In My Eyes [Vkook]

Hospital

Jungkook POV-

JungHyun  was down stairs, the TV was on loud. Good, he'll be distracted I sat on the cold bathroom floor and played with my lighter. I scratched my head and sighed. I smiled softly and watched the flame dance on the lighter.

The colors were so mesmerizing, it moved so gracefully and it enamoured me. I haven't ever seen anything so beautiful before. I moved it closer to my body slowly, anticipating the relief it would give me. Once it was in contact with my skin I winced, a faint sizzling sound came from my wrist. I kept it there and watched my skin turn from a pale white to a dark and angry red. I closed my eyes and sighed, letting the pain distract me from the empty hole Tae has left again.

I moved the lighter around on my wrist, making patterns on my skin. I let the lighter go off and looked at what I had done. Angry red circles and shapes were burnt into my skin. They hurt badly, but I welcomed the pain gladly.

I put the lighter down and slipped off my top. I traced my fingers over some of the burns I had made yesterday, on my chest. I picked up the lighter again, flicked it on and held it to my chest. I closed my eyes tightly and letting the pain be the only thing I felt. The smell of blood and burning skin hung in the air. I inhaled deeply, it stung my nose and made me feel nauseous.

My eyes flew open and I chucked the lighter away from me. It slid across the floor and hit the wall. What am I doing..? I stood up and stared at my body in the mirror. What have I done? If Tae saw me now, he'd be so disappointed... Tears rolled down my face, I wish Tae was here... he'd help me... I suddenly broke down and sobbed heavily into my hands. I pulled away and wiped my eyes dry, I picked up the lighter and bit my lip. Tae doesn't care about you... no one does...

More tears came but I ignored them, they tasted salty and bitter. I flicked it on again and held it up to my neck, closing my eyes as I did so. Pain rippled through my body, my skin was a lot more sensitive here. I cried out in pain but kept the flame in contact with my skin. I relaxed, the pain made my mind go numb.

I heard little splatters on the bathroom floor. I opened my eyes, crimson droplets stained the marble white tiles. The blood made me feel nauseous again, it came from my neck, I had been holding the lighter there too long. I dropped the lighter and held my neck, more pain shot through me and I cried out. My vision started blurring and my breathing came in short bursts. T-Tae... I'm s-sorry was all I thought, before I felt my head smack against the cold hard floor.

***

Tae POV-

I grabbed my keys and ran put of the door, not caring that it was midnight, that I was my pajamas, and that I probably looked like a complete and utter mess. I was met with a shot of cold air, which I was glad for, since it took me out of my sleepy state. I fumbled with my keys to try and open my car door, but gave up in a few seconds. I'll just run... I kicked off my fluffy slippers, as they would just slow me down, and sprinted down the road to Kookies house.

When I got there I was completely put of breath and winded but I didn't care. I hammered on the door contiously until Junghyun swung it open.

"He's in the bathroom, he's been in there for about 3 hours, he won't answer and he won't come out. The doors locked, you're probably the only one he'll listen to."

By the time he finished explaining,  I was already half way up the stairs. I hurried over to the bathroom door and wacked it as hard as I could several times. "Kookie! Kookie!" I shouted.

When there was no answer I became desperate and started crying. "Please don't do anything silly, open up." Once again no answer. I rammed my shoulder into the door, it splintered a little at the hinge.

I carried on until my shoulder had become numb. I switched shoulders, the door was battered and busted up, but showed no sign of giving way. I growled in frustration and kicked it was all my might. It gave way with a loud crash.

I ran in and stopped dead in my tracks as I saw Kookies limp body in a small pool of blood around his neck. There was a lighter next to his body.

"J-JungH-Hyun... c-call 911." I screamed as I ran over to him.

I sat down and pulled him onto my lap. "K-Kookie?" I rocked him back and forth, holding him tightly. I choked on my tears, he was so cold and frail. I kissed his lips over and over, hoping that some how it would help.

"Please be okay, please be okay." I whispered as I nuzzled my face in his hair. My hands and part of my pajamas were stained in his blood, but I didn't notice, all I could see was kookies lifeless face. And I knew it would haunt me for the rest of my life.

***

I sat in the waiting room, not many people were around since it was really late. The ambulance people had given me a change of clothes, which I had gladly accepted. Having Kookie's blood on my clothes was too much to bare.

***

"Where are you taking him?" I screamed.

"Sir, please calm down, he needs to get a blood transfusion, he has lost quite a lot." A doctor calmly explained as he blocked my path, so I couldn't run after the men wheeling Kookies bed

"Let me go with him!" I shouted as they wheeled him through the double doors at the end of the corridor.

The doctor shook his head. "I can't allow that I'm sorry, take a seat in the waiting room, he's in the hands of professionals now."

Bitter tears ran down my face again. "I'm not gonna fucking sit around and wait for you to tell me he's died!!!" I screamed again trying to shove the doctor out the way.

"Sir! Sir please! He will be fine, he just lost a lot of blood and hit his head pretty hard, he just needs a blood transfusion and an assessment on his head, it will take a while-"

I shoved the doctor out the way and started running down the corridor. I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn't slow down. I got to the double doors, they were locked and I could see Kookie on the other side. I screamed loudly and wacked the door, but I was dragged away by security guards. They took me to the waiting room.

***
I checled the clock. 3:22am. I've been here for just over 3 hours. I sighed quietly. I know the doctor said he'd be okay... but I can't help but worry.

More time passed, I became more frantic and couldn't sit still. I looked up at the ceiling and bit my lip. If there is a God up there, please let Kookie be safe, please please let him be okay...

~J4MMYD0DG3R