Feels af.

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Okay so it's been a little while since I did a full on rage/sad/appreciation chapter so yeah. Here you bitches: a look into Jess' mind atm.

I'm still really fucking sad about not getting to see Troye at Christmas like I know that the tour is an amazing oppotunity for not just me as a musician but the band as a career boost but to be honest I feel that maintaining my relationships not just with the excitable Aussie but Zoe, Dan, Phil, Connor, Tyler and so many others is worth a lot more.

On the other hand the tour. The tour, it's incredible how many people messaged me the other day saying they got tickets and will scream their lungs out for the girls. I tried to reply to all of your dms just saying thank you because we sincerely appreciate everything that you guys do towards the well being of the band.

I still can't process how many of you were wishing Jenna get wells and shit (you actually got #JennaLikesDrugs trending wtf) and when Chrissy started the band I don't even think Grumpy Ass Who Parts His Hair In The Middle And Literally Only Has One Outfit would have guessed how much of an amazing fan base we have, that's why we trust you with so much.

Once we learn what's happening like events, signings, release dates etc. the first thing any of us ask is if we can tell you guys since we totally think you deserve everything that we tell you and more.

You're here when one of us is being attacked on social media, you call out (maybe sometimes too harshly) any interviewer or article that twists our words because you know we wouldn't say anything like that and I feel that's why the girls like to keep such a strong bond with you guys. Maybe our band will be one of those who get dropped from label to label but as long as we keep you guys, the people dedicate time and effort to trying to et us to notice you - note I actually read all the comments on videos and as many tweets that get sent out to me as possible - or paying money for you music we don't give a shit who we're signed to, hell I wouldn't care if we got signed to Hi Or Hey and were forced to interact with Horseradish for the sake of it.

We're the same as you, girls who fangirl over bands and music as well as stay up until stupid times stalking people. We're still teenagers, yeah maybe some of us will be twenty next year but we're all growing up together. Luckily the fame bug hasn't bitten any of us yet but if that happens all I beg of you is that you stay with us because we're all just secretly bitches but don't show it. We try - key word try - to set an example for you guys but to be honest you're always going to be better and I can live with that.

I was thinking of doing a Christmas giveaway for like ten people on Twitter if you'd like that? Maybe some beanies, shirts, wristbands, posters (all signed obviously like wtf who gives stuff away and doesn't sign it?) if I can arrange that and Simon won't be an ass like he normally is. As long as I have Harry on my side I'll probably be fine (I FINALLY MET HARRY FUCKING STYLES AND HE WAS SUPER NICE AND I GOT REALLY EXCITED AND HE HUGGED ME THEN FOLLOWED ME. THANK THE GODS FOR LETTING US BE SIGNED TO TE SAME LABEL AS ONE DIRECTION)

Finally I just like to say a massive thank you to Demi Lovato, The YouTube Crew (AKA Zoe, Alfie, Joes, Casper etc) and Ed Sheeran for tweeting out our music!

i love you beautiful monsters.

~Jess xx

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