Chapter 35: The First Snow

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»Merel's POV«

Walking with Aleks, as the pouring rain hit our backs, gave me a little time to clear my head. Sometimes loving someone too much can be poisonous, and I think that I was getting heavily infected. I just need some time to take a step back, and put my gaurd back up. I let my brick wall tumble down for him, and I was a fool. I wouldn't even let it down for Sophia, so why should I have ever let Seamus past my defences? Bottom line: I got too drunk on him. His kiss is the heaviest shot of whiskey I've ever taken. It's time I got sober.

We reached Natalie's doorstep, and my hands were trembling. I wasn't weak from the cold rain though. It was all these evil and harsh thoughts in my head. I tried to shake them, or at least push them to the back of my mind. Natalie pulled me into a hug as soon as she opened the door.

"You're soaked! Both of you!" She said. "Come on in and dry off."

I slowly walked in, and her dog rushed to me. Stella was licking and kissing me all over, being a total sweetheart.

"You want a change of clothes?" She asked.

"Yes, please." I replied.

I started to follow her to her bedroom, but Aleks grabbed my hand.

"I better get back. If you need anything, don't be afraid to call."

I nodded. "Okay, thanks."

He hugged me tight, in a brotherly way. In the past year, he's really become an over protective brother to me, even if he is younger than I am. I love him like family. Same goes for Natalie, taking me in like this. She gave me an old t-shirt, and a pair of jeans. Then I went to her bathroom, and locked the door.

My hair was wet still, but I didn't feel like drying it. I at least ran a brush through it. My curls were mostly killed by the rain, and brushing them out just made it all a mess. Most my makeup had ran and I looked like shit. Halfway through putting on the clothes, I just stopped and staired at the mirror. I had yet to put a shirt on, so I was standing in jeans and a bra.

Where did I go wrong? When did I let everything turn to shit? I love him, I know I do. I don't want to lose him, but I just need to breathe. I wanted him there, holding me, but at the same time I didn't want to even think of him. I'm so confused. Tears were billowing in my eyes, but I fought it off and pulled myself together.

When I came out of the bathroom, Natalie had turned off the TV and she was making tea. Her living room light was on, but that was about it. I took a seat on her couch and looked out the window. The rain had turned to snow -first snow of the year.

"Here." She said, handing me a cup of tea. "It'll warm you up."

"Thank you." I muttered.

"Of course." She replied.

Natalie took a seat on the other end of the couch. Stella, her black lab, jumped up between us and rested her head on my leg. I giggled and petted her soft head.

"Aleks didn't really tell me anything. He just said you needed to be away from Seamus for a while, which took me back. So what's going on?"

I sighed. "Seamus just lied to me about something that he promised he wouldn't do. I'm not going into detail, but he not only hurt me, he hurt himself."

"I won't push on it." She said. "So where is he?"

"Eddie and Aleks' place."

"Uh-oh. That's not a good combo. Aleks acts like a brother to you, and Eddie isn't gonna stand for Seamus being an ass."

She's right. I hope those two can handle, or even take Seamus. He's stronger than he looks. I know that from when he almost broke our head board once. Then when he's mad, and my love is in the balance... this isn't good.

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