Love, Life and Uncertainities

chapter2

Lying on bed I looked at the half moon peeking in through my midway open curtains. This moon was as dull as that night was. A lone tear drop escaped my eye and fell into the cold pillow beneath me. Gone were the days of mild, pleasant winters. Now was the time to face severity of weather. I sobbed soundlessly,
Once again remembering the evening when Sam came home. How could I ever forget that night after all. So much had begun and ended in that single night! I closed my eyes in an attempt to get some sleep the umpteenth time now, but once again there was no sleep, only memories of that night replaying...

" uh..I feel something is strangely awkward about that girl Sarah..."

I halted in my track hearing my name in the conversation going on inside the room. No,eavesdropping was not a regular habit of mine. But it was about me. I was curious to know why my name was brought up. The very same voice came again:

"Honey, Sam... Sami trust me, imma girl, i can tell by looking at other girl what she is up to...uh, ok look i think she has feelings for you...uh no, not friendly ones...as in she likes you, yeah, i know its not making sense to you...but m dead sure there is something off, any one can tell this by how she looks at you...Just stay away from her ok ?"

My vision was turning blurry. I couldn't have known who that voice belonged to if i didn't see her there with him. I moved a step forward to the direction of voice.The door to room was left slightly ajar and they were visible. Sitting in very close proximity. YES. SAM AND THAT BLOODY WOMAN!
I was frozen in my spot.

Sam was looking at her maintaining a grim facial expression, as if to contemplate on her words. A moment later he began with a frown, "Are you serious Liza ? that's bullshit. I know how you get jealous, but of her ? you getting jealous of a kid ? Oh come on. She is like five years younger than us"

Liza scoffed: "Oh yeah, and what about being "best friends" with her as she claims ? Look closely, she is still obsessing over that childhood nonsense of friendship, how unobservant you can be Sam ? she brings up those things frequently in comments on Facebook, never forgets to like or comment on your every goddamn picture! Sends you non-stop "loaded" texts"

Walls of my heart were clenching hard now. I couldn't listen anymore. A part of me was telling me to run away while i could, block my ears for good and never listen again what Sam replied her. But other part was signalling me to stay. Something was telling me those words could be dreadful, but I needed to hear them.

Sam inhaled deeply and opened his mouth to exhale, "You are getting all worked up for nothing, are you even hearing yourself ? how nonsense it is, I am meeting her after five years, had only interaction through fb or texts, crush ? feelings ? who would call it "friendship" even ? talk about childhood ? she was a lonesome, huh, clingy child, who tagged along, followed me and i had enough summer time. THATS IT! WHAT ? I couldn't push her away she was motherless child"

Both of them paused for a while. Sam's glance on her face softened. He moved forward and cupped her cheek:
" whatevah...she couldn't be my type anyway. I have eyes for one lady and thats you". Oh, how his voice had changed magically, so tender...it wasn't the same Sam who was talking about me...

THAT. WAS. IT.

Their faces were not visible to me after that. I had closed my eyes. I couldn't take in any more of it. Or else I could have vomited every single thing out of my stomach.

I turned around and bumped hard into something. There was noise of things shattering on the ground.

"Oh my God! You clumsy child, open your eyes!! you have broken my new china tea set!!! And why on earth were you coming back with tray? didn't you find Sam and Liza inside ?"

Liza was my step mom's niece and Sam's classmate. I got this "breaking news" that very same evening. That pretty much answered my curiosity of what Liza was doing at my house, more like my step mom's house. Sam's mom was also a common friend.

The door behind me creaked and "the couple" came out on hearing the screeching high pitched voice of my step mom. Great. I thought this couldn't get any more worse. But guess what? I was wrong. My misery was never ending. Three of them were examining me like I was some freak who had lost her mind. I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole so I could escape them.

So instead of answering them I bent down and began collecting the "broken china" in my hands. I straightened up and stepped forward to trashcan. I still could hear someone mumbling behind me "weird...?"

I had no stamina left to face them any longer so I excused myself from the dinner and hurried to my room. Granpa kept asking me "what happened?" but i just moved faster, taking steps up to my room as swiftly as i could. Hell i was running for my life!

I shut the door and dropped my body on the bed. Tears were unstoppable now. My whole face and side bangs were drenched wet within no time. Those were some salty worthless droplets falling on the bed sheets. Not tears. Needed to be taken out. All of it.

I felt like tattered, ripped apart. Like someone had slapped me in the face and then called me on dinner for public demonstration. Humiliation...? May be i was humiliated. I was too naive to get it.

"...tagged along..."

"clingy child..."

"...friendship ??"

???????????????????
HE NEVER CONSIDERED ME A FRIEND EVEN!

Oh Gawdddd!!

I wasn't that girl they were talking about. I couldn't be. Who was he ? Some indifferent stranger ?

He wasn't that Sam i knew. Ah-ha-hah!. But then again I never got to know him. All I could think about was a Sam from my imaginary world. My stupid, stupid fantasies!

What was I thinking ? "...obsessing over childhood nonsense...". Oh how difficult it was to weep staying mute, when all i wanted to do was SCREAM!!

SCREAM ON TOP OF MY LUNGS CAPACITY!!

I didn't give a damn to what was happening downstairs. Just kept hiccuping, drinking my own tears with empty stomach and closed my eyes.

But they were right! So right. Facebook, texts, crush ???? Now even I could laugh in my face. Make joke of myself. That i almost had done. Why was I so naive ? oh, why ? Those stupid romance books with "happily ever afters" that i had stuffed my brain with. They had gotten to me. I wanted to punch those stupid unrealistic authors in their guts! THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE.What was I imagining ? My life would be like those cliche "love stories" ? That there would be some twists and turns, but in the end all would be fine ? and Sam would come to me realizing his "true love" for me ? But guess what ? I was still holding onto this little hope that he would, somehow notice me. That he would come back one day. But that day never came. I was the girl he never noticed...

I jerked open my eye lids with the banging sound of doors shutting and engine roaring ? was that some car ? I got up from my bed and stepped down, a shiver ran up my spine as my bare toes touched the cold tiles. Opening the door to balcony, i peeked down and saw my dad and step mom going somewhere.

Great. Now I was all alone in that horrible cold night!

......................................................

A/N

So yeah, this was it for this chapter. This may be was the first lesson for Sarah!

There is real good stuff coming your way in next chapters now. So hold your breath :p N PLEASE READ. COMMENT. VOTE!

THANX FOR APPRECIATION FOR THE FIRST CHAPTER :)