the first time i saw you ↬ emison

;twenty

alison's pov

i stare at emily blankly, trying to tell her.

"what do you want to tell me?" emily asks, furrowing her brow.

"umm," i say, pinching my skin. i suddenly feel my self get tomato red.

"are you okay?" she asks.

"yeah, yeah. it's just, um, that i wanted to..tell you, that, uh i-i,"
my throat starts choke up and i'm having trouble pronouncing the words. but i have to tell her, let me just get it over with.

"i love you, not just as a friend, but something more than that. i know i pushed you bu-but it was because...i didn't really want to believe myself. that i liked you, because your, well, a girl. but, truth is, i've had these feelings for a long time. the first time i laid eyes on you, i knew there was something special, and different about you. and Emily, i love you and not just like a friend, but like romantically."

emily was left shocked. she turned tomato red and haven't once looked at me in the eye. i knew this look. she was hiding something from me.

"please say something," i plead.

she bites her lip and sighs. "alison," she starts.
i nod.

"um. i haven't really told anyone this. but, uh, i um, i-i. i've been dating a girl."

my heart drops and i couldn't control the tears that started to water in my eyes.

"please don't cry," emily says touching my thigh.

"how could i not? you're dating someone else," i mumble.

"alison. i didn't know you liked me..like that. i had to move on at some point."

"bu-but i really did love you..like that."

"i didn't know," she mutters.

i don't know what to say. i knew telling her would be a bad idea, we were just left in my room with the awkward silence between us.

"i do love you, like that. you know that, right?" emily asks.

"i did. i don't know if i know now."

"ali, i love you."

"then why are you still with your girlfriend? why don't you give me a chance?"

"it's not that easy. i can't just ditch her because i want to date you."

"why did you go with her in the first place?" i ask, curiously.

"because she we nice-"

"you don't just date someone 'cause they're nice."

"well she was all that i had- besides hanna, since you turned my friends against me," she snaps.

"em, i'm sorry." i say looking deep into her eyes. "do you still like paige?"

emily looks down and starts to pick at her nail.

"i-i don't know," she mutters. "i don't think so. but at the end of the day, she was there when you weren't."

"just break up with her!"

" no, i don't have a reason too."

"ugh,"

i look at her and idea pops in my head.

"can i show you something?

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