To Believe In Promises (Tumbling Down trilogy - DM fanfic)

The Blame Game (Ch.14)

For those who got the update about an hour or so ago;

Sorry, my phone likes to glitch and post chapters while I'm working on them so I have to unpublish the chapter! Have no fear, though, I always fix it and post the next chapter as soon as possible!!

•••

I push past him and walk, walk until I reach his front door. My speed picks up when my socks get soaked through with snow. I know he's following me but I don't really care.

Getting up my porch steps is when he catches up to me.

Me: Let me go.
Tyler: No. I need to talk to you.
Me: You couldn't have talked to me earlier?

I keep fighting the hands that are pulling me away from the front door, but I succeed in getting my door open.

After doing so, I rush up the stairs and to my room. I push the door behind me, but Tyler is stronger.

In fear of getting hurt, I move out of the way of the door and he rushes in. Now I'm afraid of what he's going to say.

But...But I shouldn't be. I should be angry. But I can't be. I should be upset, but I can't be that either. I'm scared.

He promised he wouldn't leave me.

Before he gets a chance to speak, I burst out in tears.

His arms come around me and I cry into his shirt, hugging him tighter and tighter until I feel I'll pass out. Which, actually, wouldn't be so bad.

He gives me a couple of minutes to ca down, wrapped in his embrace. I know he'll let me ask questions before explaining himself.

But, my questions, as we all expected, don't come out rationally, so they sound much more accusatory than expected.

Me: W-Why? What did I do? Why are you leaving? I thought you said you'd be there with me! What am I gonna do? You can't die. You can't...

And that waterfall of tears comes again.

Tyler: I was going to talk to you when you got back. This wasn't-
Me: What about for those two hours we were just lying on your bed? What-
Tyler: Do you think this is easy for me? No matter what I did or said, one of us would've been hurt by the outcome.

He pauses, and I choose not to talk back. He knew this would hurt me. His hands are resting on my shoulders, but he moves one up to my check.

Tyler: If I don't go, I won't be doing what I need to be. If I do, you'll be just like you are now. And I expected it. And I'm sorry that I'm leaving. But I'm not leaving you.

I nod, still having many things to disagree with. But for now, I'll pull him into a hug and make him hold me tight.

His arms pull me up so he's carrying me, then he sits on the bed.

Tyler: It's only training.
Me(mumbling): For now.

He shifts us and releases a breath.

Tyler: Talk to me. What are you thinking?
Me: That you're gonna die and leave me all alone and-
Tyler: I can promise you, for the next 15 months, I will not die.
Me: What about after that, Tyler? When you go on a tour? What's gonna happen?
Tyler: Do you think I know? Kenz, I don't. Who knows what will happen. But I'm not leaving you.
Me: What happens if you die? I will not be able to handle myself if you die.
Tyler: You can't think like that. And you have lots and lots of time before you have to. I'm not dying until after you do.