Harry Potter I: Facebook Feed Edition

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I originally thought of the idea while using Fanfiction, someone posted a story about Harry Potter books but as Facebook feeds, they never finished writing it so I adopted the story and added my own ideas. But someone reported me cos there is a new rule saying you can't post anything in script or chat format cos it take less time. I assure you it really doesn't. took me nearly 3 hours just write the first chapter, cos there was a lot of reading and re-reading the ORIGINAL Harry Potter book chapter 1 to see what would be nice as a Facebook status. And so I deleted the story on FanFiction and decided to start posting on Wattpad instead. Please feel free to comment, if people like it, then I might do this for all the Harry Potter books. I kinda want each character to have some kind of personal trait, like maybe Ron swears a lot or Mrs Norris is a canabel...if you have any ideas please tell me.