don't know if I'm ready for the best friend step yet cause damn, I don't even know you it has been ten years but who knows, only time can tell." Cas smiled. "Thank you." Dean whispered. He didn't know what else to say. Everything went better than he expected it to be and it was great. A tight hug ripped him out of his short thoughts. With a smile on his face he returned Cas' hug and it felt great. "Let's go to your mother again." Castiel suggested and pulled Dean up, while getting up himself.

They were talking and laughing as if they weren't separated for such a long time. Everything went well until the main door opened.
"I'm home."The sound of John's voice rung out. He came straight into the dining room and gave Mary a kiss. "Who's this?" He asked sceptically nodding towards Castiel.
"That's Castiel." Dean tried to sound as nice as he could.
"Castiel?" John raised his eyebrow. For sure he didn't remember him.
"My childhood best friend you just ripped me apart from." Dean couldn't hold it back anymore and hissed at his father.
"Ah, that kid. Sad what kids these days turn out." He pointed out clearly attacking him being a punk. John also never liked that Sam pierced his face. In his mind he should be a nice young boy, interested in all kind of economy, politics and everything to get a great job when he was grown up. "Anyways I don't have any time for bothering with you, Dean. I'm exhausted and I'll take a shower and head to bed. You know what happens when anyone of you wakes me up." Were John's last words before he left the room. Castiel raised his eyebrow and gave Dean a questioning glance. "She just doesn't leave him, I gotta live with him." Dean exclaimed obviously trying to make his father hear him. "I told you a lot of times that I love your dad and couldn't just leave him." Mary explained rubbing Dean's shoulder.
"Whatever." Dean sighed and looked at Castiel who just decided to keep quiet. Mary decided to prepare dinner so Castiel and Dean were left talking and catching up about things.
"Anna called, she needs us at home." Gabriel said when he and Sam entered the room. Both, Cas and Dean faced them. "Alright." Cas only replied.
"I'll drive you home." Dean stood up even before Cas. He noticed Sam raising his eyebrow cause clearly Dean didn't seem that polite before. "You don't have to." Castiel also got up.
"I want to." Was the last thing Dean said before he took his keys and walked straight to the impala, driving them home.