Love, Life and Uncertainities

Chapter 5: Good Byes, New Me and New Life

This chapter is dedicated to my friend Tasveeb Afzal Meher, for being such a regular reader, for her every single comment that keeps me going! HBD buddy ;)
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Now was the time to go. To leave home. No more delay. So, here I was standing with grandpa, Dad and his wife, after my suitcase and bags were safely loaded in the back of car. A few moments after the awkward silence, dad had left with his wife giving me a brief departing 'bye and best of luck' and tight smile. They walked away and i kept looking at their backs before my granpa interrupted.

"Let them go. Let it all go"

I snapped back to granpa and he nodded, " Go ahead, plunge into the sea of world and make your mark. You have a long way to go." By this time driver had sat in the driving seat, all set to go. Granpa eyed him and sighed.

"Now, now young lady, its time for you to go, remember what I said earlier and I trust you to take care of yourself"

I could just sigh in response
" Please take care of yourself too,  and I surely would remember your words, how can I forget" . There was this sound of car honking that made grandpa step forward and shove me into the back car seat. He patted my head and gave me a wide good bye smile,

"Good Bye. Sarah"

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Sitting in the corner seat of quiet bus, by the window, i closed my eyes and let the wind stroke my face and hair. I have let them untied, free. As my life was going to be. Well, that was the plan.

"Good bye. Sarah". Voice of granpa echoed in my ears. It reminded me that I too had set of 'goodbyes' to say. Though not in person, just virtually in mind. But that had to be done. So,… it should begin with me,

"Good bye. Old Sarah"

"Good Bye Home"

"Good bye. Sam"

Good bye, bittersweet memories of childhood, terrible days of growing up alone, cold lonely nights, scrutinizing, belittling eyes of people. Good Bye.

I had closed those chapters in my mind, but didn't realise some windows to them were still open.

Saying goodbye to everything old and painful at right time in life is very important. I wish I knew it back then.

Bus came to a halt and I opened my eyes. It was five in the evening and sun was setting. I was last to step out of the bus. I took a deep breath. It was in that moment, it completely hit me.

Life had changed.

I forced my legs to move forward and my eyes roamed around to find any familiar face. None found. All i could see was a sea of unfamiliar faces, heads after heads, ready to engulf me. I loudly gulped. It could be a 'no big deal' for most of the people, but it was for me, for I had never been all alone among strangers.

It was new to me. A city of strangers.

But it was just the beginning. After a moment of staying totally lost and paused, I activated my brain and revived my senses, to revise the directions to hostel I had to stay in.

Hostel was located on walking distance, so i reached there in mere 15 minutes (which could have been ten if i was not scared to move). Some people were walking through the long passage of the hostel building, while others were sitting on benches, reading books or chit chatting . It was a long, broad passage with marble flooring. I dragged my suitcase behind me and readjusted bag's strap on my  shoulder.