the first time i saw you ↬ emison

; nineteen

emily's pov

i stand in front of ali's door with chocolates and roses in my hand. hanna is behind the bushes, wanting to see her reaction.

"just hurry up and knock!" hanna whisper yells.

"wait!"

"ugh," she says.

i take in and deep breath and sigh. i think about what might happen. she'll be happy? i'm guessing. my heart is pounding, and  i got butterflies.

"are you ready now?" hanna asks annoyed, interrupting my thoughts.

i sigh and knock on the door. after, a couple of seconds, the door opens and reveals alison.

she looks at the chocolate and roses. "hey, em. what is this?" she asks, referring to the chocolates and roses. i hear hanna lightly giggle.

"uhmm, uh, i was wondering. if you, uh, you'd wanna go on a, on a date. with me," i said, offering a pathetic smile.

alison's eyes widen so big, that i thought they were gonna pop out of her head. then she gasps and starts to look around.

before, i know it, she's pulling me into the house. before, i go in i hear hanna mutter "what the hell?"

alison shuts the door and i'm left inside the house with ali, while hanna is outside behind the bushes. probably getting poked my thorns.

"what the hell, emily?" ali asks, surprising me.

"w-what?"

"you can't just do that!"

"do what?"

"what you just did!"

"i just asked you out!" i say, slightly frustrated.

"well, you can't do that in public." i look down and bite my lip. trying, to figure out what to say.

"plus, i can't go on a date with you. people can't know that you like me."

my heart feels as if someone just stabbed it with a steak. i breath a little heavily. people can't know. is she ashamed of me? and she also said that i like her. but, she never mentioned her liking me. hm. does she even like me?

my face shows all my emotions. my sadness, as my eyes start to water. my nervousness, as i bite my lip and pinch my wrist.

alison sees these signs and sighs. "thanks, em. for the roses and the chocolate," she says taking them from me and laying them on the coffee table.

she hugs me tightly and then pulls back, to where we are holding hands. looking at each other, right in the eyes.

"i'm sorry, em," she says smiling, as a tear starts to drip from her eye.

oh no. what is she about to say?

"we can't be what you want us to."

my heart shatters into a million pieces, and i could almost hear them collapse on the floor. there's a constant beating in my chest and my head feels heavy.

i feel tears start to fill in my eyes. i should've known. ali was just playing me. i refuse to show weakness, and i keep my eyes open. trying to prevent the tears. but i couldn't. i look down and close my eyes as my tears start to slowly waterfall.

looking up at ali i see she has a blank face. emotionless. i quickly wipe my tears.

"i think you should leave, emily," alison says. she never calls me emily.

i don't argue, knowing that i wouldn't win. i walk over to the door without picking my head up and exit.

i look for hanna behind the bushes. but, she isn't there. i look around ali's front yard but she isn't there. but, then i hear rap music. the music leads to my car. which contains a singing hanna, blasting the radio at full volume.

"hanna!" i yell through the window.

sbe doesn't answer, she's just still singing.

i huff and enter the car and the first thing i do is turn down the radio and look

"oh. you're here. what took you so long? di she say yes?"

i look up and reveal my red, puffy eyes and stuffed nose.

"oh my god, em!" she says, touching my cheek. "what happened?"

i don't answer and sob into her shoulder.

"it's okay, babe. shh, it's okay," she says while rubbing my back.

"sh-she said no! that we no one can know th-that -(hiccup) - i like her.''

"em, i'm so so sorry."

i sob more and more, snotting on her sweater.

"she doesn't like me! she hates me!"

"em...she doesn't hate you," i hear hanna say. "just calm down."

i start to slow down my breathing. i lay my head on her chest.

"where's the roses?" she suddenly asks.

"she has them."

"that bitch turns you down, and keeps the roses?" she asks, as i lightly laugh.

"yeah, i guess."

"wow. classy," she smiles.

i cuddle into her sweater. "i'm tired."

"ok. you can sleep on my for a while." hanna laughs.

"thanks, han. for you know..being here for me."

"no problem. that's what friends are for."

alison's pov

i feel terrible about what just happened. i slam my bedroom door and start to sob into my pillow. i cry for a few minutes. until, i hear music.

i look at my front yard from my bedroom window. i see emily going in her car, with somebody else in the driver's seat.

i look closer and see that it's hanna. what the hell is she doing here? emily and her start to talk but emily's head is facing down. when, she picks uo her head, hanna looks surprised. emily ends up crying into hanna's shoulder. my heart breaks as i remind myself that she's crying because of me. its my fault.

"it's okay, babe. shh, it's okay," i hear hanna say. babe?! i curl my hand in a fist. emily starts crying about what i just did to her, every word hurts. only if she knew, that it hurt me as much, if not more, as it hurt her.

suddenly, em starts to slow down. hanna and her start talking again. then, em lays her head on hanna's chest. jealousy starts rushing down on me. that should be me not her.

that bitch, hanna, has no idea what's planned for her tomorrow.

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