Cross My Heart

Chapter 65

GWEN'S POV:

Today was my last day of tutoring until the fall. Ahhhhh. It was nice to be done. I had another year to do, and I should be all caught up and graduated, having learned everything that normal students learned before they graduated. It was a tough year, I had to say. A lot of work. But I liked it. I loved learning so much new stuff. I had to start easy, because the last time I went to school, was 10 years ago. I did remember a lot, though. I learned some classes even deeper and further than normal students learn, too, which is what I wanted. My favorites this year were Science of course, and Music and Health. I found myself really interested in the health class. I learned a lot about the human body. Some days after lessons, I'd sit and wonder how I was still alive after 10 years of bodily neglect and abuse and starvation and malnourishment. I worried about if I ever had kids. Would they be damaged because of the way I lived in my past? I hoped not.

The tutor had just walked out, with all my books and supplies, until next fall, and I breathed in a sigh of relief, and collapsed onto the sofa and looked around for my phone to text Gavin. He was out with Paul, helping him shop for Tabby's birthday. Paul couldn't afford anything as fancy and expensive as Gavin had done for my birthday back in March. I forgot about birthdays, but my mum reminded me a week before. She gave me a bracelet with different beads on it, that she picked out, that have to do with me or us, or even Gavin. It was so beautiful. And heavy! Each bead was silver, so it must have been a little expensive. She told Gavin about it, and told him to get me a bead or two from him to go on it. You can add beads as you go. He picked out a guitar bead, and a heart, and an infinity sign, and also for some color, an orange bead, like his hair, he said.

My mum's beads were a flower because we're sort of hippyish, an Earth bead, because we love it, a mother and daughter bead, and a pink colorful glass bead. Oh, and Nate bought me a bead, too. A friendship one, only with hearts on it. Gavin rolled his eyes, but smiled when I unwrapped it. The bracelet was just about filled already! And then when I saw my dad after the reunion lunch, HE had a few beads waiting too! A father/daughter bead and a tree, for my family tree that I had discovered and joined. It was the best possible bracelet in the world. Everyone I loved was represented.
But that wasn't Gavin's main idea for a gift. His main idea was a helicopter ride over London. I had seen some helicopters recently, and thought they looked really cool to ride in because they were so small. So that's what he did for me. It was a long ride, too. It was beautiful. And exciting. And also scary, but exhilarating. Then at sunset, he took me to a fancy dinner, but before that, he had a private shopper lady ready to get me dressed for it, at a boutique first, since I was in jeans and a sweater.
That whole experience was pretty fun, too. Trying on dresses while Gavin sat and checked each one out, and finally picked his favorite. He took pics of me in each one, so he could decide. He had the shopping lady cracking up the entire time, too. He was getting sassy, too. When he picked the one he liked, I put it on, then he got up from the sofa he was waiting on and rushed into my dressing room and practically slammed me against the mirror and kissed me like crazy, until he was happy, even leaving a small love bite on my neck just so he could see it all evening at dinner.
It was a wonderful day. Oh, before that all, my mum had baked a cake for me, and they all sang to me, and then the bead bracelet, etc.......

Tabby had admired my bracelet a few times, and I told Gavin that, so I thought he might help Paul build her one. So he and Paul were going to breakfast first, then shopping.

This morning's sexpisode was....intense.
I had been thinking lately about what I could do to sort of...pay Gavin back for being so great about the whole Nate thing.
And I thought of an idea, but it would hurt me. Physically.
But yet...I felt like I wanted to hurt. Like I deserved to hurt. Like if I let him hurt me, I'd feel better somehow. Like I had to be punished for what I did with Nate, so I could fully move on and so Gavin could be rewarded for how he took everything.
I thought about it for a while, and I decided to do it. If Gavin wanted to.
I knew he would want to. He'd admitted in the long ago past that it intrigued him and he wanted to try it. But he knew I'd never want to, because I already knew I HATED it.
Yes. If you're guessing anal sex, then yes.