I Hate You . . . I Think

Whipped and Proud

Hey guys! Sorry this has taken so long to put up. This has been an awful week and on top of it I was sick, so I really apologize. Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading my story. I really appreciate it. So the song that I picked for this chapter is Starlight by Muse. I think it completely describes the way Seth is feeling at this point in the story. Please read, vote, comment, and recommend! Thank you guys so much! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Chapter 28: Whipped and Proud

Seth

I am exhausted.

      My burning eyes stare up at the  ceiling of my bedroom. They are open, but not really functioning. My body feels like collapsing from exhaustion, so now here I am. Lying on my bed because I screwed up with my girlfriend after being a complete dick.

I have not been able to sleep at all this past week. Every time I try, I keep seeing Low’s face and how mad she was after what I did to her. Every time I close my eyes, she is there.

My mom keeps asking me what is wrong, but I won’t answer her. Jason won’t stop bugging me to tell him, but I can’t. I can’t because whenever my mouth opens all I can think about is what I did to Low and how I deserve all of this pain. 

Tuckett keeps telling me how I am so whipped to let a girl effect me this way and I have no strength to argue with him or even deny it. The truth is, I am whipped. I know it, and so does everyone else.

I can’t believe that I told Low I loved her right after I just flirted with another girl to make her jealous. What the kind of move was that?! When I told Tuckett what happened this week, he slapped me upside my head because I told her I loved her after all the shit I did. That, plus he called me a “fucking dick with only one head.” Yeah, pretty sure he wasn’t talking about the one that’s attached to my neck because I definitely know that doesn’t exist.

She was probably thinking that I just told her that to get her back, but I really wasn’t. When she apologized for hitting me, a hit that was totally deserved by the way, all of my feelings were cemented into place. We both knew that I was the one who screwed up, but she put her feelings aside to make sure that I was okay. I think that deep down I have always had feelings for her. That is one reason why I probably gave her hell all the time. All of the stupid pranks, were my way to get her attention, I just didn’t know I was doing it.

The worst thing about telling Low that I loved her was that she didn’t say it back. I mean I didn’t really expect her too, but I was kind of hoping.

Yeah, I know. I’m a fucking idiot.

Now I’m here, staring at the dots on my ceiling, counting them until my alarm goes off seconds later. A fist knocks on my door and I can hear my mom’s voice telling me to wake up. I groan and roll out of bed when all I really want to do is stay in bed all day. 

Not really caring what I have on right now, I grab whatever is in my sight and head to the kitchen. Normally, the smell of my mom’s french toast would have me sprinting for the kitchen, but I’m so tired the only thing I can manage is a semi-fast walk. My mom is already standing by the table with a plate in her hand.

“Okay, spill. Something has to be wrong if you are five minutes late to breakfast on french toast day.”

I grumble and sit down at the table before digging into my breakfast. My mom plops down in the chair next to me and stares me down. I try to ignore her, but the woman has a smile that could make Dracula cower in fear.