Everything is gone

Chapter 6

I wake up to Jake placing his hand in mine, but after my most recent memory of us, I am in no mood to see him. So I decide to go to the one person I know I need, my mom. I open my eyes and see Jake staring at me. I turn my head away from him and look to the window, and my mom is standing there. I give her a smile, and tell her to come in. She nods, and begins to walk into my room. Jake stands up angrily and leaves the room. I watch her give him an apologetic smile before she comes and sits by my bed.

"How are you feeling honey? Doctor Manuel told us how well you were doing."

"Mom why do I stay with Jake?" She looks at me stunned that I am asking her this.

" I don't think I should be the one to tell you. Jake is the one that you should all to about it."

"Well what else won't you tell me? Last night I just found out that my real dad is dead, and then I had a terrible memory about Jake and I? Why can't anyone give me answers?"

"Nellie, I just didn't want to see your face when you found out. Losing your father the first time was tremendously hard, and you didn't recover well. So I was scared to watch you have to go through that again. Honey I am so sorry. I know that you want all of the answers, but not everyone can give you all these answers. I want to help you be able to understand everything, but your doctor wants you to get bits and pieces of your past. Rather than get everything pilled on you at once. And I think Jake should be the one to tell you how your complicated relationship goes." I nod pretending that I understand everything that she is telling me but it's hard. I just want to be able to know everything instead of having this burden to my family because I don't remember them. She squeezes my hand and gives me a kiss on my forehead and leaves. Finally, she isn't leaving my room crying, and then a new memory comes.

I look like I am about ten, and I am sitting in the waiting room at the hospital, all alone. A doctor comes and tells me that it's time to say goodbye. I follow her to a room, and see the man that is my father. He looks extremely weak, and gives me a painful smile. I walk up next to his bed and hear him whisper to me,

"Nellie, someday you're going to do something good. Everyone is going to see what an incredible woman you have become. I do not want you to be scared, and I don't want you to be sad. Please do me one favor, don't ever forget me okay?" I nod and begin crying and give my father one last hug.

"I love you Daddy."

"Don't worry darling someday we will be together again, I love you very much." I watch him take his last breath and hear his heart beat stop. But I know that he was not in pain anymore. I could see the pain in his eyes as he was saying goodbye. I know that my dad knew he was ready to leave us. Even though it was hard to watch my father die, he loved me, and now I know one more thing about my past.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Next day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I watch Jake walk in the room and sit down beside me, he looks like he'd just been crying. What was happening?

"Jake what's wrong?"

"Your mother told me about your conversation. You don't love me anymore? Please Nellie you can't give up on me. I know you have been having some back memories from us, and I know that I have no excuse for the way that I act. But our relationship isn't perfect, I know its not. But you promised me that you knew how I was, and that you wouldn't give up; even if my anger issues get the best of me at some times. That's how we are, we argue all the time, but at the end of the day, we love each other. Please Nellie you can't give up on me."

"That was the old Nellie that promised you all of those things, I don't remember promising you anything, I'm sorry that I don't remember, but I don't know what else to do. I only have had one good memory of us Jake. And the other two have been getting worse and worse. I don't know what else you want me to do?"

"I want you to believe in something that you aren't sure of. I want you to trust me, even if you only have three memories of us, I just want you to believe in us."

"Jake I want to believe in us, I just don't know how I can."

"Nellie, I want you to believe in us, even though your not sure about us."

I watch a tear stream down his face, I put my hand up and whipe the tear away. He hold my hand to his cheek as he begins crying more. Then, I am in a memory.

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Xo