Cracked Armada

Naruto 1

Hello my wonderful readers, chapter two of crack Armada. And it's Naruto time.

Chapter 2
Title: Spring Time in Konoha
Pairing(s): SakuIno,NaruHina, one sided SasuNaru, one sided inosasu and NejiSaku.
Genre: Humour
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Sakura giggled to herself as she finished tying together the picnic basket. Inside, there was a special polaroid camera that was controlled by chakra. Today, she was going on a picnic with Sasuke-kun and that idiot Naruto.

Finally, after so long. She would finally get that perfect picture of Sasuke, and shove it in Ino's face.

*~*~*

"Sasuke-kuuun~~~" She chirped as she spotted the raven-head.

"Hn" He grunted in response. "Where's the dobe?"

"Oi! Teme!" A male voice yelled from a bit away. "What you saying about me?!"

"Ah, good morning Naruto!" Sakura called out politely, but the blonde ignored her and started immediately to butt heads with Sasuke.

"Well, let's get going shall we?" She said happily.

*~*~*

"Are you in location?" Sai said through the comms in Sakura's ear.

"Obviously" She whispered back, and then called out to the two boys.

"Hey guys~ Let's go swimming!"

"YOSHI!" Naruto shouted excitedly, and dashed off whereas Sasuke went "Hn" and laid back on the grass, brooding about life.

"Sai, you're up."

"Yes ma'am!"

*~*~*

"Hello, Sasuke-kun." Sai said with his perfectly practiced smile as he approached his target.

"Eh. What the hell do you want?" Sasuke responded without looking up.

"I'd like to talk to you about your boyfriend." Sai said, still smiling.

"MY WHAT?!" Sasuke shouted, sitting up with intensity.

"Oh, I didn't mean to frighten you. The whole village knows already." Sai gave a short chuckle.

"You and Naruto are a thing, no?"

"What the hell. No!" Sasuke said with a huff. "I'm straight! Pretty sure Naruto is too."

"Pretty sure?" Sai said with a suggestive lift of his eyebrows. "But, that's not what everyone else is saying."

"W-what do you mean?" Sasuke asked nervously.

"Well, I mean... Have you never seen him? He always transforms into those busty blondes, but never has a nosebleed!"

"Y-you can't mean."

"Ahhh, yes. Naruto is perfect." With this, Sai let out a sigh.

"What do you mean, do you stalk him or something?!" Sasuke muttered. In reality, he'd been waiting for this news for the longest time. He could feel his heart beat speeding up.

Just then, Naruto walked back with Sakura, and Sasuke couldn't help but notice his eight-pack. And the way his arm muscles tightened whenever he swung them.

"Oi. Teme." Naruto said, and was about to slap some sense into Sasuke when his hand was roughly caught and Naruto was pulled towards Sasuke.

"Wh-!!!" Naruto shouted, but his lips were quickly sealed with a kiss from Sasuke.

*Snap*

A flash of light made Naruto freeze and look over to see Sakura grinning broadly, and Sai no where to be found.

"What the fuck?!" Naruto shouted at Sasuke as he wiped the raven head's saliva off.

"Wait. You're not gay?" Sasuke asked, dumbfounded.

"I'm getting married to Hinata for fucks sake. Don't go around kissing people teme!"

Sasuke stared, stunned, as this piece of information settled in his brain.

He finally noticed another blond in the group. Ino had walked out of the bush with a pain-stricken look on her face.

"Naruto might not be gay, but you sure are!" Sakura laughed as she stuck the picture in Ino's face. Ino started to cry.

"Another yaoi picture for my collection~" Sakura giggled madly.

"What the hell Sakura?" Sasuke said, backing away slowly. "I thought you liked me?!"

"Whaaat?" Sakura said innocently, blinking her eyelashes. "But the only way to get Ino-chan to notice me was to compete with her for you!"

Sakura smiled and turned towards her long time secret love.

"Ino-chaaan, you promised me a kiss! I won the bet after all~"

Ino sniffled, but then pulled herself up.

"Sasuke! I can't believe you." She cried, and then flung herself into Sakura's arms.

"There there, I'll take care of you now." Sakura murmured, then shot a sadistic smile at Sasuke, who was still being glared at by Naruto.

Suddenly, everyone's phone buzzed. Terrified, Sasuke opened his phone to find that the picture Sakura had snapped had been sent to everyone in the village. Which meant...

"SASUKE YOU BASTARD!!!!" Hinata yelled as she charged up the hill where they were having the picnic. She was carrying her frying pan and still wearing her apron.

Not wanting to be cooked alive, Sasuke quickly escaped with Hinata hot on his heels.

With her byakugan, there was nowhere Sasuke went where he could hide from Hinata, so he finally decided to run to a cliff.

"Ha!" Hinata cried out as she cornered him. "No where to go now, ha?!"

"Goodbye, Cruel world!" Sasuke cried as he jumped off the cliff. As he fell, he swore he saw the face of Neji float past. But how was that possible? He was dead... Wasn't he?

"Sasukeee-kuuun." Neji's voice howled in the wind.

"I love youuu. Now we can finally be together, foreverr!"

That being said, Sasuke was finally impaled onto a sharp rock and died tragically.

Back in Konoha, Naruto and Hinata made up and got married, Sakura finally got to go out with her dream girl, and Sai lived happily ever after with the collection of BL pictures that Sakura gave him.

Only... deep in the depths of hell, Sasuke still cries everyday for his darling Naruto while being whipped by the demon lord Neji.

~The End~
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Okay when I read this chapter I was laughing my ass out.
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