omg though, christmas.
Now I didn't celebrate Christmas for six years of my life but recently my family started getting all hyped up in Manchester while I'm just a smol lonely potato in my London apartment.
I whipped (I like that word, whipped) up a check list of things you will need for the perfect Jess Christmas:-
( * is done
• is to be completed)
1. Fairy lights. Red, blue, green, yellow I don't give a shit about what colour just a fuck ton of fairy lights. *
2. A tree. Now don't go all out because that's wasteful, go with the plastic ones (I have a green one sprayed with white bc snow) *
3. Themed decorations. My theme is black gold but last year I had red and gold, generally go for a different colour and gold. *
4. Candles. Don't even bother thanking me when you apartment/house smells like fucking magic. •
5. MUSIC :D I mean obviously this would show up in my list but music is so important for the Christmas atmosphere. I recommend Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass bc ATL trash *
6. In England (by too sure about America) we have things call matchmakers and omfg America if you don't have them you're missing out. They're perfect for when you're casually talking about sex to your friends because your asshole of an ex decided to bring it up. Ha. Ha. Ha. (They haven't come out yet :c do you hear me crying?) •
7. HOT CHOCOLATE LIKE DONT EVEN QUESTION IT. *
8. New bedsheets/duvet. You will be so ready for that artsy shot of you bedroom if you have some sort of cool ass or simplistic Christmas duvet *
9. Friends. Ha. I have no friends for this one•
10. Books. Do I have to explain this? *
11. Board games bc what brings a family together more than shouting at your brother for printing off fake Monopoly money •
12. Christmas leggings and/or sweaters. Possibly Ugg boots if you aren't poor but they're the best things to happen to humanity.•
13. Toast and Nutella. You can totally tell the place to be for Christmas is my house. *
14. A fully charged phone for dinner down at the pub. So many selfies will be taken. •
15. Kidnapping Patty and stuffing him in a box for a Bandmate. •
Alternative: going to buy tickets to spend Christmas with Troye until you remember you'll be on tour during the festive season and have just wasted half of your savings.
Fuck you 5SOS.
~grumpy Jess
