To Believe In Promises (Tumbling Down trilogy - DM fanfic)

Baby Steps (Ch.22)

Tyler: Now you.

I hear him close the door behind us. If there was ever a time I could not be  nervous and my heart could not beat any faster, now would be the time.

We sit on his bed and we're both shifted towards each other.

Tyler: I gave you 72 hours. Come up with anything.
Me: Yeah.

My voice is barely above a whisper. 'Yeah' comes out as more of a squeak.

Tyler: Then what is it?

Just say it.
Just. Say it.

Me: I...I'm pregnant.

I refuse to look up.

Luckily, I get a full 90 seconds before he responds.

Tyler: How long have you known?
Me: A couple days. I didn't even know until after I was done Skyping you. I didn't want to tell you and freak you out.

I hurry to get my words out before literally collapsing into my tears. My lie on his bed and cover my face, so scared.

Tyler: Kenz-
Me: No!
Tyler: No, what? Look at me. Calm down and look at me.

Much like his sister, he scoops me up and I lie on his lap.

Tyler: It's okay.
Me: I'm not ready to have a baby. I can't do this.
Tyler: You're not doing this alone.
Me: That's not the point! The point is I can't do it!
Tyler: Why not?
Me: Are you fucking crazy? I'm not ready!
Tyler: Why aren't you ready?
Me: I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm not even 20? Because you're going to be gone for the entire pregnancy? Because I'm just flat out terrified? How many reasons do you need?
Tyler: Have you gone to the doctor yet?

I give him a look.

Me: No.
Tyler: Well last time you took a test it was wrong, so I don't-
Me: Your mom was able to tell I'm pregnant.
Tyler: How?
Me: Ask her, I don't know. I'm going to the doctor on Saturday.
Tyler: Well for now, just relax. It's gonna be fine.
Me: I still can't have a baby.
Tyler: Do you seriously believe I would let you deal with this alone?
Me: It doesn't matter. You're going to be gone! You can't just back out of the Marines very easily!

With a groan in frustration, I walk over to his window and let my head hit the frame.

Tyler: Cuz that's gonna help.
Me: I don't care!

I feel his arms around my middle.

Me: Get used to not being able to do that.
Tyler: I'm going to hug you no matter what. Get used to that.
Me: I think we'd have a problem if I wasn't already.

I feel his lips traveling down my neck.

Me: That's what got us in this disaster originally.
Tyler: Well you can't get anymore pregnant than you already are.
Me: Not funny.
Tyler: It doesn't matter what happens. I'm staying with you.

~•~

Dr.Richards: Well, you are in fact pregnant.

I look over to Tyler.

Me: Glad we have that in-depth medical expertise we've been waiting for.

Tyler returns my look.

Dr.Richards: I'm putting your due date at October 16th. I want you back here on April 2nd.

I nod, accepting the papers he hands over to me and we leave.

We go to the pharmacy so I can get my vitamins and then back to Tyler's. I've pretty much been avoiding my house all week. And I plan on keeping it that way.

Back in Tyler's room, I crawl right under his covers, not caring if Tyler follows or not. I'm tired.

But he does snuggle up next to me.

Tyler: Have you talked to any of your parents yet? Or even your sister?
Me: No. And I plan on keeping it that way. I just have to figure out how to finish the semester without people figuring out I'm pregnant.
Tyler: Well by May, you'll only be 4 months. Shouldn't be too hard. Mariah is probably gonna have to know.
Me: She already suspects.
Tyler: How do you plan on hiding this from your family?
Me: I don't know. I don't want to think about it right now.
Tyler: Well you have a couple options. Tell: Maddie, your mom, your dad, Greg, Abby, or any friends. I advise telling Maddie and your Mom, but-
Me: I don't want to tell any of those people! I don't want-
Tyler: Okay, okay. Shh. Let's do this one step at a time, okay?

I feel his hand on my hip, which instantly calms me.

Tyler: What would any of them do about it?
Me: Any of my parents would disown me. Abby would write me out of her will. My friends and sister would stop talking to me.
Tyler: Do you seriously think-
Me: Yes!
Tyler: They won't.

His arm pulls me close.

Tyler: Forget this. Let's just talk about it later.

I nod and he lets me roll onto his chest, instantly fading to sleep.

~•~

We both wake to a ringing phone. I answer without checking the caller ID.

Me: Hello?
Dad: Hey Kenzie.

Oh god. Not Dad.

Me: Hey, what's up?
Dad: Wondering why I haven't heard from you! I know you're back from school. Your mother tells me you only have been at the house three times.
Me: Well, there's a lot going on.

Might as well be vaguely honest.

Dad: Figured. Well, I was gonna come down there for tomorrow.
Me: Cool.
Dad: You okay? You sound upset.
Me: No, I just woke up. I'm fine.
Dad: Ah. Well I'll see you tomorrow.
Me: 'Kay. Love you.
Dad: Love you too. Bye.

I hang up and begin to panic, waking Tyler by hitting his shoulder.

Tyler: Woah, what what what?
Me: My dad's coming down tomorrow. He's gonna want to hang out with me!
Tyler: What's the problem?
Me: I'm pregnant! That's the problem!

I backhand his arm.

Tyler: You don't have to tell him yet.
Me: When else would they want me to tell them? I'm never gonna see my dad except for tomorrow. I leave for school Tuesday night. Over the phone is not favorable for them and I know it!
Tyler: Sucks for them. You tell them when you're ready.

I feel a tear roll off my cheek.

Me: I'm never gonna be ready.
Tyler: Don't say that.
Me: It's true! I'm not going to be a good mother! I can't do this!
Tyler: You are going to be the perfect mother, alright? What did I say two hours ago? One step at a time.

I feel him wipe my cheek and kiss my forehead. He pulls me to him and we lie down again.

He holds me as I let my stress tears flow until those are all cried out.