So I was out with my bro Oli and we accidentally walked into some weird, hipster shop.
Great start Jess
So we were laughing about how a truck of wood that you put in your garden to rot away was priced at £4500 which is fucking ridiculous for something I could illegally cut down in Sherwood Forest. Then this chick decides to come up to me, asking what's so funny.
So Oli - being the best brother to grace this earth - excuses himself because he got a 'phone call'.
Bullshit.
So as he walks (runs) out of the shop the woman, who I now realise was the manager, just raises an eyebrow at me.
So as I open my mouth to speak, I literally squeak.
Like what the fuck came out of my mouth?
You had one job. One job, Jess.
She smirked asking if I wanted to buy the weird piece of wood and literally nothing came out of my mouth.
I felt my cheeks burn and it was literally the most embarrassing thing because here I am.
Bimbo blonde that can't speak in a room full of all of these obscure items and weird dudes with graphic penises drawn in an 'abstract' way on their shirts.
So now I'm home, debating what to do with a big log and how to pay my wifi bill since I just lost £4500.
Great.
~Jess
