Cross My Heart

Chapter 29

Hi.....Getting these chapters out. Heh.

GWEN'S POV:

Gavin woke me up in the morning. I hadn't even set my alarm, because I just didn't care about the stupid house routine now. I was leaving. So screw it. I just didn't like it here. People were mean to me. I wondered why none of the other girls didn't realize that years and years of their lives were wasted and stolen, and that now, they're doing the same stupid stuff they'd always done.
They cooked, and cleaned, and some of them had meaningless sex. Everything they'd always done. Didn't they want something DIFFERENT for once? Maybe if they had someone like Gavin to show them the world outside of the home, they'd see it too. But I wouldn't say anything to anyone, because I didn't want to be responsible if things turned out badly for them.
I would sort of miss Mirabella, if I missed anyone. She was always nice to me. It used to be ALL the girls in the home, I was nice to. But now...it was just her. And I honestly didn't want to stick around long enough for her to turn mean, too. Might as well leave with ONE sort of friend.

Hmmm....leave with a sort of friend.....I wondered if I should come visit her ever? Like, could I do that? Or have her visit me?? I had plenty of time to think about that. As for now, I had to think about packing. The counselors said I could take all of my personal belongings. Clothes, toiletries, etc...
I could even take my sheets and comforter. I didn't need it though. Should I take it just in case? I didn't know. I couldn't decide. I'd ask Gavin what he thought. He was downstairs signing papers and talking with Jodi and Meem. She was still here, doing a double shift.
I packed up my stuff, and put all my toiletries in the backpack Gavin gave me to use, and my clothes and shoes in the large duffle bag he brought for me.
I carried my bear separately.
I folded up my sheets and blankets, and left them on my bed....not sure about them yet.
I sat on the bed and waited for Gavin. I didn't want to go down there. I felt weird.
I was scared and nervous and worried and yet, relieved and excited and in love with Gavin.
I only hoped this would all work out for us. I mean...I was gonna live with him. We were barely even together for very long. Would he get sick of me? Would I be able to handle life in the real world? Even with his help, which I knew would be plentiful. It was just all so scary.

Quiet footsteps rubbed on the carpet into my room. I hadn't heard Gavin come up the steps, so I looked up. It was Jackie.
Oh boy.....

"Hey Gwen....I heard you were leaving the house. Got better plans, eh?"

"Yeah, I....guess.......better schooling and stuff..."

"Well I came to give you a hug, and to apologize for being a bitch. I was jealous. I was jealous of you going out places all the time. And not having to stay here and cook and clean and all that. I wished I could have a boyfriend too. Someone who actually liked me for NOT sex. You know.......Is that what it's like for you? Does he like you for more than just sex?"

Shocked at her honesty and apology, my eyes watered right away. "Yes, Jackie, it IS like that. We haven't even had sex yet, since......that place, when Gus forced us to. He didn't want to have sex with me. He wanted to show me that he could love me without sex. It's the greatest feeling, Jackie. I hope you get to feel it soon. Maybe......you could come hang out with me sometime, and maybe he has some friends?" I laughed, and she laughed.

"Yes! If they're like him, then send them my way, please!!!" Jackie laughed some more, then stepped in to give me a hug. Now, I felt bad about leaving. I'd miss Jackie, now. I missed her before, but that was because I had always liked her and thought of her as a good friend, then she was mean, so I missed our friendship. Whatever sort of strange friendship we all had in that place, that is.
"I'm sorry I wasn't around to hang out with all of you. I just...really love Gavin's company. I cooked and cleaned for 10 years. I just want to get out and LIVE now, ya know? And I hope you get to also", I told her.