I was called into the management recently about some issues that we might have with 5SOS.
Apparently they think I'm the most mature?
Anyway they basically told me about how I should calm down the girls and shit if they get a bit rowdy and try to maintain as much good media as possible between the bands unless they tells us we can shade them to get even more attention.
They also had Luke (who is also apparently responsible?) on Skype and made us I say and promise and shit.
Calm the fuck down, it's a six month long trip for concerts (if you get the reference I love you) not a oath to a cult.
So Luke was talking to me because we were forced to make conversation and he kept asking me question as if he expected me to answer.
Dude, you know nothing about our band do you?
So I basically just sat there in a conference room alone (the door was locked) with Blonde Asshole for a whole hour of him saying stuff that came to his head and me just blinking at him not really making an effort.
But do you know what he said to me?
After ten minutes of him ranting about how the guitar tech on the last tour was shit he had the fucking nerve to say
'so I guess you're the boring one in your band. You know, the pretty thing that barely does anything."
OKAY LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING HEMMINGS
I WORK MY ASS OFF PRACTISING SONGS TO PERFECTION WHERE I CAN SING THEM AT THE SAME TIME WHILST READING STUFF ON MY KINDLE AND PLAY A FUCKING PIANO WITHOUT FAULT
I HELP WRITE A SMALL PORTION OF THE GUITAR RIFFS EVEN THOUGH I KNOW FUCK ALL ABOUT GUITARS
I HAVE A FAMILY TO SUPPORT SINCE THEY ALL HAVE REALLY CRAPPY JOBS MEANING I GO OUT AND BASICALLY BUSK ON THE STREETS OF LONDON
I FOLLOW AND REPLY TO AS MANY FANS AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE SINCE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
I WRITE SONGS THAT DONT GO ON THE ALBUM BECAUSE THEY AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH BUT WE SURPRISE PEOPLE BY RANDOMLY PLAYING THEM AT SHOWS
I DO COUNTLESS CHARITY EVENTS NOT JUST FOR PUBLICITY BUT BECAUSE MY MUM DIED OF CANCER WHEN I WAS FOUR
I DEAL WITH ALL THE SHIT YOU AND YOUR FUCKING BAND THROW AT US AND THAT MAY MEAN THAT I GET THE GIRLS TOGETHER FOR HOT CHOCOLATE AND A NETFLIX BINGE, I LISTEN TO THEM COMPLAIN HELL I EVEN BUY THEM TICKETS TO CONCERTS THEY WANT TO GO TO TO CHEER THEM UP
I TRY MY HARDEST TO MAKE STUFF BETTER FOR EVERYBODY ELSE AROUND ME
SO I DONT THINK YOU HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT TO TELL ME IM JUST THERE TO LOOK PRETTY AND BECOME ANOTHER INCORRECT STEREOTYPE BECAUSE I WORK MY ASS OFF TO KERP MYSELF RELEVENT TO OUR BAND.
Those girls mean everything to me and you may piss me off to the point where I want to go on a mass murder spree but that's make them disappointed and I don't want that.
So I dare you to say to me again in person because I swear to god I will tear your balls off with my bare hands.
Happy Halloween motherfuckers.
~Jess.
