Water Tower

Chapter 29

"It's been a week since the disappearance of 21 year old, Michael Clifford." I grab the remote and turn the TV off.

"Hey, turn that back on. I was watching that!" A customer yells. I grab the remote again and turn the TV back on, mumbling a 'sorry'.

"The search is still on going, but there have been no evidence of Clifford's disappearance." The news anchor says.

"Amanda, are you alright?" Judy comes behind me and asks. 

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say. Realizing there are tear rolling down my cheek.

"Come to the back, Ashley can man the counter." Judy says, nodding towards Ashley, who just started working here about a 2 weeks ago.

"Of course." Ashley says, smiling.

"Thanks Ashley." I say, following Judy towards the back.

"Now, sit and tell me how you're feeling." Judy says, grabbing a bottle of water.

"Like shit." I say, running my hands over my face. "I haven't slept ever since Michael's disappearance."

"I know you probably know why he left." Judy says.

"Yeah, it's because of me." I grab my phone out and show her the last message I have from him. "Last message was the from the night I got home from California." 

"Did he go back on them?" Judy asks.

"He only went to rehab for a week." I say, "I found out he was still on them while in California." 

"Oh. Do you still have feelings for him?" She asks.

"Yes, I've always have, but every time he does something that makes me lose his trust, it dwindles away, but it never goes away. You know what I mean?" I look up at her and see her nodding.

"I know what you mean, Mandy." She says. 

"We've all been searching for him. I leave my door unlocked just in case he comes back. I know I'll be the first person he comes to." I say. 

"I think it would be best if you took the rest of the week off." Judy says.

"I can't, I need the money Judy." I say, looking up at her.

"You need the time off. Don't worry about the money Mandy." Judy says, rubbing my back.

"Please Judy, I can't afford it." I say, shaking my head.

"No, you're taking the rest of the week off, Mandy. End of discussion." Judy says. "Now, go home and get some rest. I'll call the girls to go over and keep you company." She grabs my hands and pull me up.

"Judy." I say.

"Go. Don't worry about anything." She says. I walk out the back door and go to my car. I start my car and drive towards my apartment. Once I get there, there is a something laying in front of the door. As I walk up the stairs, I notice its a hat. 

Michael's hat.

The one he was wearing while we wear in California. I pick it up and stare at it and notice a note inside. I sit down on the top step and read the note.

Dear Amanda Lane, 
           I'm very sorry for being such a bad person. I've lied to you multiple times and you've forgiven me. I should've learned to not lie, but I did it anyways. I don't know. I think I just thought that if I did, you'd just forgive me, but I knew you'd give up sometime, but I didn't know it would be this soon. I know you've probably seen me all over the news, but I want YOU to know that I'm okay. I know how you worry. Actually , I don't know if you still worry about me or not. Anyways, you guys can stop looking for me. Yeah, I know you guys are looking for me. I want you guys to stop and go on with your lives. I caused so much shit for you guys and I don't want to cause anymore shit, and this time I mean it. I'm somewhere where I don't have to worry about fucking up anybody else's lives cause everyone here is fucked up. I just want you to know, I've always loved you. The day you fell in the mud hole to now and forever. I will never stop thinking about you even if you stop thinking about me. 
Love,
Michael

"Mandy? Why are you sitting out here?" I hear Lauren's voice.

"Are you locked out?" Kaitlyn's voice comes. I don't look up at them. I just stare and re read the letter Michael wrote.

"Mandy, are you okay?" Luke's voice is right next to me.

"What is-" Lauren starts to ask, but I cut her off by handing her the letter. She reads it out loud so Kaitlyn and Luke can know what it says. I sit there and just stare at the ground.

"So, he doesn't want us looking for him?" Luke asks. "What the fuck?"

"Amanda, you never told us what happened in California. Something had to happen." Lauren says.

"Are you okay to tell us what happened?" Kaitlyn asks.

"He never went to rehab." I say.

"What? I gave him money for it. I took him." Luke says.

"I know. He only stayed for a week and then left. The only person who knew he left was Calum." I say, still not looking up.

"That asshole. I can't believe him." He says.

"Luke, calm down." Kaitlyn says.

"No! He has lied to everyone. He told us he wanted to get better and when it gets tough, he backs out. He has always done that." Luke says, running a hand through his hair.

"It's all my fault." I say.

"No it's not." Lauren says.

"Yes it is. I gave him to many chances. He even said in the letter that that was why he kept lying. He knew I'd forgive him. He can't deal with not being forgiven. It's my fault." I say, not knowing if what I'm saying is understandable. All I can I think about is Michael being gone and never coming back.