Love, Life and Uncertainities

Chapter 8: Present and Past

Zain Hassan.

That face had a name too

It suited him...well, what can I say, what do I know about him...?

But then again what do I know about people in general ?...my judgement has misguided me before too...

I was so lost in the 'internal conversation' with myself that I didn't realize the same person, with his friends, was walking towards our row.

"Ehm ehm". He cleared his throat. "Can we have seats in your row ?"

I didn't realize he was talking to me ? or Nati ?

Whoever, I didn't have time to process it because Nati was already replying him, with full front teeth on display. "Oh why are you asking us ? are you trying to be a gentleman ?"

He shot a toothy-wide grin in response, while his friends chuckled in the background. "Oh well, to your first question 'why am I asking you". He made comas in the air using his index fingers. "Because you are blocking our way to the seats". Nati's smile faded and she realized she had her foot in their way. While she was adjusting, he spoke again. "And to your second question, if you still need to know, "I don't need to try". With that he smirked and walked by us to his seat and his friends sat beside him with loud laughter.

Mr. Hart noticed the laughter. "Is there anything I need to know ? Or rather class need to know ? would you 'two' like to share it with us". They stopped laughing that instant. Mr. Hart flashed his teeth and chuckled. "Never mind"

What's up with everyone showing 'toothy-grins' today ?

..................................................................................................................................................................

"So his name is Zain".

Nati commented while putting her bag on the side table of her side of the bed.
Class had gone pretty smooth after that 'seat incident' so after we were done with all classes we walked back to the hostel. We had just reached our dorm room.

"Yes, nice name but why are we talking about him?" I furrowed my brows at her, opened the cupboard, threw my bag in and brought out pajamas and a loose t-shirt to get comfortable.

She just shrugged her shoulders. "He was really rude, Nati"

"He was rude to me, Sari, not to you. He was looking at you all through the class, didn't you notice ? And i guess he was being rude to me because he wanted you to reply, he was talking to you, not me". She was giving me that evil look now.

I loudly sighed.

"What Nati ? Stop making things out of nothing and no, i didn't notice because its not happening. He was not talking to me and he was not looking at me. No one does. Its all in your head"
I sat on my bed, yanked the blanket forward and opened my laptop.

I entered my password and got to the desktop. There was an old picture of me and grandpa I had used as background picture, two days before I was leaving for college. I smiled at the picture.

Nati was silent for past few seconds now (which isn't normal for her at all) keeping her eyes fixed on me with a straight face. I knew she was trying to see through me, read me. So i kept my eyes on laptop and ignored her. Finally she snapped.

"Sari, what happened ? why do you get so bitter about these things ?"

"I don't"

"You do"

"I. Do. Not."

"You. Do."

I raised my eyes and she raised both of her eye brows at me giving me that look, challenging me to disagree. I sighed knowing I cannot win this argument with her.

"Ok, whatever". I shrugged my shoulders. I needed to get away from Nati's further remarks, immediately.

"Nati I am going to washroom". I straightened my legs and jumped off the bed. I was exiting the door when Nati shouted behind me. "Ok go, I am going to use your laptop for a while, Sari"

I just nodded my head and kept walking to the washroom, passing through the veranda. It was a windy evening and I had forgot to put on sweater before coming out of room. Everyone was inside their rooms, a deafening silence prevailing through the passage, or was that some echo of my deaf thoughts ?

I didn't want to go back there, in my past, not even in my head.

Reasons of my bitterness lie there...

I entered washroom, turned on the tap and splashed cold water on my face. It calmed me down a little.

I didn't want to be 'that girl' again. I am not that girl, not anymore, who devastates herself over a guy, whose world revolves around a single man on the earth and who wakes up every morning because he exists. He is the soul purpose of her existence. I was never that girl. I always ridiculed such women. How had I become the one ?

Never again.
I wouldn't stoop that low ever again.

I went back to the room and saw Nati gaping with open mouth on something displayed on my laptop screen.

"What are you looking at Nati ?"

Instead of replying me, she looked at my face, opened her mouth to say something, closed again and looked back at laptop.

She kept doing this for whole five minutes. I sighed and stepped forward to see it myself.

My facial expressions were identical to Nati's, after finding out what she was seeing.

Those were pictures of Sam !