Three Whole Words Only Eight Letters Long (Sequel to LCDD)

Chapter 80

Summer's POV

The silence was suffocating. Adrian and Josh hadn't said one thing since Josh had announced that I was right in saying that Lizzie loved all three of them and apart from the few sighs that we each released every now and then nothing else happened. Lizzie was still immobile and my eyes were starting to water with the effort of staring at her for so long.

     My eyes wandered though and I blinked, dispelling the tears in my eyes as my gaze landed on Josh, who was sitting across from me, before I looked at Adrian on my left. They both seemed so sad, though I don't think sad was a strong enough emotion to describe what I could see in their eyes. Though I could see the torment in Josh's eyes, in Adrian's it was love in its purest form as well as longing and pain, deep down to his core. Just like with Lizzie, the way to determine Adrian's emotions was by looking into is eyes, and not on his face. He blinked at me, quickly turning away as he must have guessed what I was doing.

     To say my heart ached for the three of them was an understatement. I couldn't find a word good enough to describe just how painful it was to see Josh and Adrian's reactions. It was obvious they both loved her and love her they did. It would probably fit into the Guinness Book Of World Records if there were such a way to measure love. It hurt seeing them so torn about it. Lizzie's love for them, and their love for her was astounding, but then again I knew I felt the kind of love for Dan that Adrian and Josh obviously did for Lizzie. Oli I wasn't so sure of because I didn't know him as well as the others but I'm sure he still loved her. But back on to Josh and Adrian, I was sure that my love for Dan matched how they felt about Lizzie, if not there was the possibility that they loved her more- I would bet my life on that. Dan was an essential part of my life and I couldn't imagine how I would live without his love. The same could be said for Lizzie because well, she was my soul friend- if there was such a thing as a soul mate for a best friend then that would describe her. So if they felt anything remotely like that then I felt for them.

     Lizzie was leading on three great guys because she loved them all equally, though she loved them for different reasons. I suppose they had similar qualities but they had different ways of expressing these qualities and different ways in which they had touched Lizzie's heart. She always was a big softie, but after her heartbreak over Josh, she went about showing this side of her less than she used to, and not as openly. But by doing this, she was stringing them along and potentially doing some serious damage to all three of them. I stood by what I said about it being unhealthy. It was hurting all of them without them knowing the full extent, and I had a feeling that Lizzie already knew- or at least partly knew- who it was that she wanted. But she was frightened of choosing in case she lost the other two. They had all become large parts in her life in that they offered different contributions and each had a talent that helped her with something. I had no clue, I had never actually asked her what they all contributed but I did know that her heart had possibly already chosen. The who, though, was still a mystery to me.

     I sighed and watched her face again, to see that her cheek was twitching. I frowned and reached over before gently resting my fingertips against her skin. Her cheek stopped twitching but her face didn't look peaceful. She looked restless and I was scared, the only time I had ever saw her like this was when she was having her 'episodes' or so her family and myself had taken to calling them when she was younger. I had no clue why she had and still did have such horrific dreams, but whatever it was it was a part of her. But those nightmares had always scared me shitless. I'd always roomed with Lizzie when we had sleepovers when we were younger and so I was the first to wake up when she starting screaming bloody murder, shaking and crying. It was creepy. Then of course Louise was there to comfort her, but now I was taking Louise's role. I was here to look after Lizzie and I believe that was why I couldn't sleep. I hadn't done my job of protecting her very well at all over the last two years. I'd let her spiral down into a black hole at Louise's death, I'd let her get heartbroken and wasn't there to help her through it because I didn't try harder to look for her. I watched her get used by a slimebag and in doing so saw her breakdown as she lost faith in everything. In herself, in love, in hope. I was a failure and I knew it. It weighed on my subconscious. Lizzie had always been there for me and I had failed in protecting her. This was my punishment: the sleepless nights, the worry over not knowing whether she would live through another night. But I was dealing better than I thought I would, with thanks to Adrian, Josh and Dan who were my rocks.