Wintercearig (A Lawlorff fanfiction)

Chapter 11

a/n before I start: look how tiny Sam is during his social media/apps in real life^^^:,(

··|Sam's POV|··

"You guys come back as soon as possible, okay?" Mama says, hugging us as tight as she can.

"Yeah, Andrea and I plan on coming down for Thanksgiving." Kian gleams at his mother. I take a miniscule step away from the pair.

They don't want you here. They wish you were her.

"Gosh, I love that girl.. She's so perfect for you." Mama says patting Kian's shoulder.

Even Mama thinks she's better than you. Andrea's perfect for Kian. You're no where near.

"Sam, speaking of Thanksgiving, are you coming down too?" Mama turns and asks me, snapping me out of the nightmarish thoughts.

"Oh, um.." I start to think. Do I really wanna intrude? Its not like I'll ever be a Lawley.. And all of that food? I'll double my weight. "I don't think so.. I have other plans?" I lie through my teeth. "Thanks for the offer though, Miss Lawley. I really appreciate your generosity." I give a small fake smile and I see looks of confusion and disappointment cross the mother-son faces. I start to offer a small sorry before Miss Lawley interrupts me.

"Sam, you know that you're always welcome here, right? Our house is your house and you are a part of this family. Seriously, come over for the holiday. And call me Mama" She urges me but I just can't. I can't third wheel both Kiandrea and the Lawley family; it wouldn't be fair.

"I'm sorry, Miss Lawley." I say almost silently.

"No, don-" She starts but I'm already walking toward the back passenger door of Kian's Ford Focus. I feel a few tears run down my face as I close my door.

Such a fucking disappointment. They want Andrea. Not some fucked up boy with rosy cheeks. You were so fucking rude. All she wanted to do was care for you and you treated her like trash. Why don't you just throw yourself off a cliff you fag-

My thoughts are stopped by the drivers door opening and slamming. Kian. I open mouth to apologize but his harsh tone beats me to it.

"I can't believe you, Sam. Mom was being perfectly polite and kind and you treat her like that.. that's pathetic. She's never been anything but nice to you. She loves you like you're her own son.. and she misses you! Why can't you fucking see that?! Its not all about you, Sam! Stop being so selfish already!" Kian basically screams and thrashes his fists toward the steering wheel cover. "God, why can't you just be a decent human being for once.." He mutters and I don't think he wanted me to hear it.. oh.

"I'm sorry." I try to say but it comes out in a few little squeaks due to my previous sobs.

"No, its uh. Its okay. I really shouldn't have said those things.. Fuck.. I just got really angry, I should be sorry." He says quietly and rests his head on the wheel.

"No, its okay. You're right." I pause thinking back yo the statements. "I deserve it." I say quietly and I hear him sigh.

Probably in relief that you finally realized how bad of a person you are. How pathetic you have become.

··|Kian's POV|··

We arrive at the o2l house and I turn off the car, wanting to be inside to the warmer temps as soon as possible. Its like 10° right now. I glance to the back and see Sam's tiny, sleeping body curled into his chest, cheeks still tear stained. I can't help but feel guilty. I caused those.. I'm the reasons he's upset. A shiver runs through him in his slumber.