Kavi

15. Despressed

"Scott, I'm not ready to have a baby. I don't want children right now, I'm only 23!"
Scott decided to take Kirstie to a doctor to get some tests to see if she was pregnant. The whole way there she was freaking out about kids. She wanted to have them just not at this time in her life and Scott didn't hear the end of it.
"Scott? Scott, are you listening to me?"
"Sorry, I was zoned, what did you say?"
"I said, what if Avi doesn't want a kid, or what if it's Jeremy's?"
"Kirst, you don't even know if you are pregnant yet. Just calm down, everything will be fine."
"You're right, I might not even be pregnant."
When they arrived to the hospital Kirstie stopped at the entrance.
"I can't do this."
"It's ok, I'll be right there with you. Do you want me to call Avi?"
"NO! I mean... He can't know yet, not until I find out for sure."
"Ok, well let's go."
In the little room there was a silence that made Kirstie go crazy, she didn't know what to expect and didn't know how she would react to either answer. She wanted to be happy if she was pregnant, but that would mean she would have a child at 23, in the middle of her rising career. The stress would be way to much for her. Scott sat in a chair across from the bed Kirstie was sitting on and watched her bounce her legs. A small nervous tick she had awaiting the answers. He couldn't bear to see her like this and stood by her grabbing her hand. She gave a small smile to him and looked back down at their hands.
"It'll be ok Kirstie."
5 minutes after, the doctor came back in with an unreadable face. He pulled the chair, that Scott was once sitting in, in front of Kirstie and took a breath.
"Ms. Maldonado, we got the results back from the tests and the results may shock you."
Scott spoke up.
"Is something wrong?"
"We found that Ms. Maldonado is not pregnant. She lost the baby before anything major could happen. This is rare but we see from time to time. I'm very sorry."
With that he walked out of the room leaving Kirstie to her thoughts.
I'm not pregnant... I lost the child. It's all my fault. Why me? Why does this have to happen? I hate myself, I could've prevented this.
"Kirstie, are you ok?"
She didn't move or speak. Just sat there and stared blankly at Scott.
"Come on, let's get back home."
The car ride was horrible. It gave Kirstie time to think, which is what she didn't want right now. A tear slipped down her cheek and she sniffled.
"Scott? Why did this happen to me?"
"I'm sorry Kirstie, I don't know."
Scott thought it would be a good idea to take Kirstie over to Avi's, so he pulled into his driveway and Kirstie just noticed where they were.
"Scott, I can't talk to him right now, he'll hate me."
"I promise you he won't hate you, but you need to be with him. I can come inside if you want."
"Please do."
They walked up to Avi's door and knocked. He opened fairly quickly and Kirstie let go of Scott and clung to Avi. Of course he was confused and held her looking at Scott with a confused look. Scott just shook his head and the three went inside.
"Kirstie, will you tell me what happened?"
"No... You'll hate me."
"I could never hate you, please tell me you are ok."
"I'll never be ok."
"I need to know, I want to help."
"You can't help this, it's impossible."
Avi led her over to his couch and sat her down and put his hands on her shoulders. She was looking down and refused to say anything. Avi lifted her head with his fingers and looked at her.
"Are you hurt?"
"On the inside."
"What could possibly be wrong?"
There was a long pause before she spoke again.
"I went to the doctors today."
"Ok, what did they tell you?"
"I got some tests done for.. for...."
"For what?"
"To see if I was pregnant..."
Avi wasn't expecting that and looked to Scott. He nodded and said, "You can tell him Kirstie."
"I'm not pregnant, I lost the child. I'm useless."
"Don't ever say that again, we couldn't do anything without you here Kirstie. We wouldn't be who we are today if you weren't with us. We love you."
She didn't believe what Avi was saying but she did hug him. Scott thought that it was a good time to leave and made his way out.
"I'm tired."
"Then go to bed, you can sleep in my bed if you want."
"Ok."
Since it was only 8pm, Avi let her go to bed and he stayed up. He left after he made sure she was asleep and went to go buy a few things. Kirstie however didn't sleep for very long. 15 minutes after Avi left she woke up again. She called for Avi but she didn't get an answer.
Great, he left me. He doesn't want to be with me. I knew I was worthless. Why am I even still here? Maybe everyone would be better off if I was gone.