Harry Potter I: Facebook Feed Edition

Chapter 10

Draco Malfoy cannot believe Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley are still at school! Am I supposed to expect this sort of special treatment for our entire stay at Hogwarts? I am not taking this...life is not real.

(Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, and 38 others like this.)

Harry Potter:Just shows I'm a better person than you, so get, Malfoy.

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore:Lolz.

Draco Malfoy ?

____________________________________________________________

Harry Potter wrote on Ronald Weasley's wall: Hey, mate! So, I totez know what's goin' on with the whole three-headed dog thing. It's hiding something, obviously. Possibly the grubby little package that I saw Hagrid take from vault 713! I mean Hogwarts IS the safest place to hide something.

Ronald Weasley:Bloody hell!!! Leave it to Hagrid to be so obvious that an eleven-year-old who literally just found out he was a wizard, like, 3 months ago, is able to work out a conspiracy like this.

Harry Potter:I know, even at Gringotts I was like, dude, if you're trying to let me in on this secret, you're doing great HAHA.

Ronald Weasley:lololol

Rubeus Hagrid: ...Yer know, I may be large but I have feelings!

Harry Potter:Sorry, Hagrid. It's no offense to you as a PERSON – we think you're great!

Ronald Weasley:Well, except for the rock cakes...that's another complaint. But just that – your inability to keep secrets, your rock cakes...oh, and also I'd think you'd be more tolerant towards gingers considering the mistreatment you endure being a giant.

Rubeus Hagrid:I ain't a giant! Not a full one!

Ronald Weasley:I'm rolling my eyes right now, Hagrid. Give me a break.

____________________________________________________________

Ronald Weasley wrote on Harry Potter's wall: Anyway, as I was saying, Harry, the grubby little package is either really valuable or really dangerous.

Harry Potter:Or both...

Hermione Jean Granger:Neville and I both don't care at all what the package is. Actually, I'm not even speaking to you anymore.

Ronald Weasley:Bitch, you literally amaze me. NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION.

Harry Potter:Yeah, if anything, we're glad you aren't interested. Maybe you'll keep your nose out of it, then?

Hermione Jean Granger:Don't count on it, boys.

Ronald Weasley:Now...was that "I'm not speaking to you anymore" some sort of practical joke or...?

Hermione Jean Granger:Starting NOW!

Neville Longbottom:By the way, that's not entirely true what you said, Hermione - it's not that I don't care, I'm just never going near that dog again. Speak for yourself.

Harry Potter:That understandable, Nev.

Ronald Weasley:Yeah, Granger. Leave Neville out of this. He has enough problems as it is.