go: lrh♡

《Chapter 19》

We all read the note one last time after Ambry's funeral. She was fifteen. She had been waiting to go to a 5 Seconds Of Summer concert for ten months.

"Dear fivesos" Michael started
"I've been he-here from the start. I hit a time in my life where I was ready to go, but then I clicked on a little link for a YouTube video, which luckily was one of yours. You've kept me here for a year now. Th-thank you." Michael takes a deep breath and continues.
"Dear Ashton, You inspired me to start drumming. My teachers would scream at me to stop drumming on my desk, but I did it anyway. Thank you for helping me so much.
"De-dear Calum, I got a Sharpie roman numeral tattoo on my collar bone because of you. You're the reason I freak out and yell "Go Cal!" everytime I he-hear the bass in you guys' songs. Thank you."
"Dear Luke, I have f-fallen asleep to your voice every night with a smile on my face. Your voice waves will forever mess with my breathing. Thank y-you for making me want to stay until I fell asleep to listen to your voice."
Lots of tears trailed down Michael's cheeks. This part was hard for him to get through. He let out a long breath and started up again.
"Dear Michael, I need to thank you the most. You always put a s-smile on everyone's face. I swear if we would ever have met we would have been best fr-fr-friends. You kept me here for so long, you k-keeped me going stro-o-ong." He had to pause and wipe his eyes.
"So thank you guys. I can't thank you enough for keeping me here for so long. But she was right, you'll never know I excist. I was ready. I love you."

We were all crying and shaking as we went to the car, except for Gen. Genevieve hasnt said a thing, or shed a tear all day. She just hugs us all and looks into the distance with a blank face.

Luke tries to cheer us up by going to watch a movie at Calum's house, but no one wants to. When Luke and I arrived at his house nobody was home.

"I think Genna needs help." I tell Luke. She hasnt talked since yesterday when she said it was her fault. He nods.

"I understand if you need to take her back. We'll be back in a month..." he whispers.

"One long month." I whine.

"When are you planning on going?"

"Maybe the day after tomorrow depending on how she's feeling tomorrow."

He nods as we lay down in our normal sleeping position on the couch. I don't know how we managed to hold each other so tight, but we did. We were squeezing each other so tight that I couldn't feel my legs, but I honestly didn't mind.

"I love you." He breathes.

"I love you too Lukers."

●○●○●○

Calum found a blade in Genna's bag last night, so we are on our way home. She just cried and slept and cried some more the whole plane ride there. I rubbed her back and told her everything would be okay. She's heard it probably a million times, and I honestly don't think she believes us anymore. She has only gone down hill.

We walked into the empty house. She just fumbled over to the beanbag chairs and fell asleep. I tried to turn on the TV but she complained about the noise. I tried to get her to eat but she said she wouldn't be able to swallow it. She complained about an elephant sitting on her heart.

●○●○●○

Five days have gone by and she's only got up to go to the bathroom. I got her to eat some M&Ms, but she only ate a dozen. She has huge bags under her eyes and she smells really bad, for she hasn't taken a shower since we arrived.

"Genna... you need to take a shower. You stink really bad."

"Thanks. Okay." She pushes my red blanket off of her. I help her stand up and walk her to the bathroom.

"I can take it from here." She says, shooing me out of the bathroom. I didn't hear the water start to run so I went back to check on her.

"GENNA!" I scream. She has taken the blade that is suppose to be for my razor that I shave my legs with, to her wrist. I ripped it out of her hand and threw it away. She just laughed. I dabbed her wrist with a hot wash cloth. I started her shower and stayed in the bathroom with her until she was done.

She walked out onto the patio, where I was sitting. She wore a short sleeved shirt, not even trying to hide her arms that were wrapped in bandages.

"Genna... I'm worried about you." I tell her straight forward.

"Well you shouldn't be. I'm okay."

"Lies!" I laugh harshly.

"And what if they are? Someone ended their life because of something I said!" she screams, putting her face in her hands.

"That is so not true." I told her, going to hug her. She rejects my hug and goes to stand in the corner of the patio.

"She said it in the note! She said the guys were keeping her alive and I ruined it! Yeah, sure, she shouldn't have said all that stuff, but I shouldn't have said something so inconsiderate!"

There was a moment of silence.

"Sydney. I think I need to go home. Like, home."

"Wait. You want to go back to Missouri?" I ask, confused.

"I just need to be home with my dad right now. I need to be in my own room with my own family."

"But- but we moved here to-"

"Well look how it's turning out Syd! I'm not getting anywhere, we're being replaced at work... maybe it's time to stop."

My chest went heavy. I've been waiting years to do what I'm doing now. There is no way in hell that I am leaving this early.

"Gen! We seriously are just starting out! We can do this!"

"No Sydney, you can do this. I'm going home."

"I thought..."

"I'm going to pack my stuff. See you when you make it."

What happened? Where is my Genna? My happy, outgoing Genna that jumped at the idea of moving to LA with me? I don't understand.

I heard the door slam, and I knew she was gone. I tore through the house out the front door and tumble to her car. I smack the driver-side window with my palm, crying at the sight of my best friend leaving my side for the first time in over a decade. She just laughs and shakes her head, pulling out of the driveway.

I sit Indian-style in the driveway, just thinking.

She gave up.

●○●○●○

I Skyped the guys everyday. They all seemed fine. Michael was doing a lot better, Luke was smiling and Ashton was too. Calum was laughing and being himself again. Everyone was doing better. They come home in four days and I absolutely can not wait. I've been cleaning my house non-stop, I've broken a few strings on my guitar, and I've written down a few melodies too.

I locked Genevieve's door. I took down the signs and decorations she hung up all around the house and locked them in her bedroom as well. This is my house now.

I live here by myself, without my best friend.

●○●○●○

The guys are suppose to come home tomorrow! I could seriously explode from excitement. I was cleaning my room one last time before I went to bed, it was eleven o'clock at night and I was about to try to go to sleep, even though I would just be getting up in a few hours to meet the guys, Ashley and Hope at the airport.

Buzzz. Buzzz.

I run over to my phone to see who was calling. There was a knock at the door but I have a sign on my door that says 'No Solicitors' for a reason.

Luke answered the phone.

"Lu-" I started, but he cut me off.

"Oh my gawd Sydney!" he yelled "I know we were suppose to come home tomorrow but..." he hesitated. The tone he was using was making me nervous.

"What happened?"

"Th-they-"