Queens

1.3: Melanie

*Eating disorder trigger warning*

I'm the last one to wake up, as always. I never have much energy, so I need all the sleep I can get.

After slipping on a pink collared dress, I walk to the informal dining room and am greeted by five voices wishing me a good morning, plus several nods from various servants and waitresses.

I have trouble keeping my eyes open as the waitresses bring food around to those who don't have it yet. The women and men in the kitchen have learned to steer clear of me at meal time, and I've learned to slip an extra ten dollars into the daily paycheck of anyone who just smiles and walks away, as opposed to taking my order.

I notice a new girl on the staff today. She's blonde and is smiling nervously at everyone. I understand completely that she's feeling skittish on what must be her first week, so I make sure to smile extra wide at her when she walks up to me. The smile falters, however, when the dreaded words come from her mouth: "What can I get you for breakfast, Princess Melanie?"

I blink slowly, but quickly regain my composure and grin at her sweetly. "Nothing, thank you. I'm not hungry this morning."

She raises one eyebrow. "But, Princess, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It provides energy that will sustain you for the morning, and even the rest of the day."

I purse my lips together and look around. No one's looking, at least. The last thing I want to do is draw attention to myself at this time. "I'm really okay. Thank you for looking out for me, though." Princess Melanie must be Princess Perfect. I repeat that over and over in my head. Princess Perfect, be kind, be charming, Princess Perfect, be composed, be pretty, Princess Perfect, be everything they say you are and more.

"Are you sure, Princess?" the waitress pushes. "I know you have a UN meeting today, and you must have-"

"I'm fine, thank you," I interrupt, looking at her sternly. She doesn't seem to pick up on my tone.

"I'm supposed to provide you with sustenance, Princess, and I want to make sure that-"

"Thank you so much, Miss, but I'm really not hungry," I interrupt yet again. She opens her mouth to say something else, but I hold up one finger and smile. "Would you excuse me for a second, please?"

I make sure no one's looking or paying attention as I get up and walk through the gold and white hallway to the lounge room.

I check around me again before locking myself in the main bathroom. The second the door closes and the lock clicks, I break down. Tears stream freely down my face and when I wipe them away, my hand comes back stained with last night's mascara.

This is fine. I'm strong. I fought against the urge to eat, that makes me strong, right?

I unlock my phone and open up my notes. Yesterday I ate 500 calories, according to my log. I shoot for 400 a day, so I went 100 over, and now I have to make that up. 300 for today will be fine. There will be food at the UN meeting, so I'll eat something there for appearances, then nothing else. It's fine. This is okay. This will be fine.

What am I going to do about that waitress? I can't get her fired, that would be terrible, but I can't let her make a scene at every meal I have here. For now, I guess I'll just go back to the dining room and act really engaged in conversation (even though I can hardly focus). That way, she won't want to interrupt.

I look in the mirror. My eyes are a bit red, so I pat some cold water under them with my fingers until they return to normal. Shoulders back, Princess Perfect. Chin up, Princess Perfect. Smile wide, Princess Perfect.

I will never be perfect enough.
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Dear reader,
I love Melanie's character so much and I hope you guys love her too!
Let me know if this was too triggering, okay? Take care of yourself.
Btw we forgot to put up Tyler's chapter aesthetic on the last chapter but I just added it if you wanna go see that :)
Hope your Friday has been and continues to be awesome! Have a great weekend!
Love,
Lo
PS. What are y'all doing this weekend?