Cross My Heart

Chapter 41

My eyes were filled with tears, and I couldn't say anything through the duct tape. I tried. God, I tried.

I didn't know what I needed to say, and saying something wouldn't help, but...I just....needed to talk. And I couldn't. All I could do was make an "mmmmmmm" sound.
I ended up trying to convey what I wanted to say, through my eyes. But that wasn't working either.
So Nate and I just ended up staring at each other for the entire ride. And it was a long one. I don't know how long. It just felt.....long. It must have been a few hours. Maybe three?
I thought of my mum. She must be worried sick about me. She finally got me back and now....she might never see me again. My eyes teared up again at that thought. I had two people to mourn me now. Two people to worry about. Two people I loved. Gavin and my mum. Nate too. I cared for him very much too, of course. I was worried sick about him right now...how could he have been stuck in the middle of all this?

It was still bright day time when they opened the van doors. It hurt my eyes bad at first, until they adjusted to the light.
Gavin had woken up a little bit ago, and I'd had to struggle to turn myself around towards him, with all my taped limbs. I did it, but all I could do was stare at him and cry. It took him a good few minutes to realize where he was and what the hell was happening. I could see the confusion in his eyes.
But when he realized, his eyes teared up and he struggled, but it was no use.
I nodded my head and rolled my eyes to signal Gavin to lift his head and look behind me.
He finally understood me and looked. I watched his eyes widen and the duct tape between the shape of his lips underneath start moving in and out as his breath picked up in panic.
Yes. Nate was here too. To endure whatever was in store for us.
That made me sad. And it definitely made Gavin sad.

They pulled Gavin out first, and I watched them take him into the back of a store. It wasn't a restaurant like I'd thought it would be. It was a...thrift shop or something.
They came back for Nate next, and then me.

They brought me into a room in a basement again. It was a plain room, totally basement-ish. Concrete walls and floors, dingy and musty and cold, with four "cages". One in each corner. They were like small jail cells. Each one had a mattress on the floor. They put us each in our own separate cage. It smelled just like the other basement I'd lived in for 10 years. The smell made me sick to my stomach. Memories flashed back, and I started gagging. I didn't know what I would do, because if I threw up with duct tape over my mouth, I would pretty much...drown, I think?

I was trying. Really really fucking REALLY hard not to vomit. I was trying to control my breathing. Trying to think about the ocean and the waves and the beach and sand....if I threw up, it would horrible. Suffering. And most likely suffocating. I was in deep shit right now.
I looked up once as I gagged, and Gavin was watching me with his eyes full of fear. In between my gags, I could hear him trying to yell.
Dammit Gwen....get your shit together, I thought to myself. I tried so hard.
But in the end, the vomit came up and took over. My mouth stretched along the tape, pulling and stinging. The vomit came up my throat and just laid there in my mouth, trying to come out.

I could hear Gavin screaming in his duct tape. I could hear Nate screaming too. They were both kicking the bars of the human cages. It was loud.

Another heave of vomit came up now, and it had nowhere to go. A lot of it came out of my nose, actually, which was good, but not good enough. I was coughing and struggling to breathe. Vomit was stuck in my throat now, not able to go anywhere. I tried swallowing and that sort of worked a little bit, but then another heave came and I felt like I was going to pass out now. The sounds that were coming from my throat and nose were...I didn't even know. I was suffocating. There was vomit in my nose, chunks stuck in it, I could barely pull air in or out. I was starting to panic now. I was right. I was suffocating. Gavin was going to watch me die a horrible death, right now. I'd never even know if he was ok in the end. I sat there on my butt, hands still taped behind my back and my knees up in front of me and my taped together feet on the ground.
My vision started closing in on me. Everything was turning gray, fast. All I could hear was Gavin and Nate's muffled yelling, and the clanking of the bars and rattling of the cages as they banged on them frantically.