Hey Moon (Ryden)

Chapter 21- An Exchanging of Words

(A/N just saying thank you to everyone who has voted and commented on this story so far, comments are my favourite thing so they're very much appreciated! Thank you)

Ryan's POV

"Dare me to jump off this Jersey bridge, I bet you've never had a Friday night like this"

I swear to Gerard Way this song has been in my head for about a week ever since Jon mentioned Spencer being a king or something, I don't know he's a bit weird.

"Dude shut up singing that song already you aren't even singing Kellin's part right!" Criticizes Brendon with obvious irritation.

"I can't help it! And I don't exactly have the amount of pure talent that Kellin does. Or Vic for that matter." I reply as I swing the old guitar over my shoulder and go to join him on the piano. Over these few months I've decided that this one I my favourite, the old, rundown, and kinda shabby one. It's always appeared to have character to me. Yeah yeah, it's an inanimate object but you know what I mean. Brendon's hands slip over the keys delicately.

"Where were we at in that song again?" I ask while playing the into to 'Wake me up when September ends'

"Ummmmm it was right after the watermelon smiles bit I think. Hey, wouldn't it be great to be in a band one day? Like a real famous band? OMG I could meet Kellin! And then he would take us on tour with him and - " Brendon sighs lovingly and buries his head into his hands.

"Yeah? Who'd be In this band with you?"

"You, Jon, and Spencer obviously! You know I was actually in this stupid little band when I was like 12. There was this guy called Brent and he turned out to be a right prick. That little shit stole my Oreos! So I quite the band." He retells the story like its some ancient scroll he's reciting or something. Always so dramatic but I love it.

"Pfft what would I do in this made up band of yours? Wait did you really quit the band because some guy stole your Oreos? "

"Yeah! I'm telling you Ry this guy was bad news. You'd totally play guitar and be the lead singer obviously!"

"WHAT I can't sing for shit Bren you know that!"

His head whipped round and he gaped (or should I say 'gayped') at me in absolute shock. WhAT? He knows I don't like my voice. I literally sound like someone  attempting to sound like Mark Hoppus on helium. Badly. I wish I had a better voice that sang some better words.

The next few minutes was spent  arguing over who has a better voice out of us two. I definitely vote Brendon all the way but he isn't having any of it. Remember that time I had to sing the words to his song because he started crying so he couldn't sing it? Yeah, I totally ruined the song. Team Brendon all the way wooooo!!!

Before I knew it, the song we had been previously writing was actually nearly finished and I had fallen in love with it. Our lyrics put together was the most perfect thing. It's art. My favourite artist is Brendon. Music to me will always be my favourite form of art and I don't honestly understand when someone says the only art is a painting or drawing. Some people must be so closed minded.

Thinking about it, I don't even know where my love for music even came from. My mum only willingly plays cheesy 80's music and my dad... I don't even know what he was into. Never really spent that much time around him so I didn't even get to know his favourite colour, or takeaway food, or favourite Christmas film or what he thought of me at all. He could have hated me with a passion for all I know.

Anyway, my parent status is far more privileged than Brendon's. His own dad jumped off a bridge and his mum abuses him whenever he sticks around long enough at home for christs sake. I can and will never be able to understand what that feels like. Never in a million years.

However, I know that he thinks he's not loved by anyone. That's a lie. And I've thought about it for a long time. I've had debates with myself whether it's too soon but it's already been months since we first met.

People always say: 'Oh you're too young to be in love' or 'don't you think it's a bit soon?' But the real truth is that love shouldn't have a boundary. It shouldn't be like a ride at the fair saying you have to be this old to experience it. It's a feeling for gods sake and a pretty powerful one. You'll never know it's happened until you turn around and notice all these signs you've never noticed before. And if Brendon feels unloved, someone's going have to make up for his mothers lost words, his fathers constant reminder of how he's not there to show Brendon he loves him. I need to show that I love him. The horrible, on-going problem is, I don't know how to tell him.

I know my anxiety is improving and everything but I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words in my head: "I love you", "I don't"

What if he thinks it's too fast anyway?
It's hardly like I'm asking him to move in with me ( he practically does anyway) but you know. It's like kissing him for the first time, telling my mum about us, even starting my first day at this school.

Wait...all them things ended up good, right? So it's exactly like that. I need to tell him. And soon. I need someone to help me plan everything if I want to make it special.

I need to talk to Jon.