I Love You, Always

Chapter 24

Day

Eden and I are leaving today. There's a quiet sadness hanging over us as we pack, knowing that in a few short hours a jet will be here to take us home. Home. What a strange word. Just four letters long, arranged in such a way that pulls at your heart with a mere mention. I should be happy, ecstatic even. Soon I'll be in Antarctica, surrounded by familiar things. My bed, Eden's gadgets, that nice girl who lives a few doors down.

Why am I so miserable then? Don't I want to go back?

I look around at our temporary apartment. The walls are devoid of colour, contrasting perfectly with the reds, golds, and blacks of the furniture and décor. I smile. I hadn't realized how much I'd come to like it here in the Republic. Sure the technology isn't half as advanced as it is in Antarctica, and the country's quite small too, but the people, the little stores lining the streets, the memories, they're an infinite number of times better. This is my home, I realize. The Republic is where I belong. All the people here, they are my people. Tess, June. June.

I close my eyes and almost immediately an image of her fills my mind. Dark wisps of hair have come undone from the long tail she always wears. The light warms her already golden eyes, and when she smiles, they glow.

"You're thinking about her again, aren't you?"

I open my eyes to find Eden looking at me. His head is tilted to one side; he's analyzing me like one his puzzles. My cheeks turn red. "Shut up," I mutter.

"You have feelings for her," he continues, ignoring my comment, "I can see it in your eyes, Daniel. You care."

"Shut up, " I say again, louder. This is the last thing I want to hear. We're leaving in a few hours, I don't need him telling me what I already know.

"Daniel," Eden says softly, "go see her."

"I will see her," I snap, "when we're leaving." Why am I being so aggressive?

Eden gives me a look. "You know that's not what I mean. Go see her now, in her apartment."

"And what will that accomplish?" I retort.

"Nothing, I suppose. But if you're as half smart as I think you are, you'll go say goodbye."

I sigh. I know he's right, he always is. If I leave without giving June the goodbye she deserves, I'm going to feel like a goddy trot. I abandon my packing and head for the door. "Don't bother coming back here," Eden calls after me, "I'll finish this and meet you at the jet."

I close the apartment door behind me and head down towards the bustling street below. Once outside, I turn in the direction of June's apartment and start walking. On the way, I pass a street vendor selling beautiful roses. She smiles at me as I look at them. Beautiful, just like June. I pick out a red one from the lot and hand the woman a few coins. "Excellent pick, sir," she says, and I continue my way towards June.

Soon, I find myself standing in front of her door. I hold the rose behind me and, gathering my strength, knock twice. Footsteps sound inside and before I know it, I'm staring into June's eyes.

"Day," she says after a beat. Her eyes take me in and a small blush creeps into her cheeks. Then, as if suddenly realizing what she's doing, June shakes her head. "What are you doing here?"

Now it's my turn to blush. "I-um-I just thought-" I stop. Idiot. "I wanted to come and see you," I say, trying again. June smiles and steps to the side, welcoming me in.

I take her in. A thin, silk nightgown covers her body,exposing her arms and shoulders. I feel my cheeks going hot. Her hair falls around her, for once not tied up. June sees me looking and reddens. "I have an off day today," she explains. I nod, too embarrassed to speak. I suddenly remember the rose at my back.

"This," I say, handing her the flower, "is for you. I picked it up on the way here." June takes the rose and smiles up at me.

"Thank you."

We stand there in silence. After a beat, June speaks up. "Have a seat, I'm just going to find a glass for this." I go over to the massive couch and sit down. A few minutes later, June joins me wearing a robe. She looks at me expectantly. Right. I came here for a reason.

"Hey," I say, giving her a lopsided grin.

June laughs. "Hey."

"So." I take a deep breath. "First off, I'm sorry if I woke you," I say, acknowledging her attire.

June looks down and shakes her head. "Oh no, I've been up for a while. I had a weird dream."

"What did you dream about?"

"Nothing of importance," she replies, but I notice the faint tint of red in her cheeks. I can't help but wonder what she dreamed of.

"Well, I came here-" I pause. June raises her eyebrows, urging me on. "I came here to say goodbye," I say.

Her shoulders drop. "Oh, yes, of course." She gives me a small smile, one that I can't help but return. "You must be excited to go back, you're probably homesick."

I run a hand through my hair and shrug. "I guess, yeah." No, not really.

"You'll get to see all your friends soon, play Antarctican games."

I nod. "I can't wait." I couldn't care less.

"It must be great there."

I give her a smile. I want to stay here, with you.

We fall once again into silence, and I'm left staring at June's face. She's not pretty, the word doesn't do her nearly enough justice. Her beauty is something I can only describe as stunning. The sharp angle of her nose, the bold intensity of her eyes. The way her cheek bones rise out so prominently, or the soft, full look of her lips. I'm suddenly overwhelmed with the impulse to press my own to her's. I shake my head to clear the thought.

"June," I manage.

"Yes?" She looks at me, and my earlier desire comes back with a raging intensity. It's all I can do to keep myself from enveloping her, pulling her towards me and never letting go. I take her face in my hands. June freezes. Slowly, I lean towards her until we are separated by mere inches. I can feel her breath, or rather, lack thereof. My heart starts racing. June does not move. She's scared, I realize.

I look into her dark eyes, searching for permission. Is this ok? Are you ok? She gives me an almost imperceptible nod. I close the gap between us and press my lips to her's. Instantly memories fill my mind, flying in from left and right, some fleeting, others lasting long enough for me to remember. A kiss in an abandoned alley, a training session deep underground, a stolen moment in the dead of night.

The kiss deepens. No more is it a soft, gentle, touch on the lips. It has transformed into something I cannot control: deep, hungry, full of wanting. June breaks free and gasps. I give her only a fraction of a second to breathe before I steal her back. My arms encircle her waist, pulling her onto my lap. One of her arms wrap around my neck while the other runs through my hair. I leave her lips and trail kisses down her cheek, her jaw, her neck. Her skin is soft, and the light scent of jasmine causes me to yearn for things I'm too embarrassed to admit. She moves her lips back onto mine, just as hungry as I. This time it is June that presses back, harder. My hands become tangled in her hair, and she lets out a soft moan as I kiss the hollow of her neck.

This is a bad idea, I think. But just as I come to realize it, another part of my mind speaks up, louder, stronger. I don't care. I want her, I want June. And in this moment, I need no one else.