Queens

2.1: Ashley

The main perk of being an important person at these UN publicity events is that we get to meet all of the people that are slightly less important than us on a large scale, but more important than us in the media. For example, I'm talking to Emma Watson about my cause.

I know that Emma is a classic case of white feminism, trying to find a way to make our movement about men saving women with He for She and coming close to ignoring women of color as an important part of feminism, but it's still an honor to meet her. Plus, she's super hot, so that's a plus.

She's interviewing me for a video her people are making about "royal feminism," whatever that means. She asks me the typical questions about my cause: "Which shelters in particular are you supporting?" "What are you doing to help?" "Why is this cause important to you?" I answer with my usual answers about how I've met a lot of women who are victims of domestic abuse and I saw how it crushed them, so this is my way of trying to help survivors live a happy and safe life.

After the interview, I'm shaking. I hate being filmed; I know that whatever I say will live on forever. Unfortunately, it's in the princess job description. I look around, and turn so I'm facing the wall before grabbing one of my many shot-sized bottles of vodka from my purse and downing it. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder and a giggle. Shit.

I shove the bottle back in my purse and turn around to see Emma smiling at me and putting a finger over her mouth. She touches my arm lightly and I breathe in sharply at the touch. "Don't worry," she chuckles. "I won't tell." She smiles and walks away. If I was a boy, I would have a boner, but thank Jesus, Mary, and Joseph that I was blessed with a vagina, so no one notices how freaking bisexual I am when it comes to Emma Watson. Oh god. I can't be having these thoughts right now.

I start to walk towards the bathroom to take a shot in peace, but I pass Josh doing an interview and hear my name mentioned. He immediately starts floundering, stuttering and laughing nervously. I think about ignoring him and continuing my walk, but I suddenly feel a soft spot for him. He is my best friend. Plus, if I don't save him, we'll get a whole lot of shit from our publicist.

I glide over to him with a convincing smile plastered on my face. "Hey, babe," I coo, slipping my arm around him. Then I pretend like I'm just now noticing the cameras because I'm so in love that I can't see anything but him. "Oh, I'm so sorry, did I interrupt something?"

The interviewer smiles, knowing that I just turned the interview into a viral video of Europe's favorite couple. "Not at all, we were just talking about you."

I smile sweetly. "Aw, you were talking about me, honey?" I gush, putting my free hand on Josh's chest, making it look like we just can't get enough of each other.

He grins, trying to regain his composure. "Well, you're all I want to talk about, you know that." The crowd around us lets out a unanimous awwwwwwwww and it physically hurts me not to roll my eyes.

I turn my head to face the camera as the interviewer asks us some questions, but I keep the front of my body pressed against his side, my arms wrapped around him. He kisses me on the cheek once and the top of my head twice. I hope he's doing alright. At least I like boys half of the time. He likes boys 100% of the time, and he has to pretend to be gaga over me.

Once the cameras turn off, I grab his hand and continue my walk to the bathroom, planning the drop him when we get to the door so I have an excuse to get away from him. I smile at the people looking at us and lean over to whisper in his ear, "You can thank me later."

He forces out a short laugh and whispers, "I was doing fine and I didn't need you to save me."

I scoff and lean back to his ear so it looks romantic. "Well obviously, you did," I say.

"I don't understand why that woman even had to ask about you when there are obviously much more important things for me to talk about," Josh complains, keeping the smile on his face.

I let out yet another scoff. "Now you know how every woman celebrity feels in an interview, now shut up and kiss me because people are getting suspicious." He turns to me and kisses me quickly, and I let go of his hand to walk into the lady's room.

After downing two more shots, my third and fourth of the night, I breathe a sigh of relief and silently thank whoever invented vodka.

I can't stop thinking about how crazily unlucky I was to be paired up with my best friend to fake date. It takes all of the fun out of seeing each other when we have to worry about keeping up appearances as opposed to just hanging out. Was I too rude to him? "Aw, fuck," I sigh, pushing myself off the closed toilet. I have to go apologize.

I walk out of the bathroom and search around for a few minutes before seeing him. Of course, he's cozying up with Tyler. Dammit. Why can't this guy ever stay away from his little crush? I grab a glass and fill it halfway with water, discreetly filling the rest with vodka, and drink it all in about 30 seconds, all the while watching Josh ruin the picture of the beautiful couple we painted for everyone tonight in one conversation with his "not" gay friend.

Oh, the joys of dating a gay guy.
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Dear reader,
Hope you liked this more extensive look into Ashley's personality and thoughts! I feel like no one's reading this anymore :( Leave us a comment or vote if you're still here and we'll send you some love! Love you so much <3333
Love,
Lo
Ps. I'm in San Francisco right now! What ciry would you live in if money played no factor?