To Believe In Promises (Tumbling Down trilogy - DM fanfic)

Lost Dreams and Apologies (Ch.36)

*Tyler's POV*

When did both of us get so angry? She's screaming at me. I was screaming at her. She's on the verge of hysterical tears, and for what? This isn't new information. None of this is. She knew I didn't plan on being with her at all. I knew she wanted to be a hermit until graduation. We hated each other and maybe we still do.

But I love her.

Me: Calm down. You don't want your blood pressure getting any worse.
Mackenzie: What?
Me: Do you realize were yelling at each other through a computer screen? That others can hear us?
Mackenzie: What do either of us care, Tyler?
Me: I'm sorry.

Her face completely changes at that. The angry eyebrows soften, then crinkle back into confused furrows.

Mackenzie: Why?
Me: I don't want you to be upset. I upset you. A lot. Mackenzie we just had a screaming match over shit that we've talked about a million times. I know that you wanted to go be someone else. Someone not in a shadow. You know that I carry a lot of extra guilt on my shoulders.
Mackenzie: I didn't know if you actually wanted kids or not. I still don't know the answer. I don't know if you want a family. I don't know how willing you are to make this work. I don't see the things you face everyday because you hide so much.
Me: I didn't plan it. That doesn't necessarily mean it isn't a good thing.
Mackenzie: We just screamed at each other how having a plan led to our own misery. Maybe you should get back on your plan.
Me: That plan was ripped to shreds when my dad died. When you came into the picture. What about you? Who's to say you can't have what you want?
Mackenzie: I got pregnant. I can't go to college like a normal person. I can't go be on Broadway anymore. It's over, Tyler. Good try.

She offers a sad smile, and I know we both know that those dreams were ridiculous. But they were dreams. We both wanted to make it big and the world took it away. But that's what happens. It's life.

I lower my head, which makes it quiet for awhile.

Mackenzie: I'm sorry.

I look up. Her face has gone from its reddened state to its regular color, her eyes no longer rimmed with tears.

Me: Don't apologize.
Mackenzie: Fine. Just get home soon, okay?
Me: I promise.

*Mackenzie's POV*

I sign off with Tyler, wanting nothing more than to hug and kiss him. I don't want any of this drama. I just want what we use to have. It wasn't much but it was more than enough for us.

And now that I don't have him it's like I don't have anything.

I look down at my stomach, feeling the baby kick. Now that the baby is so big, it hurts, he or she has a powerful foot. Strength. That reminds me of Tyler too.

Me(whispering): I have a feeling you'll be just like your dad. Strong and stubborn. Introverted and secretive. And I'll love all of it.

I wish this baby could talk back, or I could at least know if they understand me.

~7:26AM~

Nurse: Ready to leave, Miss Ziegler?
Me: Yes. I need to go back home.
Nurse: Okay. Just remember to take it easy. The doctor is saying you do not need to be on bed rest, but if you push yourself to hard, you'll have to. You're nearly full term and this baby needs to stay healthy.

Just then, my doctor comes in, carrying the same clipboard I saw him with the day before.

Doctor: Hi, Mackenzie. I bet your nurse already told you what you need to know, but I do have other concerns.
Me: Concerns?
Doctor: Your baby is breeched. And by the time you give birth, I am unsure of whether or not your baby will flip over.

I know that a baby being breeched isn't good, but I don't know much else. Nevertheless, I begin to panic.

Me: What does that mean for me?
Doctor: If, by your next ultrasound your baby is still breeched, we'll have to schedule a C-Section.

~•~

The doctor gave me instruction on several exercises I can do to help flip the baby, but I'm still extraordinarily worried. A C-Section was not in my birth plan. I don't want an ugly scar for the rest of my life.

I can't exactly fix this, though, can I?

After I get home from the hospital, I go immediately up to Tyler's room "to get some rest", though it's mostly so I can cry in private.

•••

Short chapter but there's still more to come!