Cracked Armada

Naruto 4

Chapter 8
Title: Death Bonds
Pairing(s): NaruSaku, NaruGara , SakuGara. Smh. I know
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The death of Naruto caused shock to many, but the one who took it the hardest was Gaara. When he heard the news, he flew straight from the village hidden in the sand to Kohona ontop his sand carpet, refusing to believe his ears.

However, when he arrived upon Naruto's gravestone, his heart nearly gave out. He wailed and sobbed, and was an absolutely uncontrollable mess. He was crying day-in and day-out, and whenever he took a break to eat, or breathe, you could still hear him crying.

Wait, what? Gaara's head suddenly snapped around to find that it wasn't just him who was heart-broken. Another ninja had laid his head down upon the tomb and was weeping his heart out.

"Naruto! Why did you die! How dare you! I- I loved you!!"

In his grief, Gaara mistakenly thought that the black-haired ninja - Sasuke Uchiha - had been referring to him. He stopped crying for a brief moment, and mumbled back.

"I love you too."

Sasuke looked up with tears still flowing down his face. In front of him knelt Gaara - a shinobi who also had a bond with Naruto - who looked quite dashing with his eyeliner dripping everywhere. Sasuke suddenly had a thing for K-pop stars, and he gulped down his laments.

"Y-you're Gaara right?"

"Yes." Came the answer from the red-haired male. Sasuke swooned. His voice was so deep, so husky - so manly! It certainly was nothing like...

"Naruto..." Sasuke mumbled, and curled into the fetus position, not wanting to remember that his first kiss had died.

To his evident shock, Gaara wrapped his sand around him and said sadly. "I know. Me too." Gaara glanced wistfully at the portrait of Naruto placed upon the ground. "I loved him too."

All of a sudden - as if lightning struck the two boys, they shivered in unison. When they looked back up again, they were completely and utterly smitten with each other.

"G-gaara." Sasuke choked out, suddenly timid. "I have to tell you something."

"I know. I know."Gaara said with lust burning in his eyes. "So, your place or mine?"

"W-what?!" Sasuke blushed. How could Gaara be so forward! He giggled slightly, thinking of all the fun they could have with the sand.

After a tentative pause, they both gave up any pretenses of social normality and did it right on top of Naruto's grave.

THE EN---- WAIT. THERE'S MORE!

"Hahah Suckers! Can't believe you really fell for -" Naruto stopped mid-sentence. He could not believe his eyes. Where he had placed a black and white photo of himself and the tomb he had built the other night lay his two best friends.

Entangled with each other.

Naked.

From Naruto's throat came various choking noises as his brain tried to wrap itself around what had happened. All he wanted to do was play a prank - WTF happened?!

He cautiously walked up to the pair - who were worn out - and kicked Sasuke in the back, only to invoke a moan and a boner from the raven-head. Naruto couldn't take it anymore.

"Clone Jutsu! Rasengan!"

With a single rasengan, he blasted Sasuke clear out of Kohona - That bastard! How dare he try and seduce my Gaara? Naruto thought angrily as he gently shook Gaara awake.

A high pitched scream came from the latter when he awoke, followed by a gasp as he beheld Naruto in all his un-dead glory.

"T-this isn't what it looks like!" Gaara exclaimed, and swung his head around in confusion when he

saw no trace of the one he had just made love to.

"I know." Naruto said gently, kissing Gaara on the forehead.

"It's only because you had died..." Gaara whispered hoarsely in Naruto's ears - causing the blonde to blush lightly.

"But, you know..." Naruto started, but was cut off when chains made of sand suddenly formed around his ankles and hands.

"I'm glad though, that you're back." Gaara grinned. "I'm pretty in necrophilia, you see."

With that, Gaara became a registered sex-offender and was sent to jail for rape.

Sasuke fell into a river, where he was picked up by a tranny.

And Naruto? After being betrayed so thoroughly, he gave up on life and killed himself.

~FIN~
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*Sighs* Honestly I didn't know what to think. Correction, I couldn't think because I was laughing. They seem like they are drunk. And a flying sand carpet?!! Does Gara have one of those?

She and her funny chapters. She says the next one might be serious.

Anyway dont forgot to vote and comment. And we still need an attack on Titans writer. Or if you write any other anime and you are interested just Pm me. Thank you. Till next update.