In My Eyes [Vkook]

Cuts

Somewhat mature content :/
~~~

Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched the razor slice through the skin on my wrists and thighs. I winced at the pain, it hurt, but it was somehow relieving. I wanted the pain, I craved it, I needed it.

At first I would do it once a week, but as the days drew on and my heart ached more and more for Tae, it became more frequent. Twice, sometimes three times a day, I would go to the bathroom and cut myself now. Sometimes even at school, I would break down and do it in the bathroom.

I put the razor down and stared at my wrists and thighs, they were covered in scars and blood. It disgusted me, but I deserved the pain.

My eyes filled with tears. They dripped onto my arms, I winced in pain but let them keep falling. I closed my eyes making them fall faster on to my cuts. They burned and I clenched my teeth through the pain. You deserve this...I told myself. I ended up cutting more.

***

I walked through the halls with my head down. I huddled to the walls trying my best to not be noticed and to blend in with everyone else.

Someone knocked into me causing me to drop my books. You're pathetic Jungkook... so clumsy...I muttered a sorry and bent down to pick them up. But before I could the person grabbed my collar and lifted me up. Yeri. She snarled and leaned in close to me.

I shuddered and looked behind her as everyone rushed to class. This happens alot, people pretend not to see me... or to see her torturing me. Not sparing a thought for me, not bothering to help... but why should they? I'm nothing... not worth anyone's thoughts...

"Watch where you're going Jungkook!" She sneered as she shoved be back against the wall. I gasped as pain shot through my body. She walked away, and kicked my papers and books across the floor, as she did so. I bent down to pick up my scattered stuff.

"J-Jungkook?" An uncertain voice asked.

My heart beat stopped and I froze. My name sounded so unfamiliar coming from his mouth. I longed to hear him call me Kookie... not Jungkook, it sounded too harsh... too much like Yeri.

I looked up slowly, but didn't meet Tae's eyes. Ugh pitiful... don't look at him, he's too good for you. I quickly looked back down.

He stared at me blankly, he looked like he wanted to say something. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he sighed.

"Jungko- Kookie... I..." he took a step towards me and my heart bashed against my chest.

That wall I had build up, crumbled down. I could feel tears coming on, I desperately wanted to run into his arms, or tell him I'm sorry being weak, for being a mess and not being able to confess how I feel.

He took another step closer. "Kook-" he started.

"Baby? Don't talk to... that! Class is gonna start c'mon..." Yeri interupted.

Tae looked torn, he glanced between me and Yeri. He eventually sighed and walked into class with Yeri.

I pressed my back to the wall and slowly slid down til I was sitting on the floor. Tears flowed from my eyes. Of course he went with Yeri... you're nothing, he'll never like someone like you... why would he?

I bought my knees up to my chin and sobbed into them. My hands twitched. I need something for this pain. I fumbled through my back pack, for something sharp... anything.

I dried my tears as I found my compass. I rolled up my sleeve exposing my arm and the fresh pinkish scars from yesterday. I sighed and pressed the tip into my skin.

Someone's loud footsteps echoed from down the empty hall. I dropped the compass and scrambled to pick up my stuff. A short boy ran past me, he slowed down and looked at me. I stared at the ground and continued to grab my stuff.

I reached out to grab one last piece of paper but the boy picked it up before I could. I sighed and closed my eyes tight.

"Hmmm... Jeon Jungkook?" He said friendly as he read the name on the top of my paper.

I looked up at him. He held out his hand to me and I hesitantly took it.

"Hello! I'm Jimin!! Park Jimin." He pulled me up and bowed with an enthusiastic smile.

I held back a smile, he seemed genuinely pleased to meet me. What cruel trick is someone playing on me? He looked down at my wrist and frowned.

I yanked my hand away and pulled my sleeve down to cover it. I muttered something like a sorry and hung my head down in shame.

He looked at me blankly for a second then pulled me into a hug. I gasped slightly. W-What is he doing?

"It gets worse before it gets better." He said and pulled away from me. He lifted up his own sleeve showing faint scars of his own. He smiled sadly at me.

I looked down. Why is this guy being nice to me? He doesn't even know me...

"Ummm... Jungkook?"

I raised my head and he handed me back the paper and stuffed it in my bag.

"Do you know where room 305 is?" He asked while rocking back on his heels.

I nodded. "Uh actually it's my class... this way..."

***

I sat under the tree and got out my sketch book, the one Tae had gotten me my last birthday. Tae... I sighed and carried on doodling my depressing pictures. What was he gonna say earlier?

"Ju-Kookie?" Some one stammered. I looked up, Tae? Surely enough, it was. My heart ached more every second I looked at him.

"I just wanted t-to say-"

"Jeon Jungkook!"

I turned my head. A short boy ran over to me. I recognized him from earlier. "Jimin?"

He grinned widely and came and sat next to me. He threw an arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. I shrank away from him, not wanting to be touched.

Tae frowned at us. "Uh see ya..."

I cocked my head and sighed. Don't leave me Tae... I'm empty when you're gone...

~J4MMYD0DG3R