Songs In A Minor

Chapter 33

The next few months after the trip to Rochester, things spiraled in every direction. My dad has been having problems paying the hospital bills. I’ve been trying to send him some money every chance I get, but my little hundred dollars here and there does not even begin to cover the cost. 

My dad has been seriously considering pulling the plug. It’s not something he wants to do, obviously, but it’s becoming more expensive to keep her in this state than to just pay for arrangements. 

My sister and I have been urging him to keep her alive at least until after our birthday which was coming up in April, and he seems like he’s coming around to the idea. It’s better to get used to that idea than to get used to the idea that you’ll be killing your wife, so…

Katy died back in January. She got hit by a car while crossing the street to go to her drug dealer. Out of all the things I thought she would die of: Overdose, stroke, heart attack, mostly overdose—I didn’t think she would get hit by a car. 

Jeff closed he bar after Katy’s death, and moved to Boston, as if they don’t already have enough bars up there. He thought that since the passing of Katy, the bar has been getting less and less revenue. I have no idea how when now I’m making better tips, but whatever. 

Chris has been back and forth between New York and L.A. to record his album. I used to go with him, but classes started up again, and I couldn’t go with him as much as he pleased. He’s been blowing up and I’m so happy for him.

He’s been on all the major radio stations, 106 & Park, MTV, VH1. I’ve never been so proud of him. His album will drop in a month and he’s been so hectic and I’ve been feeling a little neglected. 

I mean, I know it’s his dream, and I am in no way supposed to interfere with it, but I feel lonely when he’s out in California living it up, while I’m here with all my family, and jobless burdens. I tried to turn to Frank, but he’s been busy with Willy, and trying jumpstart his own career. He doesn’t have time for my issues.

For a while, you know after Chris found out, I stopped using. He was there more often, but now that he has his own life without me, so I kind of relapsed. It was something that would help me pass the time while I waited for people to start caring about me again. 

I sat down in the tub filled with scolding hot water. The flowers I placed in the water shifted as they got used to the new object in their water. 

I slid the tray with my coke closer to the tub and scooped the white stuff up with my pinky nail, and sniffed what was cupped in my nail. My eyelids flittered as the powder hit my system. I snorted some more and closed my eyes for a short minute. 

Chris

I got out of my cab and stepped into the warm March air. I wasn’t supposed to come back to New York until next week, but I’ve been missing my baby and I wanted to see her. I know she’s been feeling a bit lonely with everything going on recently. So, I decided to surprise her.

I paid the taxi fair and brought my bags through the dorm building. 

“Hey, Breezy, congrats on the single.” One of my old friends said. I thanked him and went into the elevators and went up to Erin’s room. 

I tried calling her cell a few times, but she didn’t answer. I walked over to her door and knocked, but I didn’t get anything. I knocked more until I was practically trying to break down the door. 

I turned the knob, just to see if maybe it’ll work. It did. I walked through her dorm. A chilling current of air engulfed my body. I dropped my bags by the front door, and went to her open room door. She wasn’t in her bed.

She’s probably in class, I thought. Which would explain why she didn’t answer my phone calls and isn’t here. 

Faintly I heard the drip dropping of a faucet. I walked into the bathroom to turn off the faucet, but was blindsided by the sight of Erin lying in a pool of water and her head slightly submerged under the water. 

I nearly slipped on the tray that lay on the floor trying to rush to her. I pulled her head above the water and tried to wake her up. “Erin,” I screamed. I slightly tapped her face to wake her up. Her head hung off to the side, and didn’t respond.

I pulled her body out of the tub and called 911. “911 what’s your emergency?” The dispatcher asked.  

“My girlfriend is passed out, and I can’t wake her up.”

“What happened?” She questioned.

“I don’t know, I just found her like this. I just need an ambulance. We’re wasting precious time talking.” I yelled into the phone.

“Sir, take a deep breath, and calm down.”

“Calm down? I can’t calm down when I know my girlfriend’s life is slipping away.” 

“Where’s your location sir?” The dispatcher changed the subject.

“Juilliard dormitories building 2 Room 510.” I answered. 

“We’re sending one out right now.” She said. I hung up the phone. 

I wanted to do CPR or something, but I have no idea what to do and I didn’t want to make anything worse, so I just held her body and rocked it back and forth while the ambulance barreled towards our room.