Hey Moon (Ryden)

Chapter 10-Dismal

Ryan's POV

"So how did you like the town?" Asks Brendon looking up from his phone, picking a song for us to listen to on our venture out side of my house. It's a very precise selection process you see.
"Um yeah it's great." I answered vaguely, trying not to sound like I was kinda not telling the truth.

Gerard Way's beautiful voice filled our ears as we shuffled closer to each other so we don't rip out each other's headphones. Only for that reason, right? My heart thought it necessary to pump faster either way. Oh my Sun, the effect you have on me.. We walk closer still and I feel the side of Brendon's hand brush against mine. How I wish I could just grab it was normal. Sure, we held hands the first day we met but now, as much as I would love too, I'd definitely end up embarrassing myself. A lot.

The song changed and Brendon's face lit up.
"I love this song so much! PUT ON YOUR WAR PAINT!" He screamed so a woman walking down the street with her kid crossed the road to get away from him. I nearly died laughing.

"Bren shut up!" I exclaimed through my laughter.

"You know you liked it." He said winking at me jokingly.

"Pft you wish. I do love that Fall Out Boy album though, it's my favourite."

"Hmm I think Infinity On High is mah fave." He says in a 'matter of fact tone'.
We carry on debating albums and I learn that The Black Parade is his favourite MCR album (Ohh well look at lthat, it's mine too) until we're only a couple meters away from the school gates. I suddenly remember I wanted to ask Brendon if he'd come to the music rooms today with me.

"Hey Brendon? Would you maybe...want to go to the m-music rooms today?" Damn I sound nervous. Probably because I am. Idiot. He just giggled.

"Yeah of course I'll always come with you. You seem anxious today, what's up?" He looks up to see where he's going then at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Okay awesome, and I'm just uh tired." Just tired? Really Ryan? Smooth. Real smooth. Brendon seems to have not noticed my look of disapproval aimed towards myself and just smiles at me. We hadn't seen Josh, Tyler, Alex, or Jack ever since the first time we had gone to the music rooms where we worked out the melody for Brendon's song (which I named: She Had The World) and I planned to keep it that way.

We walked into the school gates and no one noticed us. I liked it. We carried on walking to the other side of the school to get to our hiding place. How the hell has no one noticed this place yet?! It's right here! Even though I do believe everyone else is stupid for not finding it, I don't want them too. It's me and Brendon's place.

He entered the passcode and looked around before shuffling us both in. I grinned and ran over to the guitars like after our piano jam last time. Brendon followed but sat on one of the piano stools available. Bringing his bag off his shoulder he brought out his lyric book at opened to a page quite far down in the note book. I picked out an electro-acoustic guitar but didn't plug it into an amp. I went over to Brendon and sat beside him so the neck of my guitar was crossed over his chest.

Some songs we had written together we're okay too. We had written one called I Write Sins Not Tragedies. I loved this one even though we both have no idea were the lyrics came from and what they mean. There was also this one which didn't have a name but it was supposed to have clicking of fingers on the verse but jazz hands on the chorus. This one was fun too.

Looking over his shoulder as I strum random chords I see some lyrics he's written down.
'Hey Moon, please forget to fall down.
Hey Moon, don't you go down.'

"Those are good." I say but see his face blush bright red. I guess I wasn't supposed to see them? He's let me look through everything else though?

"Umm thanks..." He trailed off, finding my eyes.

"Do you need help writing the rest of it?" I offer. Well I've seen them now, he can't deny it!

"Yeah that'd be great actually."

"Okay cool so what's this one about?" I instantly regret those words when I see his face go a deeper red if it was even possible. Seeing how uncomfortable he was I decide to just let the question slip but was surprised I got an answer.

"It's about...umm...someone I like." My heart shatters so hard I was expecting us to both hear it. Brendon avoids eye contact and my thoughts are interrupted by an unwelcome voice.
Well what did you think would happen? He would never like you Ryan! What were you doing thinking that there was even a tiny chance of you two being together? Get a grip.

I know the voice is right  but I was still beside myself with...grief? I don't know I've never felt this before. It was like a twang of overwhelming pain right to the heart.
"Oh" Was all I could say because I couldn't trust myself to carry on otherwise the lump growing in my throat would threaten to impact my voice. His breath was shaky and so was mine.

 Why should he be shaky? Who could possibly be that lucky in order to make Brendon Urie like this. I think of how they make him feel. Warm, fuzzy, like you have a meaning? All the things I feel for Brendon. Except he wasn't feeling them for me. Just some other guy.

Has he been keeping him secret from me? Why didn't he tell me before I got too attached? This is all my fault! I was just hanging around then I fell in love. I don't know how but I can't get out.