Before I joined this lovely group of friends, I was friends with someone that I use to call "best friends."
Define best friend. These people are the people that you trust. They are loyal, honest and respectful. These people are the people that won't say shit behind your back; they won't turn their backs on you. These people are the people that are supposed to be there for you through your ups and down.
But this 'best friend' did the exact opposite. She said shit about me but it wasn't behind my back, it was through a tiny ass screen. Why did she say it? It's because we had two different opinions. Something she didn't want.
Define argument.
Argument is a disagreement between two or more people. Each person was trying to prove their point.
That's what we had; and what did she say? "But you tried so hard to prove your point"
Darling, isn't that part of an argument?
What was the argument about? Oh don't worry. I'll tell you.
Our friendship use to consist of 4 people. One left, because she felt as if she wasn't treated fairly. It was understandable. I saw what she meant.
The second person left. That's it. She just left. She found new and "cooler" people to hang out with. But with those new friends she had, we noticed how she started to change. Her attitude, the way she see things. Everything changed. She was too blind to see it. She denied it.
I've just grown to accept she changed. Things are different. This friend once told me, "Never throw the first punch so you won't be in trouble."
She took that quote a little too seriously. One day, she decided to confront the second person that left.
An argument arose and more trouble came into view.
She threw the first punch.
I told her how she basically threw the first punch. She was just too blind to notice it, why? It's because "she didn't actually throw a punch" and that's when everything started to change. It was clear that she didn't really understand her quote. She thought it meant physically. I thought so too. But if you actually think about it, her confronting the second friend about something stupid was basically throwing the first punch, because the second friend threw a punch back... to defend herself.
I talked to the second friend; she told me that the first friend was confronting her about something not really important. So we had this group chat and we talked. I defended the second friend because she didn't do what she was confronted about. The first friend said "how I tried so hard to prove my point" but that's part of an argument right? Then she said how I'm starting to act like the second friend.
She said more shit and I thought to myself. Out of all the times we spent together. This great wall of friendship we built. She threw it all away because I was defending the person she hated. That's not how best friend work. I defended her because did nothing wrong. We judged her on one action, and that's what we saw in every action she did after that. We were wrong.
We were mad at each other. I thought to myself, if this is how she is, she going to say shit about me because I didn't side with her, I don't need her. I can find other people. So I ended everything that we shared. She broke the wall; I didn't even bother to build it back up again. I just picked up the mess and threw it in the trash.
I did find new people to talk to, to eat lunch with, to hang out with, etc. But it just so happen that she was there. I was mad at her. I didn't talk to her. I talked to the other people around.
Few days later, I guessed she realized her mistake because she had no one to go to class with, I was no longer there. She had no one to eat lunch with, I was no longer there. But she just so happens to follow me everywhere I go. Turns out, she was afraid of me because I was mad. And she knew why. She texted me saying how sorry she was and how much she misses me.
I guess that's how you're supposed to feel when you lose your best friend who was everything you're not. If she was the one defending the second friend then I'm fine with that because that's her opinion. But everything had to go her way. That's how our friendship was. Her way.
I ended up blocking her on twitter because that's her only way to contact the world. Through texting, twitter, snapchat and Instagram. So I blocked her on twitter. She started to message me through Instagram. Her message was very self-centered. She said something on how she wanted to check up on me, but she basically just told me an unwanted update of her life. "Finding out the bae likes you back" like good for you. I don't fucking care. At least I'm not behind.
I told her I wanted nothing to do with her. To give me space. She just couldn't stay away.
Over the summer I made it crystal clear that I wanted nothing to do with her. So she wanted to start cutting. So being the kind person that I am. I told how its stupid to cut because you lost someone. Cutting wont bring them back. Unless you want them to come back and act fake around you, you do you.
School started. She texted me asking when im going to unblock her on twitter. Geez its like all she cares about. And shes so clingy with guys. Like shes only talking to you when she needs something. She claimed herself 'friends with my new squad." But it doesn't look like friends to me, more like acquaintances.
She signed up for the same gym session as me "because there was no more space" but when I went to check there was space in the other session, one of the session had her squad in it.
she always asking one of my friends from squad why am i mad at her when she can clearly ask me. she says shes trying but she barely is. she doesnt get the hint. and i swear to gosh, she is following me everywhere.
she realizes she's doing these thing without really realizing them.
And Im not exactly sure if I should feel bad for her but her new squad doesn't really like her. I mean fake friends is what youre going to get if you don't treat your real friend right?
-shershmonica
