To Believe In Promises (Tumbling Down trilogy - DM fanfic)

Mothers and Daughters (Ch.32)

I remember running at her and hugging her.
I remember her hugging me back and taking me home.
I remember being so so so excited to spend time with her.

And now, here I am, just staring at a picture of me and Tyler, wanting nothing more for him to come home.

Mackenzie comes back with two cups and hands one to me before sitting down.

Mackenzie: What are you up to?
Me: Not much. How's the baby doing?
Mackenzie: Just fine. Sitting on my bladder, but fine.
Me: Do you know if it's a boy or girl?
Mackenzie: No, not yet.
Me: Have you picked names?
Mackenzie: I haven't even gotten to thinking about that. I don't think Tyler has either.
Me: I think you should surprise him. Pick a name.
Mackenzie: I don't wanna pick one without him!
Me: Well, at least start thinking.

*Mackenzie's POV*

Start looking.

I guess that couldn't hurt, right?

That night, I stay up for like three hours, writing down every single name I like into a piece of notebook paper. Boy and girl names. I have like a million before I even get to the M's.

Whatever. New piece of paper. Then I can eliminate.

One of the first names I come across in the M's is mine, which I'm not surprised about, but a few more names down, I find Matthew.

The name makes me stop and think. Matthew was Tyler's Dad's name. I don't know why, but something about that makes me sit for a moment, smile, and then get up to throw my list away.

If we have a girl, I already decided I want Tyler to name her because I can't pick one for the life of me.

With that being settled, I make a mental note to talk to Tyler about name picking when he calls tomorrow. Then, I go to sleep.

~•~

Tyler: You want to pick names already?
Me: Well we don't exactly have much time, do we? He or she will be here in like 3 months! You won't even be back in time and I don't want to pick a name without you.
Tyler: Well, do you want a boy or a girl?
Me: I don't care. I looked at all the girl names and I can't pick one. It's too hard. Boy names is much easier.

For whatever reason, I back out of telling him I already have the name I want. He doesn't seem pleased with the idea of name searching anyways and I have no idea how he'll react to my decision.

Tyler: If it's a girl name it after Chloe or Paige or Maddie and if it's a boy name it after your dad. Simple.
Me: No child of mine will be named Kurt. And there's like 6 girls I could name her after, if it's a her. I can't choose one. It doesn't seem fair.
Tyler: Well shit there goes my plan. There has to be some names you like.
Me: I like like thirty names.

He rolls his eyes.

Tyler: Which names do you like? Oh and no child is getting named after me.
Me: Same. Um.... Avery?
Tyler: No.
Me: Ashlynn?
Tyler: No.
Me: Kamri?
Tyler: No.
Me: Nicole?
Tyler: No.
Me: Erica?
Tyler: Maybe.
Me: Do you like any of these names?
Tyler: I don't like them for if our child is a girl.
Me: Then you pick a name!!

I'm started to get annoyed with him, and I know it's the hormones but I can't help myself.

Tyler: Um...Hallie?
Me: Imagine trying to find her name on a key chain! We could never!
Tyler: So she needs a basic name?
Me: No daughter of mine will be some basic bitch. We have to give her a good name that isn't the weirdest thing ever.
Tyler: Okay...

I can tell he's treading lightly. As he should be.

Tyler: Kim?
Me: Ew.

We exchange names for a while longer, which just makes me more and more upset. I finally have enough when he offers up naming her after Abby. It's not a bad idea but I still don't want to.

Me: You know what? I don't even know what this baby is, nor do I want to until he or she is born. You won't even be back in time so I guess the baby will just be nameless until you get back!
Tyler: No, Mackenzie. Stop. I...

He thinks to himself for a second before speaking.

Tyler: Here's a deal: if I don't make it back in time to see the baby being born, name him or her whatever you want. But if I do make it, we can come up with a name together.
Me: What if you don't like the name?
Tyler: I promise I will love the name.

I smile at him, calming down.

Me: Okay. Deal.

~•~

The thought of naming my child goes away after our chat. I decide to stay with the Strantons even after Dad gets back in town because I'd be all alone anyways.

Life is hectic around that house, but it's not like anyone is making me do anything. I spend my days with Tori mostly, and Jessie when she comes home for a couple days.

It's the day Jessie and I get to talk alone that naming comes up again.

Jessie: Have you thought about it at all?
Me: Yeah. Me and Tyler made a stupid bet but I think it was just to get me to shut up.
Jessie: What?
Me: We'd come up with a name when he got back, if he got back in time to see the baby being born. If not, I pick the name.
Jessie: I honestly don't think Tyler cares what the name is. He's really excited to share this with you.

I look at her funny.

Me: We fucked up our entire lives. I'm excited about the baby, I guess, but I'm also terrified and regretting having sex with him.

Jessie laughs. Mary comes in the room and sits with us.

Mary: We're regretting what?

My face grows hot and I try to laugh it off.

Me: Nothing. I'm just...scared.
Jessie: You seem to be doing okay so far. You guys have an apartment already. You've  got furniture and stuff.
Me: But I don't know how to take care of a baby! I don't have diapers or enough clothes or anything yet!
Mary: You're more prepared than you think. But it also a learning experience. No matter what you read or what classes you take, nothing prepares enough than having that baby in your arms. You know your baby better than anyone else. A book or class can tell you one thing, but maybe something completely against their protocol works for your baby. That's okay. You learn as you go and you adapt to what your baby responds to. But you are the mother. They trust you more than anyone. That's a huge advantage.
Me: I'm still just so-
Mary: It's terrifying, Mackenzie. I can't tell you it won't be. It's hard. But you learn waaaaay quicker than ever thought possible.

I nod. I just wish Tyler would be back now.