I Love You But I Hate You (A Muke FanFiction story) ✔

Part 23

Maybe this is not the best idea. . .I looked at the mirror and my body is shaking in nervous. My eyes were bloodshot and and wrists won't stop bleeding.

I can't be like this. . .after finding out that I'm doing self harm they'll sent me to asylum and never let me go.

I hate that to happen but how can I stop myself from doing this? Who would listen to me?

I went to my bed forgetting the all the worries and held my teddy bear close to me. "Hey. . ." a husky voice echoed in my ear "Luke. . .! I didn't know you're here" I said.

"I'm sorry if I scared you. . .just want to cuddle you" he says as he snuggles his head in the crook of my neck giving me goosebumps.

"You know it's awkward. . .me and you cuddling here in my bed" I said "I think it is not. . .it's better you know" he says and I slightly shift uncomfortably.

"Are you okay? I think there is something wrong" he whispered as he grabbed my wrist  and saw the new cuts I have.

"Why can't you stop? It's killing me you know. . ." he added and I shut my mouth. "Please tell me how to stop this thing and I'll help you" he added.

"My life is just a weather. . .whenever I'm sad. . .or depressed I would cry just like the rain. And whenever I'm happy I would light up the world just like the sun. . ." I said in irony "You have to stop this! It is killing me" he said and I felt the world has stopped just for us.

"I can't. . .but I'll try. . ." I said nuzzling my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him "Do you know why I like you?" he asked.

"What. . .?" I said closing my eyes "I love being who you are" he says placing a kiss on my forehead giving me shivers down my spine.

"You know this is giving me shivers. . ." I said "I know. . .and this is why I'm being like this" he says. We stayed there for hours and silence took over me.

He fell asleep and I haven't took a nap, I stared at the ceiling thinking about myself and the band. I slowly got out of the bed and went to Ashton.

Ashton's POV

I got suprised when Michael visit today, "What brings you here?" I asked "Nothing much. . .I'm just bothered that's all. . ." he replied looking down. What the hell is he talking about?

"What the hell is going on?" I asked getting confused to his actions "I can't feel this anymore. . .I'm being guarded up. . .the feeling of being locked up by your own words and thoughts. I'm trapped inside it and I can't get out" he explained.

"You mean you're too scare to love Luke?" I asked giving a conclusion to his problem.

"Yeah. . .sort of. . .I don't know! I'm being pressure between love and hate" he added and I frowned. How could he think of this?

He is the most perfect person for him and yet he is too scared to admit? Maybe he is right. . .he is trapped by his words and thoughts.

"What should I do? I can't be like this forever. . ." he  mumbled 

"Try to get out of your shelf. . .be who you are" I said

"What if don't work out? What if it fails?"

"It will never be. . .I promise. . ." I assured him and he sighed "Better be good at this. . .I'm expecting to be a good relationship" I said and we both chuckled.

Michael's POV

When I came home, I went to his room and he was playing my Xbox. I cleared my throat so he get rid of my Xbox but he didn't, "You know there is a sign that says it is the property of Michael" I said in a serious tone.

"Oh hey. . .I didn't you would come home early. . .I'm not destroying it" he says "You are right now" I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"Okay fine. . .I'm not gonna touch your boyfriend anymore" he says emphasizing the word boyfriend' and I rolled my eyes.

"That's my baby and you're killing it" I said "Yeah. . .but remember. . ." he says coming closer to me before saying. . .

"You'll be mine. . ."

Those words gave me shivers down my spine, I gulped in nervous and looked at his blue eyes. "Just remember that okay? Because I'm yours and you're mine" he added and I shook my head "It's impossible" I said with a small smirk on my face.

"Are you challenging me. . .?" he asked furrowing his eyebrows "What if I said yes?" I joked and all of a sudden he pushed me against the wall giving me a yelp in pain from my back.

"Who do you think you are?" he said with a smirk on his face "I'm just kidding. . .I didn't know you would take it seriouly" I said closing my eyes and ready for the fist colliding in my face.

"I'm sorry. . ."

Those words opened my eyes and saw him with tears on his eyes. I squeezed my grip on his shirt and rub my nose agaisnst him, "Just promise me you're mine?" he says.

"I was destined to be yours. . .a long time ago" I said as I giggled and he chuckled "Just promise me okay?" he says and I nod my head nuzzling my head in the crook of his neck. I could feel his hot breathe on my neck, I closed my eyes and stayed there like the world has stopped for us.

There is a hot steam between us that trapped both of us, sweats were forming on his forehead. I gulped before saying

"I love you. . ."