Queens

3.4: Josh

3.4: Josh

"This is going to be a tough session. I need your help." Abie bursts out just as I begin to settle into the cushions.

I like to keep tabs on the others, and as the oldest, I feel both an obligation and a responsibility for their well being. A lot of the time, that means cleaning up messes or being damage control, but I don't mind.

"Josh, please tell me what's really been going on with your friends," Abie asks me, firmly placing her hands in her lap.

"Abie..." I scratch the back of my neck and exhale.

"Josh..." she imitates me a little condescendingly.

"Abie...I-I can't do that..." my stomach broils with indecision. I'm Abie's eyes and ears, and I do that so she can help us. I take care of the gang, that's just what I've always done.

I care, but I don't snitch.

"Josh," she repeats. "This is about to get very, very difficult if you don't help me now." She stares me right in the eye, refusing to break eye contact. Abie is one of the strongest people I know, and her eyes aren't any weaker than her attitude. Wanting to diffuse the tension and stop those eyes from boring into me, I relent.

"Okay, okay," I sigh. "Mel's not doing well. They're all not doing well. Tyler... he's... out of it. It's been... rough, I guess." I avoid the question lamely.

Abie's long fingers point to a manila folder on the table between us. The bomb has dropped.

"Josh, please, I was counting on you. You're always the man when it comes to covering up for everyone else, but you've been slipping!" Her hand shuffles over a bunch of papers, and I see blaring headlines concerning drinking, drugs, and romantic scandals. "You're usually so smooth during interviews... what's been up?"

Here we go. "Abie, I--"

"I mean, just this most recent UN conference, you looked like you were about to murder Ashley, Mar was off with her new boy toy, Tyler couldn't go a single interview without cracking, and Ella was doing her usual thing, deflecting perfectly simple questions left and right. It was an absolute mess to clean up." She stops for a moment after her rant to regroup. "You and Melanie... you're the only ones that can handle the group. You and Melanie... Josh and Melanie..." She looks thoughtfully to the right, out of her window for a view of a perfect city skyline and then snaps her head back to me. "I've got it. You and Melanie are going to be spending a lot of time together." She smiles wide, almost menacingly.

"Woah, woah, woah," It's a lot to take in at once. "I'm sorry," I begin, but don't know where to go from there. I lean forward. "Abie, you know I've been looking out for everyone. I've always looked out for everyone. I just think it's too..." I pause for a moment, not able to fully say what I mean. "Never mind. It was an accident, and next week won't be anything like this week. I'm really sorry, and it won't happen again."

I can see the guilt seep into her tone, but Abie's determined, and now there's nothing stopping her. "Of course it's okay, but we can't have slip ups like this again. I've been busting my butt day and night for you guys, but when one disaster is over, another knocks me down." Abie's fingers find their way to her temples and gentle massage them. Her voice lowers to a whisper. "It's just been really difficult.' She lets out a ragged breath. Oh no.

Every single person reacts to stress differently, but Abie only gets angry. She rarely gets upset, but her figure curling up into her chair tells me that she's everything but okay right now.

"Hey Abie, it won't be like this again, I promise. I'll take care of everything, and, ah, I'll even talk to Mel about it." I squirm in my seat, but Abie is unrelenting. I take another glance down at the papers and just sigh. Now it's my responsibility to take care of a drunkard, an emo, a spoiled brat, a skeleton, and a freak. My friends. The strongest people I know. I love them to death.

"Thank you, thank you," Abie melts into relief. "You're a godsend Joshie! There's no way around it."

I put on my best smile and nod. "Thanks, Abie," I reply graciously.

I'm 24 years old and already a dad of half a dozen twentysomethings. Wonderful.

How can your best blessings turn out to also be the worst curses?

_____________

Dear readers,

I love Josh Dun.

That's all.

Much love,

J

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